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@loops@neurodifferent.me cover
@loops@neurodifferent.me avatar

loops

@[email protected]

I'm an #ActuallyAutistic game programmer. I love design. I'm a particular fan of TTRPGs.

I love to make things, but suffer a big case of new-project-itis. Interests are all over the place.

Not the best at social media, trying to get better at it.

I'm on a journey of (self)discovery, hopefully healing and (self)accommodation.

(avatar from the awesome EFT project - VR Kats by Kazooeybloo https://www.extremelyfungible.com/vr-kats)

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

russellmcormond , to actuallyautistic
@russellmcormond@fosstodon.org avatar

The following article really resonates with me.

Culture Determines What Counts as a Disability
https://mosaicofmindss.substack.com/p/culture-defines-what-is-a-disability

@actuallyautistic

loops ,
@loops@neurodifferent.me avatar

@russellmcormond the social model of disability really frames this well for me; it's not just a reduced capability in some socially desirable activity / skill etc. - but a lack of support for that reduced ability in the built environment, because the built environment is a product of the society that built it, and, as such, anything not considered part of "socially acceptable ability variation" isn't designed into the fabric of the environment, often requiring specific accommodations in individual circumstances.

This is an excellent article about it all, and it frames things in ways that I know I know, but haven't worded good until now. Thanks for sharing 😊

@actuallyautistic

magicalgrrrl , to random
@magicalgrrrl@neurodifferent.me avatar

community!

How do I make friends as an adult? I'm new to my area and don't have any local friends or community. Have been struggling with loneliness a lot lately.

loops ,
@loops@neurodifferent.me avatar

@solarisfire @magicalgrrrl @actuallyautistic honestly I'd love almost the opposite of that. I'm not very comfortable just going to do an activity with strangers. I'd much rather meet people with a common interest in an activity in a social context for such people, befriend them if that goes well, then do the activity with my new friends.

Ofc I'm open to making friends of any kind, but if we lack things in common, we won't have much to talk about 😅

loops , to actuallyadhd
@loops@neurodifferent.me avatar

Today's impostor thoughts: "maybe I am doing it for meds, or attention, something like that"

Yesterday morning's : Spilling my meds all over the floor because I couldn't get the patience / motor control right and split the pill, and then while picking it all up, forgetting the cupboard where the meds go was open when I stood up full force, whacking myself right in the temple

@neurodivergents @actuallyadhd

loops , to actuallyautistic
@loops@neurodifferent.me avatar

I went out today and I never should have.

There were too many people and not enough breaks in the crowd and everything was happening everywhere and I couldn't think or process or make decisions and my skin was tingling and

I didn't have a great day 😅

But I made it home and had naptime on my couch with my plushie and also a hot drink

I think I was overstimulated? Anxious? I'm not good at identifying emotions. I think I narrowly avoided a full, external meltdown

@actuallyautistic @neurodivergents

loops , to actuallyadhd
@loops@neurodifferent.me avatar

@actuallyadhd I've mentioned before my dissatisfaction with apps created for , and I realised why today:

Most ADHD tools are trying to increase something or another - never trying to help you manage from the current position. If there were a tool that could help me take account of what I must do, what I want to do, and how much attention & energy I have available on a given day, that'd be perfect.

I want to start with - then, maybe, work up from a solid baseline

@neurodivergents Is it the same story with tools for other ND things? That they focus more on 'improving' than on working with what you've already got?

loops , to actuallyadhd
@loops@neurodifferent.me avatar

Today's - I was walking down the street, going to get a train to visit a friend.

Thinking about how I always forget things.

Which prompted me to remember that I had forgotten, for the second day in a row, to bring the same item to the same friend

I feel like this one is on my

@neurodivergents @actuallyadhd

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

How do my comrades measure their level of dysregulation/ regulation?

@actuallyautistic

loops ,
@loops@neurodifferent.me avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic it's often a pretty external thing - I'm also very impulsive and have poor interoception, so often it's a retroactive realisation

My mum said when I was younger, that it's when I stop complaining that you gotta watch out for - I think that's a clear sign I'm no longer able to process

loops ,
@loops@neurodifferent.me avatar

@apicultor @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic I interpreted the question as about how we know when we are regulated, becoming dysregulated, close to dysregulated and fully dysregulated, rather than a quantitative number on a scale.

For my part, knowing these things helps me know when I can assess my situation and change it or move so that I don't become more dysregulated.

loops , to actuallyadhd
@loops@neurodifferent.me avatar

Sometimes I experience imposter syndrome, then I realise that most of my clothes are on my bed, and all the nicknacks from all my drawers on the floor, and I'm reorganising everything...

Because I need to hoover / vacuum.

Trust me, it makes sense... somehow 😅

It's odd how the imposter syndrome is almost always followed by something like this that's really illustrates it for me 🤣

@actuallyadhd @neurodivergents

loops OP ,
@loops@neurodifferent.me avatar

@actuallyadhd @neurodivergents floor cleaning update: currently picking up a package, then break for lunch 🙃

housepanther , to actuallyautistic
@housepanther@masto.goblackcat.net avatar

@actuallyautistic The anger in me wants to start a fight when I go back to work in one week for one week at my old agency. I just want to tell my current manager the unvarnished truth about how much she sucks as a manager. The fact that I am going to have to put on an extra thick mask is going to lead me to exhaustion next week.

I just want to tell her to go fuck herself but that wouldn't be wise. As much as it chaps my ass, I am going to go in, be civil, and polite. She's going to pretend like she cares that I am doing better mentally and I am going to pretend to care about doing some work for her.

I am too old to do this childish game of pretend. I am entirely too old for it. Why must we have politics in the workplace? Why is it asking too much to be left alone? I just want my task(s) assigned to me and then to be left the fuck alone to get them done.

loops ,
@loops@neurodifferent.me avatar

@housepanther @bughuntercat @actuallyautistic I think it's important to keep in mind that not everyone has that ability to work by themselves, as it's often touted as a great solution for neurodivergent folks 😅

loops , to actuallyautistic
@loops@neurodifferent.me avatar

Hey neurodivergent friends - we've got a lot of good places to discuss across fedi and I've been thinking that we don't always have a place the share with each other across groups for specific conditions. Maybe there is and I just haven't found it yet 😅

At any rate, I made a group for us: @neurodivergents

I like that they have basic moderation, which can help conversations. I'm not trying to impose my own will on anyone, and I envision it as a self-governing community group

(groups / tags follow, non-exhaustive)

@actuallyautistic, @actuallyadhd, @actuallyautistics, @autisticadvocacy

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