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saltnotsugar

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saltnotsugar ,

I used ChatGPT to write a song about hamsters robbing a bank.

saltnotsugar ,

He barks but he’s bilingual.

saltnotsugar ,

I wonder if a cat scientist can prove or disprove this claim.

saltnotsugar ,

Thank you professor!

saltnotsugar ,

Hey can you mark a porcelain figure of a woman and a chicken?
“Sure, old ladies love-“
Yeah but the chicken needs a gaping asshole.

saltnotsugar ,

If them gov’ment boys show up with their giant microwave…GOOD GOLLY.

saltnotsugar ,

I’d watch a noir detective film about a programmer going over some wackadoodle code.

saltnotsugar ,

A curse to live to such an age, where foul raisins defile such an innocent dish.

saltnotsugar ,

Your honor, my client promises to beseech the machine spirit and raise little Syntax Error here under the cult of Mars.

saltnotsugar ,

Roll a die. On a 1-5, zero cubes. On a six, reroll ten times to see how many come out at once.

saltnotsugar ,

Of course I find this right after building a gaming pc.

saltnotsugar ,

Deep throat the treat from the sea!

saltnotsugar ,

This will get you prison time in Italy.

saltnotsugar ,

Has someone sent you feet pics yet?

saltnotsugar ,

Like…LMAO…let’s run some BMPs across this field.
“Sir, the field is mined, covered by anti tank weapons, and is zeroed in with artillery.”
Bro, trust me bro it’ll work bro.

saltnotsugar ,

People in the 80’s: Some day an AI will take over the world.
People today: YO CHAT GPT, Write a song about hamsters robbing a bank!

saltnotsugar ,

(Verse 1) In the underground, where the tunnels run deep, There’s a crew of hamsters, they don’t get no sleep. With their tiny masks and their paws so sly, They’re plottin’ a heist, gonna reach for the sky.

(Chorus) Hamster heist, in the dead of the night, They’re rollin’ on wheels, gonna steal out of sight. Little furball bandits, ain’t no one suspect, In this phonk song, their caper’s perfect.

(Verse 2) They scoped out the bank, made a plan so cool, Hamster in the getaway car, he’s the wheelman, no fool. The vault’s their target, full of sunflower seeds, These rodents mean business, fulfillin’ their needs.

(Chorus) Hamster heist, in the dead of the night, They’re rollin’ on wheels, gonna steal out of sight. Little furball bandits, ain’t no one suspect, In this phonk song, their caper’s perfect.

(Bridge) They scurry and scamper, through vents they’ll explore, In the dark of the bank, they’re gonna score. With their pockets full of loot, they’ll make their escape, These hamster outlaws, there’s no time to wait.

(Verse 3) But the bank’s alarm starts to ring out so loud, And the security guards, they’re joinin’ the crowd. The hamsters keep movin’, they won’t back down, They’ve come too far now, they’ll own this town.

(Chorus) Hamster heist, in the dead of the night, They’re rollin’ on wheels, gonna steal out of sight. Little furball bandits, ain’t no one suspect, In this phonk song, their caper’s perfect.

(Outro) In the end, they made it away with the dough, Through tunnels and alleys, they continue to go. Those hamster bandits, the legends they’ll be, In the annals of rodent crime history.

saltnotsugar ,

If it smells like poop everywhere you go, check under your own shoe.

saltnotsugar ,

Not gonna lie. I’d watch a Star Trek romantic comedy called Klingon To You.

saltnotsugar ,

Your chances of being shanked by a raccoon are unlikely…but never zero.

