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How to stop thinking about an interaction from my past?

At the first college I went to, which I later dropped out of because it was austere, cruel, and awful, I went to a little high school tour day thing. They had a seminar for prospective students; one of the faculty talking had people coming up and asking him questions at the end, in a classroom. This was fairly informal, but it had this stuffy bullshit ‘prestigious,’ ‘serious’ academia vibe like, ‘ooh, this school is really tough, gonna be really miserable for you.’

And I asked the speaker at the end, like, ‘So what do computer science majors actually do day to day in classes? Like, what sort of projects do they work on?’ Completely earnestly, because I was curious because I thought it’d be a cool answer. And he literally said to me, ‘That’s really more of a lunchroom question,’ in the most pretentious tone I’ve ever heard in my life. good christ.

And I went to that school! And it was miserable! Honestly, I didn’t even fully understand or realize how utterly rude and pretentious this dude was being to me until recently. I thought I was asking a ‘silly’ question, but NO! NO, absolutely not, it is absolutely a valid question at a college tour day as a little high school kid. And this guy genuinely seemed so offended and put off that I’d dare ask him a silly question, like he was above answering. I genuinely did not have the brainpower at the time to process such an upjumped pretentious moron.

PlasterAnalyst ,

Was he asking you to lunch? I don't get it.

ShustOne ,

This is going to sound vague but I hope it’s somewhat helpful. Make peace with it. Acknowledge what happened, accept that he was rude, and learn from it. It feels like you are already on that road. You recognize now he was being rude, and you feel like you realize the school was too pretentious for you. Take it as a learning moment and look out for it in the future.

ZosoRocks3 ,

Sounds like you have the thought stuck in your head, it can help to complete a thought record (I would recommend this 7 column one from get.gg get.gg/free-downloads-alphabetical-list-of-cbt-wo… ). Doing something like this a few times can weaken the thought by addressing the emotion behind it and the lack of evidence for this on an ongoing basis. If the emotion is shame or guilt say, by finding evidence of times where you were very competent and confident can weaken those feelings by showing this as a one off.

Chickenstalker ,

You must use your particular skills to hunt the rude dude. There can be only one.

Donebrach ,
@Donebrach@lemmy.world avatar

This is really more of a lunchroom question.

But seriously: what does that answer even mean, and why were you so embarrassed by it?

asdfasdfasdf ,

It depends - when you think about this interaction, how does it make you feel? I don’t mean what do you think. It’s clear you realize the guy was a dick. But do you feel insecure? Like make he was right? Or are you mad at him for being so pretentious? Confused?

To clarify, he definitely was 100% wrong. But the reason you keep thinking of it might be due to feeling more so than logic.

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