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BZBrainz , to bookstodon
@BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

✅ Are you an adult that suspects you have spectrum disorder () and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder ( )?
✅ Are you still trying to identify your traits and describe your experiences to access support?

Late-Identified : A Starter Workbook—a tool for beginners. Available in ebook with downloadable work pages and paperback.
➡️ https://books2read.com/audhd
@bookstodon
@Adhdinos
@actuallyautistic

eo , to actuallyautistic
@eo@dads.cool avatar

@actuallyautistic

what are some of the most common, or most bothersome, false assumptions people make about you?

Don't limit yourself to neurodiversity or any other topic.

petelittle1970 ,
@petelittle1970@masto.alittleofnothing.co.uk avatar

@eo @actuallyautistic

That my meant my Maths degree was easy.

That i'm against/dislike something because I don't immediately rave about it. I need processing and thinking time to know how I really feel.

That because I'm a congenital anosmic I can't taste things.

That because I'm Scottish I like Irn Bru.

That because I stammer I'm stupid or lying or both.

That because I'm a man I don't get easily upset or cry over soppy things.

NeurodivergentBC , to actuallyautistic
@NeurodivergentBC@neurodifferent.me avatar

People that are not actually cannot be experts on . Period. Reposting this through the @actuallyautistic group for better reach.

JeremyMallin , to actuallyautistic
@JeremyMallin@autistics.life avatar

I rarely ever address anyone by name. There are people I've known for decades whose names I've never even used when addressing them directly.

Is that an thing?

@actuallyautistic

MrBerard , to actuallyautistic
@MrBerard@pilote.me avatar

Once a week, I pull a lateral move and go for a walk without notice cancelling close-back headphones, and, when taken in in small doses, the sonic assault of the urban cacophony can be almost enjoyed for its complexity, like a pinball for mindfulness.

@actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic

SociologyMag , to sociology
@SociologyMag@sciences.social avatar
DivergentDumpsterPhoenix , to actuallyautistic
@DivergentDumpsterPhoenix@disabled.social avatar

Autistic burnout is one of the greatest crises that an Autistic person can face.

People often think of it as similar to depression, but it can take many diverse forms.

what does burnout look like for you?

@actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy @audhd

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

How did my comrades come to know that they’re autistic?

@actuallyautistic

a ,
@a@beige.party avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic

I put in my profile recently. Lightly touching the spectrum and very definitely , but self diagnosed because I can’t get assessed here (Fife, Scotland). Mental health services are stretched and people like me are subject to a post code lottery meaning services vary widely by region and my region is very limited. What services they provide have to go to people with way more difficulties than me. I would have to pay a significant fee to be tested and there’s no money to spare for that.

I started looking into it about a year ago and joining the fediverse, seeing what other people were posting about and doing some tests recommended by others which showed up my tendencies as not being neurotypical.

Have dyscalculia, misophonia, probably dysgraphia, sensory issues with certain textures (the feeling of foam rubber or sweeping brush bristles on concrete can make me curl up and wail hysterically 😂) Sound and smell, taste sensitivities as well. All of this was completely missed in my school years - ‘78-‘89.

At school, according to educators, I was a lazy dreamer. I exhibit most of the classic ADHD tendencies.

I’ve wrestled with saying these things out loud, because who gets diagnosed or just discovers/realises this in their 50s!? Looks around 👀 OH! Plenty of us it seems.

There are, sadly, plenty of doubters around, but they’re not worth listening to. I’m dropping that kind of negativity like a hot stone these days.

26pglt , to actuallyautistics
@26pglt@mastodon.au avatar

Re reading Katherine May's wonderful essay on from the inside. She says:

'The DSM's descriptors [read like] a colonial narrative. They fail to grasp the challenging aspects of autistic experience, & pathologise the positive ones.'

This essay is a great intro to our experience & how it's routinely misunderstood. Useful for giving to family & friends. Recommend. @actuallyautistics

https://aeon.co/essays/the-autistic-view-of-the-world-is-not-the-neurotypical-cliche

janetlogan , to actuallyautistic
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

Opinions on this YouTuber? I'm hearing a lot from him that feels very relevant to my recent as an person. This video is ringing bells for me too. There are things that I've always done, that are apparently ?