His name is Lincoln, and one day, he will be a big boy! (i.ibb.co)

This picture was taken by a good friend of mine, Jessica Coleman. It was posted with permission. Jessica is a professional photographer and journalist, and operates Lumpy Lizard Reptile, Poultry, and Animal Rescue near Edna, Texas. Her animal rescue is a registered nonprofit and operates by donation, relying on the generosity of...

saltnotsugar ,

2,000 milligrams!

saltnotsugar ,

Database admins HATE him

saltnotsugar ,

Look upon the cursed candy and despair.

saltnotsugar ,

Now I’m picturing penguins having nonstop business meetings about fish and vendor relations in Antarctica.

saltnotsugar ,

Wow that’s a big bouncing animal! Kind of reminds me of-
“A mouse. Like a big mouse with a bag.”
…Good idea sir.

saltnotsugar ,

Amazon typically hasn’t been two business days consistently for years for me. I also found out many of their prices are massively inflated for certain products. A lawn mower I was considering was at least 30% more expensive than the same one on a competing website.

saltnotsugar ,

See that’s the wacky thing for the mower specifically. Not only do I shop with a browser that has all cookies disabled, I must have checked on the price for the mower ten times over many months along with some alternatives and even other websites. I think they inflate the price if it’s a 3rd party vendor selling on Amazon sometimes.

saltnotsugar ,

Man I can grow you some big old pumpkins, I’ll tell you what. Them ol, giant pumpkin, that ol, hit it with an ax and a million pop out, mmm hmmm.

saltnotsugar ,

I’m no cat scientist but that stare indicates this feline has a VERY angry British lord as an internal monologue.

saltnotsugar ,

Caramelldansen would be blaring as I pull up.

saltnotsugar ,

Squad 1 will assault here, and Squad 2 will-
“Power up like in Dragon Ball Z. ^-^”
It sure as hell will not!

saltnotsugar ,

I totally don’t constantly hit refresh like some kind of addict. Totally!

saltnotsugar ,

CMD window pops up and closes.

saltnotsugar ,

This dude can make a portal to hell with some obsidian and a lighter.

saltnotsugar ,

Uhhh…I’m conducting an experiment where…like what if there was a fire and you happened to be at the…used plant dealership.

saltnotsugar ,

Sesame Street lore is pretty complex.

saltnotsugar ,

Defense analyst: Okay…something something Great Wall.

saltnotsugar ,

BLOODY ELL

saltnotsugar ,

Photographer: Okay what screams childhood? Hmmm. Pioneer wagon wheel…and MASSIVE cigarettes.

saltnotsugar ,

Blood alone moves the wheels of history! Have you ever asked yourselves in an hour of meditation, which everyone finds during the day, how long we have been striving for greatness?

saltnotsugar ,

Known for posting My Mys of Peep the Toad.

saltnotsugar ,

GPT4, Write a poem about a ball sack that has a mysterious seam on it.

In realms of flesh where mysteries dwell, A ball sack’s tale I’m here to tell, Its surface smooth, yet a seam concealed, A riddle of secrets, soon revealed.

Beneath the skin, a journey untold, Where life’s enigma begins to unfold, A hidden seam, like a whispered song, Invisible threads, where wonders belong.

A vessel of life, in delicate guise, Holds the promise of love in its size, Yet, a seam’s mystery, a cryptic design, In the dance of existence, it intertwines.

Perhaps it’s a mark of life’s creation, A symbol of nature’s artful foundation, Or a reminder that within us, seams run deep, Where mysteries and stories eternally keep.

So, let us ponder this ball sack’s grace, With its hidden seam, a mystical trace, In the human tapestry, where secrets gleam, A testament to life, like a waking dream.

saltnotsugar ,

I think it’s between 1 and 15, depending on factors like how tired, or if his horse girlfriend broke up with him for that dumb old stud.

saltnotsugar ,

Imagine a Special Forces squad just tactically shanking the enemy with halberds as they clear the building.

saltnotsugar ,

Somehow, Queen Elizabeth returned.

NYC police have spent millions on a tech company that claims it can use AI to monitor social media and predict future criminals (www.insider.com)

NYC police have spent millions on a tech company that claims it can use AI to monitor social media and predict future criminals::The New York Police Department paid Voyager Labs more than $8 million in 2018. The company says it uses AI to analyze criminal behavior online.

saltnotsugar ,

“Sir, are these your shitposts?”
Uhhhh….
“Okay sir, these memes will lead to nuclear war, so you will need to become a particular individual in jail.”

saltnotsugar ,

There are some technologies that should remain forbidden…for the safety of all.

saltnotsugar ,

“How did they get root access to the parmesan wheels!?” -Future cheese hacker film

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