Basic home maintenance or at the very least troubleshooting and diagnostics when something breaks so you can give the repair tech better info when they arrive.
Basic home cleaning. This one might sound obvious but the number of people I’ve worked with who’ve never held a mop before astounds me. Learn to do your own laundry and clean your bathroom and kitchen well and efficiently. Learn what it takes to do a quick clean and a deep clean and do them on a schedule.
Have you tried a clear practice lock to pick? You can watch the pins as you get the feel for it. Once you can pick it easily, cover it with painter’s tape so you can’t see the pins, and try again.
Very basic tools, very easy techniques, yet mind blowing how many people don’t know how to do these things.
To be fair, most millennials aren’t and haven’t been homeowners. It took until 2022 for just over half of millennials to become homeowners.
If you have lived in apartments your whole life, you’re most likely disallowed from doing anything of the sort.
When you’re pushing 40 and you finally own a house, and for the first time in you’re life you’re allowed to modify the place you live, this is the first time you’ve had an opportunity to learn and practice such a skill.
I kind of don’t really blame millennials for this one, although it is arguably an important skillset. Most of us haven’t had living situations where we could do this, it’s as simple as that.
I’ve never lived in an apartment where I was able to hang shelves, let alone paint the walls.
I was a lucky one, bought my house 12 years ago and went to town doing whatever I wanted, holes, paint, ripping up old carpet, etc… then 1 month ago found out my work wants to me move half way across the country in 3 months. Now I’ve got to fix 12 years worth of fucking with my home in a month so I can sell this shit and move lol. Luckily I was a carpenter back in the day (family business) so I know how to fix it all but it’s still shitty. I would suggest not moving forward on projects you can’t quickly finish when you own a home as my thing for this thread lol.
This is so absurd to me how can anyone disallow painting and drilling into walls of an apartment, I’m very glad that tenancy laws here basically say that if you rent a place you can do whatever you want with it, as long as reasonably it’s restore-able.
For a lot of the younger folks in the EU if your rental contract tells you you can’t do something it’s probably bullshit. And even if it isn’t at worst you’ll lose your deposit.
Some US rental contracts even regulate what spices you can cook with, which is arguably something that could be akin to racism since its squarely aimed at certain cultures foods over others.
However, since its not explicitly racism, in the US its totally okay. You basically have to use a racial slur while doing it for it to count as “racism” here.
I agree with you to a point, some spices used in cultural dishes are extremely potent and permeates into everything when cooked even semi-frequently. Even worse than cigarette smoke IMO. Indian curry is delicious, but the cooking process of it…not so much.
It’s not completely unreasonable to class these spices as having similar damage to property as cigarette smoke and often it takes similar remediation methods to get rid of it.
When my wife and I bought our first house, I was able to clean the entire rest of the house in the time it took her to clean the wall where the previous owners had done their cooking.
Good thing is there’s a video tutorial for almost anything like that on the internet at least. One of the more essential, helpful things this age of information sharing has contributed to.
If you have lived in apartments your whole life, you’re most likely disallowed from doing anything of the sort.
This. I’ve had a mortgage for exactly 4 years in my life, and when we panic-sold to move across the country for work we got nothing back for the investment (less, if you count renos we had done on move-in). And there’s nothing I want to do as an amateur in a 50-year-old house that involves opening a wall.
Formal Logic. Please, can this be a full k-12 course like English and Math? Just learn to think, analyse, and correlate ideas in ways that are communicable. Learn what the logical fallacies are and how to avoid them. Train a functional bullshit detector. This world would be so much better off if the bulk of the population could understand what a confirmation bias was. As much as I hate to link to a Grammarly blog post, it gives good examples. Obviously all of it needs to be made age appropriate, but we never bother to actually teach people how to think, we just expect them to know and that has not been working out too well.
You are correct, I have studied both (math degree). Both need to be trained though. Informal logic helps a lot to notice the nonsensical statements that can be made that satisfy the rules of formal logic, but still don’t operate in reality.
Learn about the concept of relational and transactional relationships. Learn to identify which ones are which in your life, and if they are one way or two way. You do not need anything other than two way relational relationships in life. Discard the others, they are deadweights.
For the creators, people have become leeches accustomed to only taking, and never giving back. It is perfectly okay to shut yourself off rather than bleeding your soul to death. For the leeches, it is a one way business. Might as well treat yourself like royalty. You have a limited amount of gratitude and need to refuel yourself.
Men need to hurry the fuck up and learn stoicism. Society does not care about a man’s emotional sanctity, which is the counterpart to a woman’s physical sanctity. Men are also far weaker emotionally and psychologically than women.
Be mighty AND be respectful towards others. If you separate these and be just mighty, you end up being an asshole that will fall just as hard. If you be too nice and respectful, people will make you a doormat.
Edit: I should probably add this, even if obvious from the last one.
