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twilwel

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Velomobielgarage Twilwiel, boventoonzang, muziek en film, SF&Fantasy, velomobilist. De stem als instrument. Mijn muziek op https://harrylieben.bandcamp.com/ Geworteld in Drenthe, interesse in van alles en nog wat. Nederlands, Deutsch, English.

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olena , to actuallyautistic
@olena@mementomori.social avatar

Do you guys also combine almost pathological conflict avoidance - and the brilliant talent to create a conflict out of nothing just trying to explain your point of view or to point out some factual error another person made while talking about your special interest?

I don’t defend myself, I don’t tell I don’t like something or that I see that I am being taken advantage of or being lied to, or that someone hurts me - I never raise a voice and tell that, or question them, or demand my rights and all - because I am terribly afraid on conflicts. Not even that I won’t be liked, or that there’s going to be some consequence or anything. Just a conflict itself. I’m scared even when there’s a conflict that doesn’t include me nearby, but even the shadow of an idea that something I may say may create a conflict makes me go silent, and just dodge and tolerate more, doesn’t matter how bad I feel.

But when just discussing something - I mean not something important, may be a birds name, a train route from 80-s, the way some thing works etc - any abstract staff that doesn’t correspond to my life in any way - especially when I clearly see the opponent is making the factual error or denying my actual experience with the topic - it does create a conflict, and people would say I am a conflicting person, I am the one who likes to just disagree and all.

Is that desire to avoid conflict at all costs - and the inability to actually spot when another person starts to see your discussion as a conflict - some thing?



@actuallyautistic

twilwel ,
@twilwel@mastodon.nl avatar

@olena @actuallyautistic yes. Although I have improved a lot in standing up for myself. Took me long enough. I really hate conflict.

autism101 , to actuallyautistic
@autism101@mstdn.social avatar

There are common triggers that can lead some autistic people to experience a meltdown or a shutdown.

Do you have any?

@actuallyautistic

image: @littlepuddins.ie

twilwel ,
@twilwel@mastodon.nl avatar

@autism101 @actuallyautistic I have difficulty regulating my body temperature, but had no idea it could be an autistic trait? Apart from that I count about half of the triggers as a problem for me. Too loud noises and social interactions are the worst but also feeling trapped, sudden changes are pretty bad for me. I do not surpress stims anymore, its too unhealthy.

AutisticAdam , to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

My autistic brain’s aversion to surprises extends to gifts. I’m grateful when people think of me and want to buy me gifts, but 99% of the time I’d rather they didn’t. Surprise gifts or gifts in general
can carry great expectations and generally bring me so much stress that I derive little joy from them.

Even if its something I really like. Its the same when buying gifts for others too, I don't like it. I'm not being "tight with money" or lazy.

@actuallyautistic

twilwel ,
@twilwel@mastodon.nl avatar

@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic Exactly. I finally convinced all my friends and family I don't like gifts, don't like giving gifts. It's not about the money. it's the godawful stress of having to smile when you again get a present you don't want in the first place.

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