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@janetlogan@mas.to cover
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

janetlogan

@[email protected]

I am a #transgender (#trans) woman, a demisexual lesbian, and a #Pagan. I am loving and giving. I am a caretaker type, who often fails miserably at self care.

Follow requests are precautionary. Feel free to follow.

Ask me anything.

#spooniešŸ„„
#ActuallyAutistic :autism:

For more, see pinned posts.

HRT 2011-07-28 šŸ³ļøā€āš§ļø :verifiedtrans:
DOB 1958-07-08

Death before detransition.

https://en.pronouns.page/@janetannelogan

Just me:
https://justmytoots.com/@[email protected]

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

janetlogan , to actuallyautistic
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

Planning on attending another nearby celebration tomorrow afternoon. It's about an hour's drive each way, and runs from noon until 10pm. I'm hopeful that I will have the requisite in order to go the day.

Last time, the crowds didn't overwhelm me, which I was pleased by. I assume that had a lot to to do with being around my tribe.

@actuallyautistic @spoonies

AnAutieAtUni , to actuallyautistic
@AnAutieAtUni@beige.party avatar

Autistic confessions:

Hi, Iā€™m 41 and I still donā€™t know what ā€œcongratulationsā€ actually means.

Is there one congratulation?

Is there an ideal number of congratulations?

Where on earth did the phrase come from?

Is there a progratulation?

Andā€¦ why are people congratulating me on my degree before I know if Iā€™ve passed my degree and actually got it?! (They donā€™t refer to congratulating me only on completing my assessments, it seems to be related to the degree as a whole.)

Even though all these things confuse me, you wouldnā€™t know because I have trained myself to say ā€œcongratulationsā€ at appropriate times, socially. It almost, maybe, probably looks like I know what Iā€™m saying! šŸ„·

@actuallyautistic

janetlogan ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

@Jobob

You sent me down a rabbit hole...

'This word came into English from Latin, where it was formed by combining the prefix com-, meaning ā€œwith,ā€ to the root gratulari, meaning ā€œgive thanksā€ or ā€œshow joy.ā€'

https://www.grammarly.com/blog/congratulations-congradulations/

@AnAutieAtUni @actuallyautistic

18+ janetlogan ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

@AnAutieAtUni

I always loved this quote:

ā€œThe problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.ā€

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/694108-the-problem-with-defending-the-purity-of-the-english-language

@Jobob
@actuallyautistic

18+ ashleyspencer , to actuallyautistic
@ashleyspencer@autistics.life avatar

In 2019, every morning for months I ate pop tarts for breakfast when I first got to work.

Then I got sick of them and didnā€™t eat them again for 5 years until last week. Now Iā€™m eating them every day again lol.

Anyone else do that where you eat a same food every day until youā€™re sick of it and donā€™t eat it again until years later?

@actuallyautistic

18+ janetlogan ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

@ashleyspencer

Yes, I do that. It's become a topic of conversation with my housemates as they became aware of it. Much like @pathfinder it's usually breakfast and lunch. I've eaten yogurt for breakfast almost every day since I moved here in February. Lunch is some variation of ramen, a sandwich, or both.

My housemates usually prepare a (healthy and tasty) main meal. I'm not a picky eater. They have dietary requirements, and I go along.

@actuallyautistic

chevalier26 , to actuallyautistic
@chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

What are your thoughts on self-diagnosis being belittled by many in the autistic community?

For clarity, Iā€™m not asking to start a debate, just a genuine discussion. I currently donā€™t have the option to get a diagnosis, but feel fairly confident that the research Iā€™ve done over the past year and a half has been legitimate and credible.

I donā€™t feel comfortable saying that I am definitively autistic, but I am ok with saying Iā€™m ā€œself-suspecting.ā€ @actuallyautistic

janetlogan ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

@chevalier26

I agree completely with @pathfinder on all of this. I am very recent to what is referred to as self-realization or self-diagnosis.

