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GluWu , to lemmyshitpost in well if you look at it that way

I’d rather have a thicc 6 than a thin 7

dharmacurious ,

As a bottom it genuinely depends on the day. Some days a dude hits me up on Grindr and if he uses the word thick or sends a pic that looks particularly thick and I’m noping out faster than you can say “oh God it burns

Some days I’m like “I wonder if I can find a dude with a 2 liter bottle down there. Like Edward scissor hands. Jonathan two-liter-junk”

GluWu ,

I honesty have no idea what that means, but regardless, I hope you have a happy butthole.

dharmacurious ,

Most days I do, thank you. I wish you the very same. Happy butthole, happy butthole to all!

IWantYou ,

Thanks. I had a very happy butthole last night. Very happy indeed.

dharmacurious ,

I kinda wanna know the story… Lol

IWantYou , (edited )

I’m bi, and I have a very long lasting occasional gay FWB thing going and we agreed it would be fun to have a sleepover. Him promising to fuck me all night long was an irresistable suggestion. Well of course he didn’t literally fuck me all night long, but he had my precum flowing for hours. He played with my butthole gently for a looong time, keeping his fingers a lot less deep than usual, mainly just the entrance. Just that fingertip (he’d previiously cut his fingernails very short so everything was soft and not scratchy), that fingertip pressed along my hole, and popping gently in and out, stimulating the nerve endings just inside me. Usually I want something bigger urgently but we were deliberately taking our time and I was in bliss. He teased me with the tip of his dick quite a bit nearer the end. I didn’t stay hard the whole time but I was soooo turned on and I was certainly leaking precum all the time. He often uses my precum as well as his to lube my hole, and last night was no exception. Once he put himself inside me, I kept being sure I was about to cum, dick still soft, (and I’ve been chasing that for years). Last night was another attempt. I was so stimulated and maaad for it and he was going so slowly and gently my mind was cartwheeling. I would love to say that I’ve cum from anal alone, but there’s always a bit of dick action before I do. I was so sure it was gonna happen! It didn’t. Partly because when I thought it was gonna happen I got hard again and he started messing around with my dick, rubbing it here and there, not wanking me, just rubbing my precum drenched cock on me and on his hand and on his tummy (he knows I have a thing for belly buttons) and I just came all over myself. He didn’t finish inside me, he just spurted all his cum with his dickhead pressed against me, spurting directly on my bumhole and I could feel it all happening. We do that more often than not because it’s easier to clean up and I don’t worry about cum leaking out at work or something. If you look in my comment history you can read the other time I told lemmy what we did when he most recently did cum inside me.

When we were younger, hornier, crazier and more risk taking, and we worked at the same place, we did sometimes hook up in the loos at work, but there’s absolutely no way I would dream of doing that now.

So anyway, he made my butthole feel like magic until about 3am and then we both fell asleep, and I wasn’t even sore in the morning. A bit sticky and very tired, but not sore. My guy can play my body like a fiddle. I wasn’t working that day, so I didn’t shower and walked around in public, shops etc with all our precum and cum plastered all over my bum and taint. I only showered in the evening. It was partly laziness, but it was also being secretly proud of it. Sometimes I still think and act like a horny teenager.

Edit: Here’s the other comment thread I was referring to:
lemmynsfw.com/post/13246982
lemmynsfw.com/comment/7691421

That time it was some stuff that @joshoff posted that inspired me to get fucked so I asked my FWB to come fuck me. This time it was my FWB who suggested the sleepover so he could fuck me all night, and that’s where you come in asking me a later how come my butthole was so happy!

joshoff ,

You’re a damned hero. Thanks for taking us on this ride.

joshoff ,

I don’t often top but I want in on this

IWantYou ,

Oh fuck, @joshoff, you’re a stud hero on lemmy and here you are talking about hitting my ass! You’re way out of my league and on another continent, but you didn’t half make me feel sexy with this comment. Thank you.

werefreeatlast , to lemmyshitpost in well if you look at it that way

It’s all about how close the eye of the beholder is to the penis…I mean tape measuring tool.

Sam_Bass , to lemmyshitpost in well if you look at it that way

Perspective is huger

Sam_Bass , to lemmyshitpost in Ceci n'est pas une pipe

I miss that screensaver

blackbirdbiryani ,

I still have it, you can easily download the original screen saver file and put it in the right folder

BenLeMan , to lemmyshitpost in Ceci n'est pas une pipe

Take my upvote for the unexpected Magritte quote.

nebulaone , to lemmyshitpost in Dropped a paperclip on my laptop and it landed like this
@nebulaone@lemmy.world avatar

OP discovers magnetism.

Edit: nvm it says so in the post.

TootSweet ,

I mean, it’s still a very unlikely way to land. Even if it hit very close to directly upright, you’d think it’d be much more likely that it’d fall flat against the surface of the laptop. But not as unlikelycompletely impossible as if there wasn’t a magnet right there.

nebulaone ,
@nebulaone@lemmy.world avatar

True, don’t take my comment too seriously, it was meant as a joke.

sudoroot , to lemmyshitpost in Dropped a paperclip on my laptop and it landed like this
@sudoroot@lemmy.zip avatar

My favorite hobby

BlackLaZoR , to lemmyshitpost in Dropped a paperclip on my laptop and it landed like this
@BlackLaZoR@kbin.run avatar

Random erections are the worst

HonkTonkWoman ,

“Are you happy to see me or is that just a paperclip in your pants?”

bizarroland OP ,

Yes but I can understand the confusion

boydster , to lemmyshitpost in Dropped a paperclip on my laptop and it landed like this
@boydster@sh.itjust.works avatar
tpihkal ,

Literally no one knows.

whostosay ,

Holy shit this picture is awesome

Bishma , to lemmyshitpost in Dropped a paperclip on my laptop and it landed like this
@Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

Strong Clippy vibes.

“It looks like you’re trying to damage your screen. Can I help?”

hperrin , to lemmyshitpost in Dropped a paperclip on my laptop and it landed like this

Are you sure it’s magnets? Have you ruled out magic?

SilentObserver ,

Nah. More probable to be matrix.

Steamymoomilk ,

By jove hes a wizard

independantiste ,
@independantiste@sh.itjust.works avatar

Aren’t magnets magic??

hperrin ,

Only the magic ones.

Hupf ,
@Hupf@feddit.org avatar

Yeah, but what kind of magic?

flauschtier , to lemmyshitpost in Dropped a paperclip on my laptop and it landed like this

„Fucking magnets, how do they work?“

-An Intellectual

dumbass , to lemmyshitpost in damn
@dumbass@leminal.space avatar

Well fuck you too!

HN82 , to lemmyshitpost in damn

I’m just not fat yet, and not sober either

Nikls94 ,

*that

you’re not that fat yet.

HN82 ,

I’m just skin and bones man

Nikls94 ,

You could learn a thing or two from me then, my blood pressure is cholesterol

M137 ,
@M137@lemmy.world avatar

It’ll come in time, believe me.

LordGimp , to lemmyshitpost in damn

This is all the people from hs who rocked the cookie monster hat.

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