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MudMan , to nottheonion in Republicans wear ear bandages in 'solidarity' with Trump

I'll give it to you, this is the most a Not The Onion post has made me go "wait, is that The Onion"?

Good job. I think.

SlippiHUD ,
@SlippiHUD@lemmy.world avatar

Oh, did you not see the commemorative sneakers he’s selling?

MudMan ,

Nah, that I believed. Trump shilling useless crap is extremely plausible.

Blackmist OP ,

I genuinely don’t know how satirists are supposed to make a living any more.

WhereGrapesMayRule , to nottheonion in Republicans wear ear bandages in 'solidarity' with Trump

Their heads are as soft as their little impotent penises.

kbal , to nottheonion in Republicans wear ear bandages in 'solidarity' with Trump
@kbal@fedia.io avatar

Be extra careful not to hurt your ear this week, you won't be able to bandage it

QuentinCallaghan , to nottheonion in Republicans wear ear bandages in 'solidarity' with Trump
@QuentinCallaghan@sopuli.xyz avatar

Imagine what it would look like if Trump was shot in the dick.

rebelsimile ,

it’s amazing how much the context on this sentence has shifted inside of a week.

friend_of_satan , to nottheonion in Republicans wear ear bandages in 'solidarity' with Trump

But these sheep can’t wear masks? Give me a fucking break.

NJSpradlin ,

They’re inconvenienced by having to smell their own lies.

givesomefucks ,

To be fair, they need the bandage just as much as trump does.

Like. A day or two after the attempt he was out golfing and didn’t have a bandage or anything.

I think it was just a small nick and the blood thinners he’s likely on just makes you bleed like crazy since they prevent clotting. A small scratch looks like a war wound, and would explain why there was blood everywhere but he still has a functional ear.

Like, if he really got shot in the ear, he’d be missing a part of his ear like in Preacher. It won’t just heal back.

Dude got a scratch and is playing it up.

morrowind ,
@morrowind@lemmy.ml avatar

Trump is on blood thinners? Why?

givesomefucks ,

He’s in his late 70s, doesn’t exercise, eats like shit, and is drastically overweight…

Like, it’s one of those things that are just safe to assume. Blood thinners arent really that rare for people 30 years younger than either candidate.

Valmond ,

I wonder what his theoretical are is lol.

Orbituary ,
@Orbituary@lemmy.world avatar

His blood is thick with hamburger juice.

Gerudo ,

A lot of people that age, with his OBVIOUS unhealthy BMI are on blood thinner as prevention more than anything else.

Cocodapuf ,

To prevent strokes and heart attacks. It’s pretty common.

TheOctonaut ,

He’s a WWE Hall of Famer. I would not be surprised if he was blading.

EisFrei ,

Well…

There isn’t a fourth monkey covering its nose.

Susaga ,

There is, however, a fourth monkey covering his crotch. “Do no evil”

Myxomatosis ,

The masks prevent them from quaffing their own farts all day long.

tiredofsametab , to nottheonion in Republicans wear ear bandages in 'solidarity' with Trump

And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.

The previous verse says hand or forehead but close enough

RagnarokOnline ,

If there is an anti-Christ, this dude has to be the closest we’ve got to it

ccunning , to nottheonion in Republicans wear ear bandages in 'solidarity' with Trump

I can’t decide if this is more or less weird than wearing a diaper in support of Trum…no…it’s less weird…right?

logicbomb ,

Since these people aren’t treating any ear injury, you might as well call these “ear diapers.”

snooggums ,
@snooggums@midwest.social avatar

That is consistent with their usage of chin diapers that also had no medical use.

Sgt_choke_n_stroke , to nottheonion in Republicans wear ear bandages in 'solidarity' with Trump

Not like politicians were listening to us anyway, no need to cover your ears.

KillerTofu , to nottheonion in Republicans wear ear bandages in 'solidarity' with Trump

It’s all fucking weird.

WhatAmLemmy ,

Almost like it’s a mental illness or cult… But nope, perfectly normal. You are the one that’s crazy! You should wear more diapers and ear patches about that.

Triasha , to music in Jack Black cancels Tenacious D tour and places future projects on hold after Kyle Gass comments on Trump

He probably doesn’t want to get shot.

rekabis , to music in Jack Black cancels Tenacious D tour and places future projects on hold after Kyle Gass comments on Trump

Most of the western world fought back against the Nazis in WWII for the very reason that fascism is deeply hostile to a healthy democracy and a free society.

Kyle was right: we didn’t teach our soldiers to miss back then, so there is no excuse to miss now.

A_Random_Idiot ,

Was a right wing idiot, listening to right wing hate and violence, who took a shot at a right wing idol.

Theres nothing “ours” or “soldier” about it.

IzzyJ ,
@IzzyJ@lemmy.world avatar

Tbf, there was a WWII instructional film that taught “how to get killed”, but that was sarcastic (and about the Pacific theater)

Linkerbaan , to world in Gaza man with Down's syndrome attacked by IDF dog and left to die
@Linkerbaan@lemmy.world avatar

For anyone wanting to see some grim reality of an israeli dog attacking a Palestinian woman in Gaza recently:

NSFL: Twitter video link

iAvicenna , to music in Jack Black cancels Tenacious D tour and places future projects on hold after Kyle Gass comments on Trump
@iAvicenna@lemmy.world avatar

I mean to be honest half the world is probably saying the same thing.

ILikeBoobies ,

Only America’s allies

Alexstarfire ,

Half of America is wishing it too, even if not vocalized.

DragonTypeWyvern ,

The problem being the other half isn’t.

FiniteBanjo ,

I assume Jack and his team probably started recieving threats from the crowd that shot at Trump (republicans).

iAvicenna ,
@iAvicenna@lemmy.world avatar

I guess attempting to kill and joking about killing Trump is a privilege that only republicans enjoy

FiniteBanjo ,

TBH I don’t give a single solitary fuck who Republicans think or don’t think is allowed to do anything. That doesn’t mean Jack Black has to risk his life over some ha has.

MrScottyTay ,

This barely would be known if it wasn’t for them splitting up over about it though. They said it to an Australian crowd. They ain’t doing anything about it.

FiniteBanjo ,

There have been no statements about the band ending, but they have almost certainly ended the Australian Tour, sadly. Gass has also been dropped by Greene Talent agency, so he might have to work to regain trust from the business suits if they want to do big events again. Both Gass and Black have both been apologetic and on the same page with their public statements.

They once wrote and performed a song about killing politicians and ruling as idiot kings, they’ll be fine.

MrScottyTay ,

Ahh, think I misinterpreted Black’s “all future creative plans are on hold” statement. Forgetting the “on hold” part.

b161 , to music in Jack Black cancels Tenacious D tour and places future projects on hold after Kyle Gass comments on Trump
brbposting , to world in Gaza man with Down's syndrome attacked by IDF dog and left to die

So Gazans with Down syndrome look similar to Westerners with Down syndrome. In a way it makes me feel like all of us in world are less different than we might think.

Xeroxchasechase ,

You didn’t feel it until you saw the picture? Let me tell you: even without down syndrome we’re all alike!

brbposting ,

❤️

I feels it! We’re far more alike than we are different! We have the same mama you & me, all of us :)

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