The Importance of Stimming for LATE Diagnosed Autistic People

https://youtube.com/watch?v=HOeiw55xtFc&si=XED_RpD0mLCHX0rd

@actuallyautistic

russellmcormond , to actuallyautistic
@russellmcormond@fosstodon.org avatar

Asking @actuallyautistic

We have all heard the phrase: "You are either with us, or against us".

I've observed for many people, given that choice, they will not want to be perceived as against anyone so will claim they are "with".

I don't believe very many real-world scenarios are binary, so I see this as a logical fallacy https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/black-or-white .

If forced into that binary, I will always say "against" given I reject the question itself.

Is that an thing, or is that just me?

fictionalbutnot , (edited ) to actuallyautistic
@fictionalbutnot@mas.to avatar

Are allistics really not like ogres or onions?

It boggles my mind to find out someone thinks they really got to know me after a 10 minute conversation about workplace safety and respirators.

What is this place and why am I here? 😢

@actuallyautistic

Richard_Littler , to actuallyautistic
@Richard_Littler@mastodon.social avatar

Having one of those days when I wonder how different my life might have been had my & been diagnosed much (much) earlier...
It sometimes feels a bit like heaving myself breathless over a marathon finishing line long after others have completed it, only to find that I was shlepping an anvil behind me that could have so easily been offloaded, if only I'd known.
@actuallyautistic

pauldyson ,
@pauldyson@mastodon.social avatar

@Richard_Littler @actuallyautistic I have wondered the same after getting my and diagnosis at 50.

But I also wonder whether I might not have been held back by knowing I was dragging an anvil and others weren’t rather than just assuming dragging an anvil was what we all have to do and getting really good at anvil dragging.

haui , to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic @neurodivergent

It always baffles me how having a regular appointment at the same day at the same time is satisfying to me and not others.

Same how changing times on weekly appointments are hard for me to get right.

What „normal“ things are satisfying to you?

fictionalbutnot , to actuallyautistic
@fictionalbutnot@mas.to avatar

Anyone familiar with the S.E.P. drive from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?
I think all this "social lubricant" allistics use is the social equivalent to that, and a lot of the social anxiety that we people feel is that we can actually see and feel this S.E.P. field (and through it).
We end up right about most of what we read and predict, but we're told we're wrong.
Constant gaslighting will make anyone feel what we feel.

@actuallyautistic

AqiDraco , to actuallyautistic
@AqiDraco@universeodon.com avatar

Only in the past couple years did I learn about Aphantasia and this year about SDAM.

I have delved some into info but not intensely.

There is still reconciliation with knowing I have a ‘loss’ where before I did not know I was missing something.

I still do not really know what to do with all the info. And if I want to get an diagnosis.

Here is a good article I found today that resonates a lot with me.
https://aphantasia.com/article/stories/maybe-you-have-sdam/

@actuallyautistic

DivergentDumpsterPhoenix , to actuallyautistic
@DivergentDumpsterPhoenix@disabled.social avatar

Stability in recovery requires more than abstinence. It requires support in all domains of life.

Autistic people, in particular, are more likely to struggle with social deprivation, and for us to achieve recovery and/or sobriety, we need support that takes account of the unique challenges that we face.

@actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy @audhd

ablueboxfullofbooks , to bookstodon
@ablueboxfullofbooks@bookstodon.thestorygraph.com avatar

Making new friends can be difficult. It can seem even more insurmountable when you are on the autistic spectrum. 11-year-old Alex knows one or two things about it. He really doesn’t like change. Change can be terrifying. Alex thinks that having a friend will greatly help him, but how will he meet someone before school begins ?

@bookstodon @mglit

joshsusser , to random
@joshsusser@neurodifferent.me avatar

Does telling an allistic person you're ever help improve communication? Over and over, I let people know I'm autistic in hopes it will help, but it never makes things better. It seems like no one wants to do the reading, or to make an effort to even meet me halfway. The main reactions I get when I disclose fall into these categories:

  • Ignore it entirely and just keep on like I'm not autistic.
  • Say I'm nothing like their 10 year old nephew who has .
  • Assume that since we're friends it doesn't matter, because friendship is magic and will enable me to "overcome my autism" with them if I am just motivated enough, and if they aren't special enough for me to do that then I don't really value them as a friend.
  • Give advice on how I can mask better for their comfort and convenience, like I haven't spent my whole life becoming expert on that.
  • Try to be accommodating without taking the time to learn what is helpful and what is just going to make things worse.
  • Infantilize me and treat me like a child or an intellectually disabled person.
  • Give up on me because autistic people are too hard to deal with.
  • No reaction, because most people don't know anything about autism. They don't even understand that I'm doing all the work to bridge the communication gap, or that they could do anything to help, or even cut me some slack when I fail.

