hauchvonstaub

sebwhatever , 4 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic #askingautistics #music

What are your #top5 favorite bands/singers/rappers right now?

Mine in no particular order:

• Can
• Unknown Mortal Orchestra
• The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
• Tom Waits
• David Byrne

hauchvonstaub , 4 months ago

@sebwhatever

Currently I mostly either listen to chillwave playlists, mostly without looking at the song names or video game soundtracks.
I couldn't come up with a top 5 of what I'm listening to right now, but also couldn't reduce musicians I generally listen to to a top 5.
So some of the ones I still like to listen to from time to time are:

• Melos Han-Tani
  -Nada Surf
  -Krosia
  -Carpenter Brut

@actuallyautistic

hauchvonstaub , 4 months ago

@sebwhatever

I had to look that up.
I probably don't know the full lyrics to any of their songs and the most I've listened to an individual song from them is probably 5-15 times.
They're a band I've only discovered, because I liked a song while I was high and it had the same name as one of their songs.
(The name is Ice Box, one from Omraion, but I was probably 14 back then and older than 20, when I looked up the song)

@actuallyautistic

18+ PossiblyAutistic , 5 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic

Recently on LinkedIn, a post by an ABA "therapist" got swept into my timeline. It was basically about ABA people (not) supporting one another. I mentioned the critique on ABA.

A was there is good ABA, which does not force allistic norms, understands stimming, prioritizes regulation, acknowledges different communication modalities, minimizes intervention hours, "whenever possible, the learner gets to make the choices about targets"

Is there such a thing as "good ABA"?

18+ hauchvonstaub , 5 months ago

@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic No there isn't.
People who promote "good ABA" always suspiciously talk around what it is from what I've seen, so they're aware, they have something to hide.
It's like listening to bad politicians.

undefined_variable , 5 months ago to actuallyautistic

I'm not sure if this is an autistic thing, but I'd bet it might be...

How many of you restart a game when you fail at something in it, even if you didn't have to. Or when you feel like you made a mistake or a wrong choice or whatnot. And I don't mean just loading the last convenient save, but starting anew all the way from the beginning. I do that, a lot, almost with every game (Yes, even casual ones, I restarted the original Life Is Strange I don't know how many times... You can imagine what a chore it was to get through XCOM, which is one of my favorite series). So instead of playing like 20 hours, I spend easily 80 hours going though the game. Provided that I ever actually finish the game.

Now, here's the kicker... Ready for it? Does that apply to other things in your life too? I just realized today, that for me it does. I get into something, something ungood happens, I drop it, get rid of my "save game" (that is, whatever I have acquired, tangible or intangible for said thing), then take it up again some time later, start from an empty table, other than the experience from the previous try, maybe get a bit further, something happens...

I've done it with trivial things, like learning a new skill I don't really need to survive. Today I realized I've been doing it with something fundamental about myself. And oh my that realization sucks. Unlike my game characters, I don't... I can't start a new game with the game world, or myself, in the same state every time, neatly rolled back in time. For me, a month, or a yeah, or a decade has passed. It is very ungood. I wanna restart and try again.

@actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic

hauchvonstaub , 5 months ago

@undefined_variable @actuallyautistic I used to do it less, when I was younger, back then I just went with what happened in a game, because progress felt more valuable.
Even if I could have just restarted a game and made the same progress in a short time, it felt like it could take the same amount of time, as during the first playthrough(not just in hours played, but in days since I started the game, including days I didn't even play).
I was also less perfectionist with games.

hauchvonstaub , 5 months ago

@undefined_variable @actuallyautistic Today this is different and I regularly restart games.
It's like a savegame doesn't feel worth finishing.
I think it took me about 2 months to finish Fallout New Vegas, because I restarted it multiple times.
This can even go as far as not feeling motivated to keep on playing, because I don't feel like I want to finish this savegame anyway, so why even keep playing.

hauchvonstaub , 5 months ago

@undefined_variable @actuallyautistic ... and I would definitely "restart" my life, if that was an option, even with all the bad things that happened in my childhood.

hauchvonstaub , 5 months ago

@undefined_variable @actuallyautistic The survival mode is buggy, if the values wouldn't sometimes go up, when you load the game, you would barely need to eat, drink or sleep, compared to other survival games.

