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@TeacherGriff@mastodon.coffee cover
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TeacherGriff

@[email protected]

✡♿️🏳️‍🌈🇺🇦🎸 he/him

I'm #progressive, #Jewish, #queer, male, white, a parent, #disabled, & educated, & I vote. I block trumpsters & gun nuts, and I use mute and block to prevent flame wars.

Other hobbies/interests: #guitar #keto #paleo #folkmusic #spoonie #cats #liberal #politics #urbanfantasy #teaching #writing #highered #education #pedagogy #rubikscube #puzzles #music #heraldry #renfaire #sci-fi #fantasy #mystery #horror #callahans #ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #GenX #NoOnPFL

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ScottSoCal , to actuallyautistic
@ScottSoCal@computerfairi.es avatar

@actuallyautistic

A question, for anyone who wants to answer, about trust.

If someone breaks your trust in a fundamental way, can you "get over it" and trust them again?
I have a situation where I'm being told I need to get over it, and I think I have - I'm no longer angry. But trust them again? Put myself in a situation where I could be hurt by them again? No. I've never done that before, why should I start now?

And is this a me thing, or an autism thing?

TeacherGriff ,
@TeacherGriff@mastodon.coffee avatar

@ScottSoCal @actuallyautistic

Autistic here, and no. You get one chance with me. Breach my trust, and you never get to be part of my life again.

ChrisMayLA6 , to bookstodon
@ChrisMayLA6@zirk.us avatar

I sometimes thought my father thought he could't die while he still had books on his pending pile (a stab at immortality I seem to be replicating)... so, it was strangely touching to see Tom Gauld has had similar thoughts.

@bookstodon

TeacherGriff ,
@TeacherGriff@mastodon.coffee avatar

@ChrisMayLA6 @bookstodon I may not be immortal, but my TBR pile absolutely is.

JeremyMallin , to actuallyautistic
@JeremyMallin@autistics.life avatar

How many fellow Autistics have never lied on a job application, never lied on a CV, never lied on tax forms? 🙋‍♂️

Is doing that expected? Is it required? Is not doing that handicapping us? Do you too feel almost unable to do that?



@actuallyautistic

TeacherGriff ,
@TeacherGriff@mastodon.coffee avatar

@JeremyMallin @actuallyautistic not only am I unable to lie, I look down on anyone who does. To me, lying is one of the worst things a person can do.

seanwithwords , to actuallyautistic

Late-identified people, I'd love to hear what your meltdowns look like.

I feel like much of my time is spent with disregulated body sensations. I often feel an urge to DO something but I get so twisted up in executive function indecision-making + ableist shame/judgement about looking "wrong," and with 5 decades of "moving with the sole purpose of not being noticed," that I only melt down on the inside.

@actuallyautistic

TeacherGriff ,
@TeacherGriff@mastodon.coffee avatar

@seanwithwords @actuallyautistic

I wrote a piece for my autism blog about this a few years ago:

https://autcommblog.wordpress.com/2019/08/22/what-a-meltdown-feels-like/

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

How did my comrades understand that they're autistic?

How old were you?

@actuallyautistic

TeacherGriff ,
@TeacherGriff@mastodon.coffee avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic

29 when an acquaintance linked me to the DSM; 47 when I got my official DX.

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Someone who REGULARLY attends my free support group for adults cancelled their attendance citing that “I don’t take advice or consul from Jews who murder children, you’re probably not even autistic anyway”.

If you feel the same, feel free not to attend 🙏🏼

@actuallyautistic

TeacherGriff ,
@TeacherGriff@mastodon.coffee avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic That should not have happened to you. Shame on that person. They need to remove their head from their posterior.

samiam , to actuallyautistic
@samiam@lor.sh avatar

@actuallyautistic so many thanks to those who have made feel feel heard and welcome here in the past weeks. the story thus far: 41 years of "muddling thru" depression, anxiety, misc mysterious health problems, etc when one day a new friend (very rare!) shared with me that they are autistic, and respectfully asked me if i might be too.
this [re]kindled lots of thoughts and feels and sent me down a path of recognizing and uncovering some fairly autistic-seeming traits and behaviors that i had been ignoring or suppressing. i have lately been thinking of myself as "provisionally autistic" which is how i'm trying to walk this line between, one the one hand, not mentally framing Autism As One True The Explanation For Everything and stretching things to try to force them to fit; and, on the other hand, not giving in to Autistic Imposter Syndrome. i want "provisionally autistic" to be a comfortable in-between place where i can "let myself be as autistic as i am" without "trying to be autistic when i'm not" and just observe myself and see how it goes. if that makes any sense?