It was only late last year that I started down that path, and I am transgender, female presenting, and almost 66 years of age. I won't seek "official diagnosis" for many of the very reasons Kevin mentioned.

FWIW: My current (trauma) therapist accepted my self-dx declaration, and has never questioned the validity.

@actuallyautistic

janetlogan ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

@chevalier26

I had a few friends suggest that I take some of the tests available online. Embrace Autism is a good source if you care to do so. I took the AQ, RAADS-R, CAT-Q, and Aspie Quiz. I scored high for traits on all of those tests.

https://embrace-autism.com/

@pathfinder @actuallyautistic

janetlogan ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

@pathfinder

"medieval views about what autism is"

Oh yeah. So very true.

@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic

janetlogan ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar
janetlogan ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

@chevalier26

Ah, skin picking. I struggle with not picking at dry cuticles, or minor scabs, etc. šŸ’Æ

@pathfinder @darrellpf @actuallyautistic

JeremyMallin , to actuallyautistic
@JeremyMallin@autistics.life avatar

As someone who is actually autistic, should I use the ActuallyAutistic hashtag every time I talk about autism, or only sometimes, for more serious philosophical posts about autism? Or maybe only for my own personal experiences as someone who is autistic?

What do you do?

@actuallyautistic

janetlogan ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

@JeremyMallin

Personally, I use every time I post something that's relevant to that aspect of my life. Of course, mine is but one opinion. šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļøšŸ’œ

@actuallyautistic

janetlogan , to actuallyautistic
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

Mama Cass Elliot - Different

I'm "different" on a number of axes. And I've come to accept and even celebrate those differences. Who want to be the same as everyone else?

šŸ’œ :blobhug2:

https://youtu.be/i7rAaYFFeZk?si=vIhoQexDu0JFAFjM

@spoonies @actuallyautistic

janetlogan OP ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

@Tooden

Oh it was miserable as a child. I was bullied incessantly. So yeah, that's tough. But at almost 66? I'm well past that "certain age."

@spoonies @actuallyautistic

janetlogan OP ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar
janetlogan OP ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

@Tooden @BernieDoesIt

Agreed. That's why it's called "masking". We hide our true selves out of self-preservation.

@spoonies @actuallyautistic

twan , to actuallyautistic
@twan@mastodon.online avatar

In the middle of me typing an email, my laptop decides it's time to update Outlook... I mean, seriously? And of course it turns out it didn't save the latest edits when I open the draft again after. Now I have to go fishing for that last train of thought I had before the whole thing shut down. Goodie. (Focus, Twan. Focus.)


@actuallyautistic

janetlogan ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

@twan

Oh, I absolutely hate the gall of programmers who just assume their update is more important than what you are doing right this moment. SMH

@actuallyautistic

janetlogan ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

@epl692

Good. That's what I like to hear. Thank you.

@twan @actuallyautistic

scrappedbadnik , to random
@scrappedbadnik@cooltrans.men avatar

I can't bind because of chronic pain, and trans tape isn't holding my tits because it's heavy, I can't do surgery either because it takes more than morphine for me to not suffer, what should I do? I'm lost.

18+ janetlogan ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

@scrappedbadnik

I'm sure you've heard it before, but you asked. Have you tried CBD / medical marijuana? I recently started THC free CBD for my and was quite surprised by the effects.

I can't take opioids (too strong reaction) or NSAIDs (CKD) so I've been sruggling to control . I'm also . I'm a trans woman, so binding isn't a need for me. I hope you get some answers.

@spoonies @actuallyautistic

janetlogan , to actuallyautistic
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

is really acting up today. pain is much higher than normal too. Thanks to the brain fog, I totally spaced on a group session earlier.

@spoonies @actuallyautistic

janetlogan , to actuallyautistic
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

"Just over a month ago, I made a huge change in my life. I did that in order to feel safe again. And to bottom line that: I do absolutely feel safe, and loved, and cared for."