Respect consent AND never worship anyone. This advice is directed largely towards isolated men who fall for redpillers, and/or end up taking extreme lessons regarding women. Be courteous and ask women. But also do not end up being a pathetic simp. On a lesser level, this advice goes for women too.
I disagree with your take on men being emotionally weaker. It’s merely an excuse to avoid learning emotional intelligence and it’s just a symptom of how they are socialised. Men don’t learn how to properly channel and express their emotions, instead being told to bottle them up or repress themselves from early childhood (stuff like being told “You’re a boy, stop crying” or “Man up and get over it”). It leads to a less empathetic world and makes people insensitive and inconsiderate.
This is not an excuse, but studied on a brain level by neurologists and psychologists. I would recommend you check Dr Daniel Amen, one of the world’s best psychiatrists who has scanned over 250K brains. He explains these things well, and people like Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have consulted him.
His 2 hour podcast on Diary Of A CEO on YouTube is good. (Skip to 1:32:48 upto 1:35:24, 3 minutes, if you want to get to the part I am focusing on, differences between male and female brains. I recommend watching full though.) www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycTZ_t-aiuU The video has gathered 3M views in a month.
We can make the society better only if we stick to facts, and rebuild a foundation on that basis. We have an individualistic and apathetic capitalist society today. We are led to it, but we need to reverse the course, making the society collectivist, empathetic and knit together.
People in general can learn something from stoicism. From a philosophical standpoint it can be a good place to provide tools for improving yourself from within. However, I also find it hard to accept that men are inherently emotionally weaker than women for many of the reasons mentioned by LoreleiSankTheShip.
Modern societies extert incredible pressure on people to conform to unreasonable expectations which greatly repress individuality. These pressures start early and are persistent. Emotionally intelligent men exist and have always existed. I could easily believe many of these men couldn’t even begin to define or explain stoicism. Their emotional intelligence could have been learned from family, friends, partners or community.
A broad and over generalized expectation of modern men are that they be strong and courageous. That they act as independent individuals to care for their family or community. Traits which could be mistaken for a surface level of stoicism.
What we are seeing today in is very much a lack of emotional intelligence. There is a very noticeable deficiency in emotional intelligence in men when compared to women. Unable to reflect inwards about their motivations and outward actions. Unable to empathetically understand how their actions affect those around them. Unable to to identity, verbalize or express the emotions which are happening within them. As a result, men don’t have the proper understanding of themselves to begin the process of improving themselves. Trans men offer a unique insight into this as they have had the opportunity to experience two worlds of gender expectations.
But humans are social animals. Many mammals exhibit social needs. We can look to our closest friends such as cats and dogs and see how true that is. We’ve reached a point where our social communities are fragmented and broken. The ideal of a strong man is heavily expected to replace that missing sense of community.
It’s become and issue so deep and entangled that it’s hard to know where to even begin. I wish there was a simple -ism to unravel this mess but a person is complex. Eight billion people with eight billion unique perspectives is a level of complexity we just don’t know how to even comprehend or manage.
We can start by teaching emotional understanding from within, by being good examples, by creating and maintaining communities or by calling out bad behavior. Unfortunately, these actions can be attacked. It’s an uphill battle and the hill is looking very steep.
I do not trust Lorelei’s personal view. This is a fact coming from a famous psychiatrist, I mentioned in a reply to him. Consider watching 3 minutes of that.
A whole lot of 90s and post 90s people seem to have some kind of neuro disorders, like ADHD, neurodivergence, autism and so on. It also exists in older people, but we are the current and future workforce, and the older baby boomers have lived out their lives. The whole obsession with empathy seems to be highly simplified, and I think nobody explains properly why “mental health” and “get therapy” is such a big issue. I think I got the answer, thanks to Dr Daniel Amen’s podcast video.
Do yourself a favour, watch it, even better if you watch the whole thing. He has scanned over 250K brains and is a professional.
In order to engage you in meaningful discussion, I need to understand your thoughts and perspectives more from your own words.
Why do you not trust the personal view of another lemmy user? We are on a social platform made for discussing a variety of topics and we will always encounter different views. Hopefully this leads to exploring and expanding our own views on the topics we bring up.
I would also like to stay on the topic of men and emotional intelligence which was brought up by LoreleiSankTheShip. I currently do not see how neurodivergence and generational workforces fit into this discussion unless you can clearly state the connections for me.
I do agree with you that the importance of mental health and it’s approaches are not very well explained. However, empathy carries a lot of weight in the discussion of mental health and should not be undermined or under valued.
Lastly, it’s easy to link a video of an expert, but experts are human and can fall for personal biases too. If you can explain to me your interpretation of what this expert is saying, we can begin to have a thorough discussion. Otherwise, I fear we may be deadlocked and nothing more will come of this.
I did watch your recommended clip and am still struggling to understand your view point.