but (and this is a question mainly to all you late/recent adult [self/]dx folks out there, but of course also anyone else who wants to respond):
How do you KNOW?
i'm stuck in this place where lots of things seem relatable and plausible but there is no sense of AHA IT FITS. there's no THIS FINALLY EXPLAINS IT. i know it's early for me yet -- i've been taking this seriously for weeks not years -- and i probably have to be patient with myself . . . but ggghhhghg.
maybe i'm just venting? i don't know. i'm having a day.

TeacherGriff ,
@TeacherGriff@mastodon.coffee avatar

@samiam @actuallyautistic so, I hate probability. I hate not having an absolute yes or no. I want a definitive answer, and I can’t get it. So I had to get good with the idea that if something looks probable, or likely, then it’s probably what’s going on. Building on that point, I’ll suggest that if most of what you’re finding seems to say you’re autistic, then you’re probably autistic. I also remember seeing someone say, “if you’re worrying about being autistic, then you are.”

TeacherGriff ,
@TeacherGriff@mastodon.coffee avatar

@A_Chilean_Cyborg @ValueSubtracted You might be interested in Ursula K. LeGuin’s book THE DISPOSSESSED. In one scene, the character from the anarchist planet explains to a character from the capitalist planet how they get people to do the dirty or dangerous jobs.

AutisticAdam , to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

Autistic people are often criticised for “reading too much into things” and “assuming” the worst, but usually what we deduce is highly accurate, thanks to our pattern-spotting and dot-connecting abilities. I think the real issue is we typically unearth truths others want to remain hidden.

@actuallyautistic

TeacherGriff ,
@TeacherGriff@mastodon.coffee avatar

@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic It’s not even that we want to. It’s that we don’t have a choice about unearthing them, because they’re so bloody obvious to us, and it’s impossible to believe that other people don’t see it too.

TeacherGriff ,
@TeacherGriff@mastodon.coffee avatar

@masukomi @simid @Laberpferd @fictionalbutnot @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic

When you look at what motivates them to do this, it always seems to boil down to their precious social hierarchies. I say "precious" both in the "extremely valuable to them" sense and in the condescending "oh, isn't that cute" sense, here.

This is one of my main problems with NTs. They seem to be absolutely unable to parse that hierarchies are a fantasy they made up, and that facts will always be more important.

TeacherGriff , (edited )
@TeacherGriff@mastodon.coffee avatar

@samiam @fictionalbutnot @Laberpferd @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic

That's sad. How do we fix them? Because obviously they're damaged and broken if they see the world that way, and we have to help them override their basic understanding of themselves so they can be free the way we are. (Heavy sarcasm - but this is exactly how they react when told that all that stuff is nonsense to most of us autists, and try to force us to value things that have no value, like hierarchy and group conformity.)

rabbit_fighter , to bookstodon
@rabbit_fighter@mastodon.world avatar

@bookstodon I'm looking for book recommendations for an 11yo who reads at a much more advanced level. He likes sci-fi. He has read the Hitchhiker's Guide series and loved them. I think he would enjoy some more 'hard' sci-fi as well. He needs something challenging but without subject matter that is too mature. Thanks for any help!

TeacherGriff ,
@TeacherGriff@mastodon.coffee avatar

@rabbit_fighter @bookstodon

Madeline L'Engle's Wrinkle in Time and its sequels.

hosford42 , to actuallyautistic
@hosford42@techhub.social avatar

I'm . The sound of the train blowing its horn as it passes my house makes me cover my ears in pain. But the throbbing bass of the engine that causes a deep pressure in my chest from the vibration makes me feel happy.

When I was a kid, I used to crank up the bass of my parents' stereo and sit directly against the woofer to feel that pressure. They would always yell at me to turn it down. I've always loved that feeling.


@actuallyautistic
@neurodiversity

TeacherGriff ,
@TeacherGriff@mastodon.coffee avatar

@ScottSoCal @hosford42 @FrightenedRat @estellechauvelin @johnettesnuggs @Tooden @actuallyautistic @neurodiversity

Sounds too familiar. A tool that worked for me and has for years was taken away and replaced with a cheaper, prettier, substandard tool that won't do at least six things I need it to do. And of course, this is my problem, not theirs.

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