holyramenempire

nddev , 4 months ago to actuallyautistic

Earlier today, I came out as #ActuallyAutistic to my bosses and our company wellbeing ambassador. I said that discovering my autism had dramatically improved my mental health. I suggested it would be good to improve people's understanding of autism, because we're a software shop and we have quite a few autists, some of whom probably don't know they're autistic (especially if they grew up in the 60s and 70s). I also said I planned to say something brief to my immediate colleagues next week.

Bosses were supportive and enthusiastic. Wellbeing ambassador asked me to contribute something to her company-wide newsletter. That went better than I'd dared to hope!

@actuallyautistic

holyramenempire , 4 months ago

@nddev @actuallyautistic That's grand, I'm so happy for you! I hope you make some good contacts and educate some folks!

sebwhatever , 5 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic #askingautistics #autisticsurveys

What are you most proud of yourself today?

holyramenempire , 5 months ago

@sebwhatever @actuallyautistic OMG, for once I have something really big - I went out for Mardi Gras (outdoors, N95 masked in rideshares with the windows down) and when I got scared, I asked my partner for help. It was much more enjoyable than I could have expected, even if we had to pack it in very early for backache.

undefined_variable , 5 months ago to actuallyautistic

I'm not sure if this is an autistic thing, but I'd bet it might be...

How many of you restart a game when you fail at something in it, even if you didn't have to. Or when you feel like you made a mistake or a wrong choice or whatnot. And I don't mean just loading the last convenient save, but starting anew all the way from the beginning. I do that, a lot, almost with every game (Yes, even casual ones, I restarted the original Life Is Strange I don't know how many times... You can imagine what a chore it was to get through XCOM, which is one of my favorite series). So instead of playing like 20 hours, I spend easily 80 hours going though the game. Provided that I ever actually finish the game.

Now, here's the kicker... Ready for it? Does that apply to other things in your life too? I just realized today, that for me it does. I get into something, something ungood happens, I drop it, get rid of my "save game" (that is, whatever I have acquired, tangible or intangible for said thing), then take it up again some time later, start from an empty table, other than the experience from the previous try, maybe get a bit further, something happens...

I've done it with trivial things, like learning a new skill I don't really need to survive. Today I realized I've been doing it with something fundamental about myself. And oh my that realization sucks. Unlike my game characters, I don't... I can't start a new game with the game world, or myself, in the same state every time, neatly rolled back in time. For me, a month, or a yeah, or a decade has passed. It is very ungood. I wanna restart and try again.

@actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic

holyramenempire , 5 months ago

@undefined_variable
I used to do this a lot, and in retrospect, I believe it was severe and ingrained anxiety and perfectionism. I was told for years as a young person by everyone I cared about that my efforts at seeming non-autistic weren't sufficient, so perfection became my standard for everything.

It wasn't sustainable! I spent years of my life in therapy to get 90% over it, which has given me the room to work on fixing the rest of my life.

Not saying this is your situation (only you know your situation), but maybe someone will see themselves in my post and something will click. :)
@actuallyautistic

fulanigirl , 5 months ago to blackmastodon

#politics #trump #fascism #BlackMastodon #BlackTwitter @blackmastodon
Can you participate in a thought experiment with me? The posts warning about fascism are good, but I'm wondering what you think fascism actually looks like. Give a thought, and list what it looks like. Don't just say "the end of democracy." List what the concrete changes will be and make it local. "In my town/city/county/state the following will happen......" Think about it before replying. Not just for #BlackMastodon .

holyramenempire , 5 months ago

@fulanigirl
I will be considered a non-citizen because of where I was born. The fascists are big on ending most of the ways people gain citizenship.

Additionally, they're actively trying to exterminate trans people already. My state is "high risk" for us, although my city is fairly protective. They're doing that via gerrymandered and lying "democracy", so I'd hate to see what they'd do without even those constraints.

@blackmastodon

Dr_Obvious , 5 months ago to actuallyautistic German

@actuallyautistic
I want to try out some kind of meditation to better deal with things that go into direction of anxiety/phobia.