I do not trust the words of an internet user because the other guy has seen and studied (250K) more brains than anyone else in the world, and has studied brains of people like Muhammad Ali and Justin Bieber. The doctor is not just a certified professional, he is at the top of psychiatry field, the crème de la crème. I will never prioritise anyone’s observations over that kind of a leading expert.
If you want to validate yourself forcibly and feel deadlocked, despite knowing someone’s certified credentials and real world treatment results, then that is on you. I can only lead the horse to the water, horse can choose to drink or not.
If you went ahead through a 2 hour long podcast that gained 3M views in a month, maybe you would gain a lot out of it, considering we do not live in particularly the most encouraging times as far as attention span goes towards something as boring as 2 people talking on a gray table.
I should add that I just discovered I have ADHD, and am able to hyperfocus on topics I like to study and also have EFD, so I found incredible details in all the stuff the doctor explained.
Unfortunately I feel this conversation has become deadlocked for a number of reasons.
You have clearly dismissed a fellow person with a valid observation and left no room for open discussion. When given the opportunity to express why you do not agree, you continue to be dismissive.
You have ignored the topics that has been brought up and are being discussed. In this case emotional intelligence, particularly among men.
You have not made an attempt to clearly connect your various points into a cohesive argument.
You have not expressed what you have studied in your own words. To express ideas in your own words would show the rest of us how you perceive and understand a topic. This would be a great base for having a meaningful conversation.
Lastly, you have done nothing but blindly praise an individual on a podcast. If the words in your initial post are true, we should never worship anyone.
Taking a step back away from everyone and everything to think of why we react to other peoples words may help us to understand ourselves better. And that’s a good thing.
At this point I am done. As a fellow individual with ADHD (and Autism), I wish you the best on your mental health journey and I hope you approach it with an open heart and open mind. Thank you for giving me a new perspective for me to think about and hopefully understand in the future.
You are trying to gaslight me, so this will be the last of our interactions on the internet.
A doctor at the top of their specialised field is not “worshipped”, but respected when their observations are held to the highest regard. Not doing so is a very high order of disrespect. You think that lemmy user has studied even 25 brain scans of people, let alone over 250 hundred thousand brains? I am not going to explain things any better than a world renowned psychiatrist. This is why I told you to go watch their video. You cannot do it, and that other lemmy user you are revering so much cannot either. A doctor can.
I am also done with your stubbornness, and your faux obsession to forcibly prove yourself correct using emotions against hard proofs with basis in science. If you had any respect for neurological conditions or disorders, you would not go around dismissing a world renowned psychiatrist for an internet user’s word.
Feelings are not more important than logic and facts. The day you understand this, you will grow as an individual who does not need to rely on impulsive and emotional methods to get through talking to people. It is okay to be firm with facts rather than be delusional with feelings.
Sewing. I’ve saved a lot of shirts putting buttons back on and fixing holes. You can also do your own alterations on clothes but I’m not brave enough to try that yet.
Yeah but I feel at least at weddings circle dancing is more common and that requires going in the middle and showing your moves not really partner dancing. I haven’t been to a wedding where there’s partner dancing with enough room to do a waltz.
Someone blow my mind with it and since then my life wasn’t colplete without it… just listen me out … You are in a rush maybe your train is leaving or something like that … So you run right … Yeah and if u encounter a pair of stairs climbing up you still rush by skipping steps right … And if the stairs are going down ? Yeah you might jump the last steps but you ain’t gonna gain much especially if the stairs are long or wiredly segmented … And if I told you it’s possible to descend 2 steps with a single step ? You climb stairs in a pair why not descend them in a pair too …
It isn’t that hard to learn you might slip some time while learning but I have never fell … It’s all a game of weight transfer … Just move your weight a little back and move the leg a bit forward… Btw I found it easier with a heavy backpack too…
I was in Milan rushing for the underground train and a man in a blue suit passed me whit ease on the stairs … Now I’m ready … I’m waiting for you I’m waiting for revenge !!!
sewing with a needle and thread. nothing complicated, the bare minimum is useful in a lot of ways.
i keep a small kit in my car because my pants waistlines keep shrinking mysteriously and i’m starting to randomly lose buttons and getting blowouts in the crotch. [likely due to far-reaching, nefarious, conspiracies and not b/c of the other kit in my car that’s full of snacks].
what used to be my crippling, irrational fear of inadvertently exposing myself at like a job interview or in an uber with a cute driver, is now an easy fix i can do in a minute AND it’s certain to make an impression.
old winter jackets with a lot of zippered pockets are especially great practice. try unstitching and removing a few of the pockets, then add them to other jackets or whatever you can think of.
For some people it’s easy, for others it isn’t, and/or they’re afraid of messing it up.
This is the secondary reason why I created SwapMyOS, a GrapheneOS installation service that kicks back a percentage of every order to the GrapheneOS nonprofit to keep it funded.
Primary reason was to keep GrapheneOS alive and funded.