Continued at site.

https://janetannelogan.wordpress.com/2024/03/07/a-month-ago/

@spoonies @actuallyautistic

ImmedicableME , to actuallyautistic
@ImmedicableME@mastodon.online avatar

A month or so ago, my optimistic self said, great, thereā€™s a rare opening in the autistic womenā€™s online support group and paid to sign up for it. Didnā€™t even put it in my calendar. Yesterday I got an email telling me it starts today and itā€™s from 8-9:30 am my time. Gahhhhhhhhh.

So Iā€™m having my pre-social interaction anxiety attack and trying to strategize getting through it. Good times.


@actuallyautistic

janetlogan ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

@ImmedicableME

You got this! šŸ’œ

@actuallyautistic

janetlogan , to actuallyautistic
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar
janetlogan , to actuallyautistic
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

ATL is a huge and busy airport. I've seen maybe 3 masks. Sigh.

It's going to be a long day. Upper back pain has begun. So is flaring.

I'm past security, so I can relax. I'm safe. So why is my brain still in hyper vigilant mode?

@spoonies @actuallyautistic

18+ janetlogan , to actuallyautistic
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

Selfie of the day. I guess it's slowly starting to look a bit better. Still quite a ways to go though.

No, I'm not smiling. I'll smile again when I don't see those bruises, probably.

@spoonies @actuallyautistic

janetlogan , to actuallyautistic
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

I woke up about an hour ago in pain. Took some NyQuil because my sinuses are acting up too. Beginning to feel that starting to make me drowsy. Hasn't really touched the pain yet though. šŸ˜ž

Went ahead and filed my change of address, since I now have a firm travel / relocation date. By the end of the day on 1-Feb, I will no longer be in the same state as her.

@spoonies @actuallyautistic

janetlogan OP ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar
18+ janetlogan , to actuallyautistic
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

I figured it was time for a new photo for those still interested.

@spoonies @actuallyautistic

18+ janetlogan OP ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

@flatchulancelot

Thank you. I believe I have found that place. One of my trans sisters is giving me refuge far away from where this happened. šŸ’œ

The recovery, well, that's ongoing.

@spoonies @actuallyautistic

18+ janetlogan OP ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

I just realized a bit earlier that today is day seven since this happened. I guess spending the large part of the first three days in shock and on pain meds affected my sense of time. šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø

@spoonies @actuallyautistic

18+ janetlogan OP ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

@flatchulancelot

It does indeed. Worth noting, I apparently have a lot of somebodies in my corner. That GFM blew me away.

@spoonies @actuallyautistic

18+ janetlogan , to actuallyautistic
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

Hmm. According to the victim notification service, she's still in jail. Her bond is $100, and no one is willing to bail her out?

Karma's a bitch.

@spoonies @actuallyautistic

janetlogan , to actuallyautistic
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar
18+ janetlogan OP ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

So I discovered another injury I didn't know I had. This afternoon, as much of the head injuries began to hurt less, I noticed that a couple of ribs on my left side were sore.

I took a look, and yep. I have a nice (already beginning to heal) bruise there too. The picture is of that bruise, and isn't in any way lewd.

@spoonies @actuallyautistic

18+ janetlogan OP ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

@Frances_Larina

Yeah, that was my doing. I looked them up and contacted them myself. She has, in the past, worked as a live-in caretaker. I wanted this on record so maybe I'd end up protecting someone else.

@spoonies @actuallyautistic

18+ janetlogan OP ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

@Susan60

It was, I won't lie. And by that photo, they were getting better already.

@spoonies @actuallyautistic

18+ janetlogan OP ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar
18+ vger , to actuallyautistic
@vger@social.daemonlair.org avatar

@actuallyautistic To all the readers: I am starting to dive into the symptoms of being autistic and find myself in many of them (not all, but probably a majority).

