HeatherMJ

Tim_McTuffty , 4 months ago to actuallyautistic

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 132 , Friday 08/03/2024

TL:DR Walking is on the way to becoming a daily thing. I realised today that folks I have told about being ASD are avoiding me !

Overslept this morning , managed to catch herself in passing as she left the house to go to the office.
Is it the sign of a healthy relationship that we see each other for about 3 hours a day, even when she’s working from home.

Went for a walk again today - got a new ‘short’ route to go fwd with. At 2.5km - about 4500 steps - it’s not dead long but there is a mix of terrain & some steep bits so it’s not a bad route at all. It should be fairly picturesque in the right conditions (so long as I look away from the new new housing estate! )

I have discovered something disconcerting, not upsetting per-se but defo disconcerting.
With the exception of the lovely Peeps on Mastodon, most of the older people I have told about my ASD have not been in touch since I told them.

I know a number of people on here are actively resisting assessment because of the fear of stigmatism but that has never been a problem for me (& still isn’t ). I am surprised at the fact that (in the case of my Uncle & Aunt & my Dad) folks that have known me literally all my life now want even less to do with me than they did before.

I’m a loner, always have been (with the exception of herself) , so never been that close to my family , certainly not since I moved away from my parents, but to not hear from any of the seniors (or indeed my friend across the road , who I told a few weeks ago) is, as I say, disconcerting.

Despite others reactions I am steadfast in my resolve to get a proper diagnostic assessment ,I NEED to know . Bollocks to what others think. If they think that I am suddenly different because I know why I am the way I am then that is on them!

Watched ‘The Godfather’ for the very first time (yes I know ! ) I can see why it is something of a cult movie.
Got Parts 2 & 3 on my movie radar.

Managed to squeeze in an hour or so of NMS in, wanted to finish Phase 2 of the rerun of Omega but got distracted , so I now have objectives in every phase complete , but only phase 1 completely finished.

Watching ‘Silent Witness’ with the help of a couple of pints of cider & a pizza.

Final Thoughts:

We like to think that 2024 western civilisation has reached the point where things like mental health stigmatisation are in the past. Sadly this is not the case.

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #TheMammutMoves

HeatherMJ , 4 months ago

@Tim_McTuffty @actuallyautistic
🫂 x

Tim_McTuffty , 4 months ago to actuallyautistic

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 113 , Sunday 18/02/2024

TL:DR ESO, shopping, my heart is still broken - but it is healing slowly!

Just realised that I’m failing to record the 12 hours or so overnight … my Nuggan you must all be holding your collective breath wondering what happens in those mysterious ‘lost hours’

So last night - ESO till about 10pm then read for an hour then slept like a baby, although I woke up hot n sweaty so I wonder what I got up to last night ?

Up around 7am this morning , chatted with @pixy for a while then breakfast.

My bestie was feeling well enough for us to polish off some more of the NMS Omega expedition this morning which was super enjoyable!

Went on a much delayed Costco run around 11am, it was busy but not stupidly so so the actual shopping experience was not too bad.
The exertion caused me to be breathless & dizzy, but the pain saved itself for when I had to put the shopping away when we got home. Mrs ‘leave it to me’ left the stuff neatly stacked on the floor below the cupboards where they actually live ! I truly wish I could trust her to do stuff , rather than ½ doing it - I hate being the responsible adult all the time, it really isn’t in my makeup !

I had to rest this afternoon , so we binge watched ‘The Reunion’ .

I totally failed on the resisting temptation front & ended up having Scampi & chips from our favourite takeaway. In my defence there was a decent side salad with it so it practically healthy !
I’m wondering whether I can class cider as a health drink - it’s made of apples after all !

Final Thoughts.

Ok totally bored with health issues at the moment, I know that these are simply the weeds growing from seeds sown over a life time , but even so!
I often wonder what life would have been like without the depression & ASD tripping me up at every turn.

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #TheMammutMoves

HeatherMJ , 4 months ago

@Tim_McTuffty @actuallyautistic @PlaystationPixy
I had a pacemaker check last week. I'm pleased to say my battery has another 2½ years left 😃

Tim_McTuffty , 5 months ago to actuallyautistic

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 105 , Saturday 10/02/2024

TL:DR Gamin, relaxin , pizzerin & moviein. Yeah I know I made the last 2 up 😆

Yay for Saturdays , feeling better & stronger every day, although the chest pains & dizzy spells let me know when I’m in danger of pushing too hard again!

Got an hour or so playing co-op with CDP 🧚‍♀️ , which was great 😊

Quiet afternoon then a couple of movies over a pizza.

Final Thoughts.

Saturdays are good for the soul 😊

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #TheMammutMoves

HeatherMJ , 5 months ago

@Tim_McTuffty @actuallyautistic
Good to hear that it sounds as though you're on the mend

Tim_McTuffty , 5 months ago to actuallyautistic

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 83 Friday 19/01/24

TL:DR Ups & downs.

So today was a reasonable day , up at 5 after nearly 7 hours of sleep.

Had a chat with my Bestie & then did chores & ticked off a couple of things that I have kept putting off.

I’m hoping to get up in the loft tomorrow & de-install the extractor fan so I can give it a good clean , a task originally scheduled for the beginning of December last year !

Got some EOS co-op time this afternoon, it has to be said I’m pretty poor at it, it seems. I am too enthusiastic & tend to forget that others are with me.

I often wonder why folks bother with me, I’m fat, inactive & anti social. I have so many MH issues one could fill a book with the acronyms !

I often wonder , if I were free, if anyone would fall for the person I am now. There truly isn’t much to recommend me - I think me n herself stay together out of habit, we share little in common, & I am more a parasite than a symbiont these days .

Hey ho, it is what it is, we march forward because there is no going back !

Final Thoughts.

I’m not sure why my mood has dropped so suddenly, it has not been a bad day, but sometimes I struggle to keep my dislike of myself under wraps & self doubt creeps in along with everything else.

A massive thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #TheMammutMoves

HeatherMJ , 5 months ago

@Tim_McTuffty @actuallyautistic
Why wouldn't someone fall for you? You come across as warm, compassionate, kind, and humorous. Be kind to yourself. Have a good night