Some women’s libido goes down from the stress of seeing a lot of chores needing to be taken care of. Doing those chores reduced the stress. Going further and doing what is normally their share of housework can be an act of affection.
It’s also noted in a study of women asked to rate a number of pictures of men on various factors including attractiveness and reliability. When they are also asked for dating preferences, as the age range went up, the prioritization on reliability ratings also went up. Doing chores is reliable AF.
More to the point, she’s already told you she likes it. Just believe her.
You should read The Five Love Languages. This is an actual thing. Different people express and receive love differently. “Acts of Kindness” is one of them. My partner loves when i do things, and i know this, so i do it because i know it makes her feel loved. And that’s hot.
I actually just listened to that episode yesterday, that whole show is pretty great (also, the one author’s other podcast - 5-4 (“a podcast about how much the supreme court sucks”) - is consistently amazing), but for anybody out there who doesn’t do podcasts and wants a summary,
tl;dl All the good ideas in it were stolen from other places and the author is a secret fundamentalist who thinks women need to get back in the kitchen and gay people need to get back in the closet. For example, this Q & A article from 2013
Q: “My son has recently told us that he is gay. I’m having a very hard time dealing with it. How can I help him with this and still show love?”
Gary Chapman: Disappointment is a common emotion when a parent hears one of their children indicate that he/she is gay. Men and women are made for each other—it is God’s design. Anything other than that is outside of that primary design of God. Now I’m not going to try explain all the ins and outs of homosexuality, but what I will say is this—we love our children no matter what. Express your disappointment and/or your lack of understanding, but make it clear that you love them and that you will continue to love them no matter what. I would also encourage you to ask your child to do some serious reading and/or talk to a counselor to try to understand him/herself better while continuing to affirm your love.
For the episode on the book, Shamshiri went back to the original ’90s text, which contains, among other debunked gender stereotypes, an assertion in the “Physical Touch” chapter that men want sex all the time, whereas women need emotional connection for intimacy to be satisfying. (Nowhere in Chapman’s books is any attention paid to the romantic dynamics of queer couples—at one point, Shamshiri jokes that such relationships are “like the female orgasm, not discussed or implied.”) In one chapter, a woman tells Chapman that her husband verbally berates her and refuses counseling. Chapman, in the 1992 version, suggests that the husband’s love language is physical touch and counsels the wife to start initiating sex frequently and more aggressively. When she balks because sex with him makes her feel used and unloved, he advises her to draw upon Jesus’s Sermon on the Mount in order to gather strength. In the anecdote that appears in later editions, Shamshiri mentions, Chapman simply suggests that the wife be more physically affectionate in general. Although the sexual mandate is less explicit there, the idea that sex is a sacrifice that women must endure in heterosexual marriage persists.
tl;dl All the good ideas in it were stolen from other places and the author is a secret fundamentalist who thinks women need to get back in the kitchen and gay people need to get back in the closet. For example, [this Q & A article from 2013]
I missed this part and was wondering to myself wtf you were on about!
I was hoping someone would bring up love languages! As someone who speaks gift giving and acts of service, when someone does something for me or gives me a truly thoughtful gift for me I adore it. On the other hand if I don’t see those languages spoken, it makes me feel as though I’m not thought about as much as those I love and it can breed resentfulness.
Independence and self respect is sexy, and doing chores is a form of independence (you know how take of yourself) and is a form of self respect (you don’t let yourself live in filth). It also implies that you don’t view your gf as the designated house maid and not being humiliated/burdened like that is a big relief, especially for women who grew up around sexism. Who might have internalized the idea that men doing chores is on par with something like gift giving or going on dates, something special done out of love, and not just something that needs to be done. She could genuinely find you doing chores sexy, but also having to do less chores is a bonus no matter who you are, it can be both.
What if I like doing 50% of the chores, and the other 50% I truly hate and never do unless it’s a matter of life and death?
I live alone so my place is a total mess in 50% of chores, and perfect in the other 50%. So judging by my place, I’m not independent, I’m barely 50% there.
So if I got a GF and we were a match with regards to who’s doing which chores, would it be a way to get the best of both worlds? I would still do my 50% of chores but the place would be neat? And now I would appear independent and thus sexy?
However, in order to get the full effect, we would have to come up with a good schedule so that when I do my chores, she’s not doing her chores and she can fully admire me doing my 50% of chores, and vice versa. 🤔
Sounds like an idea for a new kind of dating page… 🤓
I’m easily distracted and have trouble finishing tasks. case and point: I made this post while doing the dishes, and im currently procrastinating tidying up all the kid toys 🙃
Yea. I think woman are wired to be more attracted to the actual qualities of a man and ability to provide over the aesthetic appeal, but both are good obviously. I’m not a women, but have had this conversation with my partner. So I’m an expert (;
Women are just better than men in a practical sense lol. I’m just a dumb man. But me do chores, me man, me get laid.
My wife calls it “chore-play” and it seems to really work for her. Even if its a trick, the house will be clean and everyone gets a little fun, what’s the harm?
It could be, but from my personal experience, nothing sexier than a person who can take care of shit that needs to be taken care of. You don’t know how many men don’t do this and how many women enable it by tolerating it. It’s a complete turn off when I find out a dude can’t and expects me to pick up the slack
I’ve known many women who claim something like this. Even if true, every one of them would drop their drawers for a lead guitarist living out of his car. So you know, there’s all types of sexy