Many people here mentioned that they are doing it and my therapist mentioned that there is good evidence for some methods which are not esoterical and are proven to help with that like MBSR.

Someone here recently highlighted waking up. But before I try that out I am curious whether you have recommendations for self paced tutorials.

holyramenempire , 5 months ago

@Dr_Obvious I use Medito, which is fully free (an app). The big thing, I think, is that if one technique, app, guide, habit, etc. doesn't work, continuing to try is important. The trying and the routine are what make meditation "work" for people, everything else is just to make it easier for you to keep trying.

@actuallyautistic

rebekka_m , 5 months ago to actuallyadhd

For people that are not @actuallyadhd the common medication feels different that for those who are #actuallyADHD - non ADHDers feel like on Coke, very energetic and highly vibrant, similar to using Speed, while ADHDers tend to get calm and focused, able to concentrate at all.

Question [I haven't googled yet]: What is it with antidepressants - if people without a depression take those, do they feel LOTS happier than ever or something different?

Or do you know sth. about this, @actuallyautistic?

holyramenempire , 5 months ago

@rebekka_m
My experience has been that people without depression will get sick and feel weird on SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors), if anything. But a lot of people with depression have the same outcomes, too! And doctors do prescribe SSRIs off-label for other problems, even non-psychiatric problems. So I'm not sure if it's possible to get a definite answer on this one, but I hope to find out more from answers to your post.

https://www.unsw.edu.au/news/2019/03/what-antidepressants-can-do-to-a-brain-that-is-not-depressed
@actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic

EmilyMoranBarwick , 5 months ago to actuallyautistic

To my fellow #Autistic #ADHD #AuDHD or otherwise #neurodivergent folks…

I would appreciate any tips on how to use Mastodon without it causing overwhelm/getting lost in it.

🧠My blend of #neurodivergence has a REAL hard time with this kind of platform (never got Twitter either), but I’m drawn to the community & connection here.

I’m like instantly a confounded 105-year-old when it comes to Mastodon/Twitter 🙃

Ps - I’ve seen @actuallyautistic but not clear how that even works

holyramenempire , 5 months ago

@EmilyMoranBarwick
If you don't mind, I'm going to tag #FediTips and #FediHelp here, so that volunteers who follow those hashtags will see your post.

If I understand you correctly, you'd like a really simple, basic explanation to begin with, because you also weren't very familiar with Twitter? And it needs to be autism/ADHD friendly?
@actuallyautistic

independentpen , 6 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic A lot of people on here talk about meltdowns as a regular, visible thing. I know we're all different, but this is so far from my experience I started feeling a little impostery. I have had melts before, ie I've completely lost control and either: fled to save myself and others from me, or sort of left my body like a blackout (while still walking/talking) ... 1/

holyramenempire , 6 months ago

@independentpen I describe that as shutdown, sort of a protective state when a meltdown CANNOT happen (e.g. I'll lose my job, there are police nearby, etc.)
@actuallyautistic

seanwithwords , 6 months ago to actuallyautistic

I have a question for my @actuallyautistic friends...

is the constant internal dialogue a function of Autism's "bottom-up" processing, or a function of shame-based masking?

I'm wondering if I'll ever be able to just act or speak without that layer. should I be trying to act/speak thru the layer of dialogue or should I just let it happen & be less anxious about it?

I guess I'm wondering if it comes from my masking coping strategies or if it's more ingrained and unavoidable
#ActuallyAutistic

holyramenempire , 6 months ago

@seanwithwords @btaroli @actuallyautistic

The way I've stopped beating myself up about masking 24/7 is by realizing that I've been through a LOT in the last few years and now am targeted for destruction by the state (I'm trans). My "authentic self" is a sobbing, gibbering wreck by now, WITH GOOD REASON!

I can't be a shambling husk in public, so masking it is. I don't know if this helps anyone else, but it's helped me :)

poloniousmonk , 7 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic

Does anyone else drink a lot? Not booze, just fluids. For someone who barely feels hunger or discomfort, I'm always drinking and pissing. I've always assumed it was something medical and undiagnosed, but maybe it's an autist thing. Thoughts?

