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@tanquist@masto.ai cover
@tanquist@masto.ai avatar

tanquist

@[email protected]

I like #OpenSource and #NonProfit so I signed up to see what would happen.

I dabble in #C++, #VBA, #StereoPhotography, and #Drawing.
I live near Stillwater, Minnesota, USA.

Header image: #Stereogram of a 2019 art display on the top level of the old herring factory in #Djupavik, #Iceland. From 1935 to 1954, herring meal flowed through the chute at the far end into burlap sacks.

Profile picture: A picture of me one of my kids snapped circa 2012.

#Autistic #Atheist #Sober #Gay #Progressive

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filmfreak75 , to actuallyautistic
@filmfreak75@mastodon.social avatar

anyone have any book recommendations for a parent of an adult diagnosed autistic child?

everything i’m seeing so far is for parents of little kids. @actuallyautistic

tanquist ,
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@filmfreak75 @actuallyautistic
I bought "Social Thinking At Work: Why Should I Care?" by Michelle Garcia Winner & Pamela Crooke at an autism conference about 10 years ago. I didn't finish it, but what I did read showed me the value in choosing to connect with co-workers. My tendency was to head straight to my desk and get to work. I found that simply greeting people in the morning and saying "Hi" to coworkers as we pass in the hallway has increased my comfort level and theirs.

tanquist ,
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@filmfreak75 @actuallyautistic
In "The Autistic Brain," describes her theories about the different ways we process information. She concludes with advice on how we can find success in life by focusing on our strengths.

autism101 , to actuallyautistic
@autism101@mstdn.social avatar

If I try to psych myself up for a social event and focus on masking and pretending to be “normal” it never goes well, so I just don’t.

Do you?

@actuallyautistic

tanquist ,
@tanquist@masto.ai avatar

@autism101 @actuallyautistic
Trying to appear normal at social events requires nearly all of my attention and I have no idea what anyone is saying so I no longer attempt it. I occasionally manage to carry on a conversation with someone. When that fails, I...

  1. Look at the artwork (if there is any)
  2. Look out the window (if there are any)
  3. Go outside for some fresh air.
AutisticAdam , (edited ) to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

"You can’t be autistic - you can make eye contact!”

Being autistic doesn’t mean I can’t make eye contact, rather that eye contact can be painful and overstimulating for me. Yet, I make it because I have to. If I didn’t, many would be hurt/angry, and I’d face further ostracism. Thanks for your pointless comment anyway from someone that clearly doesn't know what you're talking about.

@actuallyautistic

tanquist ,
@tanquist@masto.ai avatar

@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic
Staring at eyes is too intense and trying to simulate natural intervals of looking away requires too much concentration. I miss most of what the person is saying. I don't do any more.

AutisticAdam , to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

Some of my less talked about autistic traits:

  • Reading captions on videos despite having solid hearing.

  • Only speaking when you’ve knowledge or valuable insights.

  • Answering “how are you?” honestly.

  • Proofreading texts/emails/etc 10+ times before sending.

  • Clumsy phraseology (e.g saying “present opening” instead of present opening” instead of “opening presents”).

  • Not upgrading items due to a strong attachment to current items.

What's yours ?!

@actuallyautistic

tanquist ,
@tanquist@masto.ai avatar

@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic
I have a knack for offending people and getting uninvited to meetings.

AutisticAdam , to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

Finding out that I have spent my life scripting things to say just to make other people happy and make social interactions go "smoothly" at the cost of my own mental health, personal integrity, and self-identity is an masked Autistic experience.

@actuallyautistic

tanquist ,
@tanquist@masto.ai avatar

@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic
It took me a long time to learn that striving to please others does not bring . It brought a of but no . Being myself brought me a few quality relationships and that is all I need.

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