I used to mainly play rogue likes for years, every game is a restart and there is never much progress to be lost.
I probably have 2000-3000 hours in Spelunky alone.

PossiblyAutistic , 5 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic How much of a thing is "friendzoning" with neurodivergents?

hauchvonstaub , 5 months ago

@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic I think, if "friendzone" is defined as the other person actually being aware, and purposefully keeping them "on the hook", friendzones are probably not that common.
I was once in the position, of a girl being interested in me and after I found out, I broke off contact with her.
Before that I actually thought she just wanted to be friends.
I suspect a lot of cases of "friendzone" are similar, with one person not being fully aware.

hauchvonstaub , 5 months ago

@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic I used to spend a lot of time on a website(that I won't name), where incels used to be a small minority that was mocked and turned became a large part of the users at some point.
A lot of them complained about being friendzoned, or at least were very convinced, that it's a very big problem nowadays and I'm pretty sure, the ones that experienced "the friendzone" didn't actually reach the point, where they could have been rejected, or were still friends.

rebekka_m , 5 months ago to actuallyadhd

For people that are not @actuallyadhd the common medication feels different that for those who are #actuallyADHD - non ADHDers feel like on Coke, very energetic and highly vibrant, similar to using Speed, while ADHDers tend to get calm and focused, able to concentrate at all.

Question [I haven't googled yet]: What is it with antidepressants - if people without a depression take those, do they feel LOTS happier than ever or something different?

Or do you know sth. about this, @actuallyautistic?

hauchvonstaub , 5 months ago

@rebekka_m @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic Antidepressants can also work as dopamin antagonists, so they can do the opposite of make you feel happier.
I've read, that the effect shouldn't be that strong, even if you have ADHD, but when I took paroxetin, I felt like I couldn't enjoy anything anymore, which made me constantly crave for pleasure, without relief.
I took it for over a month and the effect took 3-4 month to fully wear off.
I wasn't depressed or anxious.

hauchvonstaub , 5 months ago

@rebekka_m @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic Trimipramin on the other hand actually improves my mood, and makes me feel a bit "like a child on christmas eve", when I dose it low enough.

People react differently to drugs, so you can't really predict the effect they're going to have on any individual person.

18+ hauchvonstaub , 5 months ago

@rebekka_m @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic I can't remember any withdrawal symptoms, just the regular effect of the drug not wearing off.
It did make me "emotionally numb", no fear, I didn't really care about anything, but I was also aggressive.(so it did flatten my affect)
It also suppressed empathy.
It would be long and complex to describe what paroxetine did, but it was generally unpleasant and I can understand, why one of the potential side effects is suicide.

FrightenedRat , 5 months ago to actuallyautistic

Anyone else sometimes merge the concepts of 2 famous people into 1 - so that when you are confronted with the fact that these 2 people (with different names & histories) are indeed different, you are so shocked it's hard to take in?

Eg I merged Al Pacino & Dustin Hoffman into 1 idea accessed via 2 names. But they are different!!! 🤯

I do this a lot & with other types of entity too e.g. 2 supermarket chains with different names & logos got merged.

Bizarre.

@actuallyautistic
#ActuallyAutistic

hauchvonstaub , 5 months ago

@FrightenedRat @actuallyautistic For me I would describe it as 2 people sharing one category in my brain, while most people get their own category.
Those people don't even need to have much in common, but they share a context.

hauchvonstaub , 5 months ago

@FrightenedRat @actuallyautistic I did manage to "seperate" people in my head, but there is usually still a connection.
So it's no longer like they feel like the same person, but one always reminds me of the other.
In one case it even feels like they're disconnected by now, which are vin disel and jason statham.

PurpleStephyr , 5 months ago to actuallyautistic

When you brush your teeth, do you count out a specific number of brushes for each section? I divide my teeth into 18 sections (combinations of left/center/right, top/bottom, front/top/back), and brush each section 12 times.

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

hauchvonstaub , 5 months ago

@PurpleStephyr @actuallyautistic No, I brush them the same way everyday, without thinking about it.
It's almost completely automated, so even when I don't feel like brushing my teeth, or need to hurry, I end up brushing them the same way as always, if I don't stop myself and actively think about what I'm doing.