I do have a couple allistic friends who accommodate me enough to maintain a decent relationship, but they are rare and special. And we had somehow worked that out before I knew I was even, so telling them still didn't change much.

Has anyone had communication improve by telling someone you're autistic? Or is that just a fantasy?

BZBrainz ,
@BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

@joshsusser No, I haven’t found telling people I’m improves communication due to a poor general public understanding of —or the breadth of what the term encompasses. Instead, if I need to have this conversation, I will focus it around my specific communication needs or traits.
@actuallyautistic

BZBrainz , to actuallyautistic
@BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

Late-Identified A Starter Workbook—beginner's tool for adults—has been out for 6 months! Check it out, & if you already have, consider leaving a review. Thank you!

✅ Do you suspect you have spectrum disorder () & attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder ( )

✅ Are you still trying to identify your traits & describe your experiences to access support?

➡️ https://books2read.com/audhd

@audhd @Adhdinos @actuallyautistic

masukomi , (edited ) to actuallyadhd
@masukomi@dice.camp avatar

Conclusive "proof" that & are significant disabilities, from an unlikely source.

If you wanted to play an average character in GURPS you'd have to take the following Disadvantages: "Absent-indedness", "Partial Amnesia", "Confused", "Gullibility", "Honesty", "Light Sleeper", "Klutz", "Social Stigma" and optionally "No Sense of Humor", and / or "Cannot Speak"

On the upside, you'll get 70-115 points to spent on Advantages!

cc @CynAq
@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

johnnyprofane1 , to actuallyadhd
@johnnyprofane1@neurodifferent.me avatar

Dear marketers seeking LinkedIn connections...

And I don't mean the usual "I can get you 3000 followers over nite" suspects...

I mean the "sincere" ones...

I may not be your best prospect.

I have a personal thing about...

  1. New connections whose first DM asks for a favor, donation, participation in research, editing or writing help, promoting your pet project...

Or the earnest developer who requests that I test drive a product you're SURE will help disabled folks. For money.

Most especially, folks targeting , and other 's.

  1. I don't like folks making money off my autism. And I don't enjoy transactional social relationships... especially those masquerading as some noble purpose.

I usually just block. But I'm getting sick of it.

This morning's DM finally brought this response from me.

"Honestly I don't try freemium apps that don't outline features for trial, paid, and free versions.

"I understand the value to you of any user's trial... marketing, user data, beta testing.

"I need to understand the value to me.

"That said, it sounds like a valuable app. Wish you luck."

And removed our connection.

Have some sensitivity when marketing to disabled folks, shall we?

Btw, no answer from neurodiverse huckster. Probably busy posting hundreds of DMs to y'all.

.

Dude went totally narcissistic on me. I'm rude & dismissive. Like I owe him trying his product...?⁉️

No clue how to market to folks.

@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

sahat , to actuallyautistic
@sahat@c.im avatar

@actuallyautistic
@audhd
@adhd
and /
Often getting mixed up, indiscernible sometimes even to ourselves.
I don't believe that we are any less resilient compared to NT. I believe that we have to deal with two things, not one, without the support that NTpeople may feel.
I believe we have to get to the bottom of the things that trouble us, in order to feel healed. We feel compelled to be creating a maelstrom in our mindbodyconciousness, that draws in every part of the world we know, everything we are, until we have everything questioned, taken apart, because we feel that everything is affected, everything must change in order to heal the wound of whatever trauma we may have experienced. That's a lot of work. We tend to be bad at containing it, leaving all the other aspects of out life's experience where they are. I believe it's related to sensitivity and hyperconnected brain. And to the outsider view of ND people.
If I hold in one hand the effort of what we are trying to do, in order to heal , and in the other the symptoms of suffering and stress that we display, I believe they are evenly matched. Not every NT will see this picture and we may have trouble understanding ourselves . We may find it hard to create the necessary self- love without this understanding being reflected onto us.
I am actually finding us to be remarkably resilient. Going and going, until we have digested all of that huge vortex, changed our whole consciousness and created a whole different reality.👍 :bd243:

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