My major concern, that I might acutally not be autistic, is that I've found out that I was probably traumatized in a 4-week-long so called "child-rehab" where I was away from my family. I was 6 years old at that time

1/2

18+ janetlogan ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

@vger

"trauma might have intesified those symptoms"

This right here. ā¬†ļø

I also have a history of childhood trauma. The thing to consider is this: A lot of people have a history of trauma. ND people (like our parents) don't understand us, and inflict trauma on us. And even when that's not true, our society isn't built for us, and that's traumatic. Good luck. Hang in there.

@actuallyautistic

18+ janetlogan ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

@NeanderthalPride

"Undiagnosed neurodivergence in childhood in itself causes trauma."
Yes, it absolutely does.

"Personally, I'm losing track of all my traumas."
Me too. As of this past Friday, I added domestic violence survivor to the list.

@vger @actuallyautistic

18+ janetlogan ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

@NeanderthalPride

I'm so sorry. That's horrible. What adults do to children...

I vented, on my blog.

https://janetannelogan.wordpress.com/2024/01/23/domestic-violence/

@vger @actuallyautistic

18+ janetlogan ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

@NeanderthalPride

I will seek counseling after I complete my (in progress) out of state relocation. I know I need that. I have a refuge available to me. My new mantra is "I Will Survive". Thank you to Gloria Gaynor.

@vger @actuallyautistic

18+ janetlogan ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

@NeanderthalPride

I didn't intend to gloss over your experience. I accidentally hit send. I am very sorry you went through that. Yes it is awful. If you read my blog post, you know that I am feeling similar things right now.

@vger @actuallyautistic

18+ janetlogan ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

@NeanderthalPride

Self-care. Yes absolutely. You cannot pour from an empty pitcher. No one has a higher priority right now than me.

@vger @actuallyautistic

18+ janetlogan ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

@NeanderthalPride

One thing that surprised me. I'm having trouble sleeping at night. I wake up after only a few hours, and can't get back to sleep for hours. I assume that's trauma response. Logically, it makes sense. But it surprised me nevertheless.

@vger @actuallyautistic

18+ janetlogan ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

@vger

Thank you. My new mantra is I Will Survive, with thanks to Gloria Gaynor.

And I'm glad my experience was meaningful to you regarding autism and trauma.

@NeanderthalPride @actuallyautistic

janetlogan , to actuallyautistic
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

Weird in the kind of way we need.


@actuallyautistic

janetlogan , to random
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

I've watched the last two Indiana Jones movies today. Crystal Skull and Dial of Destiny. I enjoyed them both, even under the weather. Yes I am feeling poorly.

One of two possibilities. Either I have a cold, which coincidentally began about 12 hours after the RSV vaccine, or I am having side effects from said vaccine.

Honestly, even if it is from the vaccine, I'm still glad I got it. Vaccines are important, especially at my age. And, no, they don't cause .

1/2

janetlogan OP ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

I've had intermittent low grade fever, fatigue, stuffy head, and occasional cough. The fatigue could be , but the rest is definitely not.

I'm treating with generic Alka Seltzer Cold and Flu. That and bed rest. No big plans for are being ruined. Not to worry.

2/2

@spoonies @actuallyautistic

janetlogan , to actuallyautistic
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

Between going out in the cold after only 2 hours of sleep, and the stress of my worrying about the test, my is flaring big time. I'm going to go relax in bed, and try to recover. šŸ’¤

I handled the peopling fairly well. The Lyft driver over there this morning was cute, with great mom energy. Of course, she was the age of my own kids. šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø But she helped me to relax a bit. šŸ’œ

@spoonies @actuallyautistic

janetlogan OP ,
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

I got the results of the CT. No immediate actions required, just keep taking the Lipitor, and get re-scanned every 2 - 4 years.

That's one down. Now on to the arrhythmia and dealing with it. That's the middle of next month. Couple of tests, and a special specialist (electrophysiologist) to visit.

@spoonies @actuallyautistic

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