18+ holyramenempire , 7 months ago

@poloniousmonk @actuallyautistic I don't want to worry you, but I have a pituitary tumor, and the first symptom was diabetes insipidus (not related to blood sugar - it just means you drink a lot, are thirsty a lot, and pee a lot).

I specifically mean "I don't want to worry you"! A lot of people have completely harmless pituitary tumors*, or ones like mine where the only symptom is an inconvenience. I take a pill three times a day (desmopressin, also called DDAVP) and it's not a big deal. My body temperature/sweat/thirst levels can be a bit wonky when it's really hot or humid.

*"incidentalomas"! they just see them randomly at autopsies of perfectly healthy people.

18+ holyramenempire , 7 months ago

@KatLS @poloniousmonk @actuallyautistic That's so scary, and I'm sorry that your friend was misdiagnosed! I spent 19 years fighting for a really obvious autoimmune diagnosis, and am getting treated better now.

sahat , 7 months ago to actuallyautistic

dear fellow neurodivergents
I am a bit troubled by all the anxiety- laden posts from people, who fear the holidays as a time, where their boundaries will be overstepped, resulting in stress with all kinds of negative mental emotional and physical consequences.
Do enforce your healthy boundaries. It's self love as well as survival. If your family and friends don't support you doing this, run for the hills.

If we don't take our human rights as neurodifferent people seriously , then who will? If we don't know what is good for us, then who will? If we don't create social inclusion, than who will?
Just saying. I'm the mum of one such person who is able to suffer a lot, wanting to be included and is learning how to accommodate himself and his nervous system, understanding that boudnaries are a matter of survival for the hyperempath. And I am one such person myself. So I have two different angles on it. Don't allow tradition or want for closeness to crash your boundaries.The double bind of being alone while keeping them intact or being "included" while suffering, must be broken. By us.
I would like for there to be many proud and self- caring autistics that show the world the exact and true profile of what inclusion really looks like and where it begins.
I know it's most difficult with family. But it's also extremely rewarding, to at least tackle this. Just bear with me, I couldn't suppress the mother-duck instinct. There was pain seeping out of the posts I have been reading. Don't accept anything that puts you into such a state.
Just don't. It's not necessary. Question it. If you do this, you will also help the whole social unit progress in their understanding.
@actuallyautistic

holyramenempire , 7 months ago

@sahat @actuallyautistic "If your family and friends don't support you doing this, run for the hills."

Yes, indeed!

magicalgrrrl , 7 months ago to random

#ActuallyAutistic community!

How do I make friends as an adult? I'm new to my area and don't have any local friends or community. Have been struggling with loneliness a lot lately.

holyramenempire , 7 months ago

@magicalgrrrl I guess my first question is "What kind of disasters are you facing?"

I think that'll really change how I think about this one.

@actuallyautistic

theautisticcoach , 8 months ago to actuallyautistic

What’s been the most important thing you’ve learned about yourself during your #ActuallyAutistic journey?

#AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic

holyramenempire , 8 months ago

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic That I knew what was best for me, all along!

Sci_Fi_FanGirl , 8 months ago to actuallyautistic German

Can anyone relate?

Usually, I'm very self-conscious. But it happens from time to time, that I'm in a state of (work) flow and feel rather good about myself. Then, I'm more likely to engage in various conversations. Because I feel good, I might overshare, give advice, over-estimate my abilities or be silly. Consequently, I feel ashamed about my "outburst" and wish to never see any of them ever again. (Repeat cycle)

@actuallyautistic

holyramenempire , 8 months ago

@Sci_Fi_FanGirl @actuallyautistic That's me, online and offline. Being myself - an outgoing entertainer and people-person, a natural leader - is deeply embarrassing to me. I only rarely have the energy for it, because I hate cleaning up the emotional wreckage afterwards as I over-scrutinize every second of my brief extroverted behavior.