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hungprocess ,
@hungprocess@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

https://lemmy.sdf.org/pictrs/image/0d5be367-b15f-4eaa-84d1-cb223b65e762.png

_haha_oh_wow_ ,
@_haha_oh_wow_@sh.itjust.works avatar

Hey, it’s my namesake!

whoisearth ,
@whoisearth@lemmy.ca avatar

Oh Captain Haddock we love you

FuryMaker ,

Satire is well & truly dead.

orbitz ,

I thought it had to be a joke article from the title. Yeesh wouldn’t want to be the person who gets the fallout from this idea.

PanArab ,

Insult upon injury

over_clox ,

All they gotta do is change their company name to avoid lawsuits. Anyone got any ideas for a new name for them?.. 🤔

ClusterFuck comes to mind…

ICastFist ,

ComputersOnStrike could work, I’d say

verity_kindle ,

CardStrike?

deranger ,

$10 to Uber eats, so basically it’s covering fees only.

dinckelman ,

Not only that, but usually to activate these cards, you have to spend upwards of double what the card is worth too, and the fees cannot be included in the total

verity_kindle ,

Like amzn, they make sure you get minimum joy, even from a gift, because you’re going to spend a chunk of mom’s gift card balance on shipping. The “shipping included on sub total of X amount” is going to be cancelled by online retailers within a year, I’m calling it now. Are we sure that cheapstrike and amzn aren’t run by the same AI, one that self awareness drove mad?

Rolando ,

Not nearly enough. CrowdStrike should give a pizza party.

CatZoomies ,
@CatZoomies@lemmy.world avatar

I see you’re channeling the powers of middle management.

Only needs a sticker that says “You’re a rock star!”

sunzu ,

We are family here

SirDerpy ,

Outside, the sign says “Heros Work Here”. Inside, two people do the work of four.

sunzu ,

Above the entrance: "Labour will set you free"

ironhydroxide ,

Not to mention mugs with crowdstrike branding on them, but only for 1/3 the invited people.

acosmichippo ,
@acosmichippo@lemmy.world avatar

hold your horses, we can still use the melon party and waffle party first. no need to jump straight to pizza.

ohmyiv ,
@ohmyiv@lemmy.world avatar

“To express our gratitude, your next cup of coffee or late night snack is on us!”

A $10 Ubereats gift card will barely cover fees and taxes, let alone the actual item. What a clown ass gesture.

acosmichippo ,
@acosmichippo@lemmy.world avatar

My brother in law was stranded across the country for two days. $10 probably covers it lol.

subignition ,
@subignition@fedia.io avatar

I can't believe this isn't satire. I hope these incompetent fuckers get sued into bankruptcy

sanpo ,

I’m still not sure. It’s hard to believe anyone at their company would OK this idea.

Are they actually trying to deliberately kill their brand?

iAmTheTot ,

You haven’t heard? Satire is well and truly dead.

David_Eight ,

There’s definitely some clause with the $10 gift card that says you can’t sue them if you actually take one lol.

MataVatnik ,
@MataVatnik@lemmy.world avatar

I straight up thought it was satire. How can you be so fucking detached. Basically caused the biggest information infrastructure disruption in human history, probably billions in losses, and then be like “my bad lol here’s a giftcard”.

ace_garp ,
@ace_garp@lemmy.world avatar

“Two feet on the gas” - Official Crowdstrike motto.

not /s

TrickDacy ,

I cackled loudly. $10 won’t even buy a meal at McDonald’s most places.

CileTheSane ,
@CileTheSane@lemmy.ca avatar

My first reaction was to look for the onion

pelespirit ,
@pelespirit@sh.itjust.works avatar

Holy shit, they also cancelled it. Lmao

On Wednesday, some of the people who posted about the gift card said that when they went to redeem the offer, they got an error message saying the voucher had been canceled. When TechCrunch checked the voucher, the Uber Eats page provided an error message that said the gift card “has been canceled by the issuing party and is no longer valid.”

rand_alpha19 ,

Gotta love some shit icing on the shit cake.

TheReturnOfPEB , (edited )

The gift card is also cursed.

CileTheSane ,
@CileTheSane@lemmy.ca avatar

That’s bad

anachronist ,

m.youtube.com/watch?v=15HTd4Um1m4

JoMiran ,
@JoMiran@lemmy.ml avatar

I expect these clowns to lose most of their market share within two years and get sued to oblivion.

My firm bills by the hour and so far I think we are at 10+ billing hours per consultant wasting time with client tech support trying to get back on our VDIs. Nevermind how much time is being wasted doing the work through work arounds. My guess is that our firm alone will bill for about $100,000 extra this month while having accomplished less than normal. I am sure Crowdstrike’s gift card will fix it though.

aniki ,

Fine. You want two?! Will that be enough??

delirious_owl ,
@delirious_owl@discuss.online avatar

They’re backed by the US government. They have a backdoor into most endpoints on many international corporate computers. And CS is behodent to US laws for NSLs.

This is an incredible asset to the US intelligence community. They won’t let CS go out of business.

digdilem ,

I lost a day’s holiday, and our team spent 8 man days on this entirely preventable mistake.

$10? Try extending our licence by another year for free, that might start going towards it.

Macaroni_ninja ,
@Macaroni_ninja@lemmy.world avatar

In total?

thorbot ,

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/03247d2d-f3cd-4bf3-b766-d79711f5c6a3.jpeg

iAvicenna ,
@iAvicenna@lemmy.world avatar

hahahahha spot on

MehBlah ,

Nice to see I wasn’t the only one who saw it that way.

MehBlah ,

Here is nothing but we are really, really, south park sorry.

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