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coffee_with_cream ,

What is the ratio of GF per recruit? I propose 1 GF to 10 recruits for optimal taxpayer expenditure.

Also no condoms

Sloppy 9ths pls

myrrh ,

…they’re called dependapotamuses and they’re already a thing…

coffee_with_cream ,

State sponsored big titty goth GFs for all

Leate_Wonceslace ,
@Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Maybe I’ll be able to get a commission. 🤔

coffee_with_cream ,

1 sloppy BJ per recruit

frunch ,

This is the first meme i laughed aloud at in a couple days–well played, op

tilefan ,
@tilefan@lemm.ee avatar

make it $250k and I’ll sign up

sugar_in_your_tea ,

$25.0k? You got it!

EuroNutellaMan ,
@EuroNutellaMan@lemmy.world avatar

time to hodl untill state gf

CanadaPlus , (edited )

Yeah, that’s actually the least dumb one after a stable job. Everyone wants money, status and love. Even pride in your nation can be cringe, depending on how justified that pride actually is.

Of course, women are not objects, so I’m unclear how they would pull handing them out off… It’s going to be a robot RealDoll thing, isn’t it?

cccc0 ,

I’ll settle for Kerfus.

CanadaPlus ,

The Polish grocery mascot? That’s what I get searching that.

Jiggle_Physics ,

More that it is a robot built to assist people

Riven ,
@Riven@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

They could probably get girls signing up if they posted ads saying that they’re looking for stay at home girlfriends/boipussy for servicemen. Lots of states with no easy way to escape have desperate people unfortunately.

CanadaPlus ,

Yeah, but you can already dependa without government help. I guess just a sugardaddy-style dating site run by the DoD, then?

Riven ,
@Riven@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Yea lul, it would be way easier to just sign up on a gov sponsored app and go than to try and look yourself.

Still a meme anyways.

Barzaria ,

Well let me tell you, the market is already taking care of this need. There is a long established tradition in the US military of partners for our servicepeople being stay at home people. I have witnessed people get divorced from one enlisted person and marry another within a short time span. I’m not assigning moral value to this set of actions, but I think the gf from the state meme kind of already exists, but it’s implicit. Making that some form of guarantee would be pretty heinous in my opinion because it would be likely to break the assortative mating that we humans are so fond of (we sort into mating categories for absolutely good reason). The power to date/mate outside of your league is typically reserved for higher-ups in power hierarchies. The tantalizing promise that the underlings in these hierarchies can get that power is one of the main lures ised to get people to support fascism. I think the logic goes: If the boss has all the power in the world and needs me, the common goon, to secure that power, then the boss is likely to toss a few crumbs of power to me. I might be able to date outside of my league, one or two rungs. I can stand the boss breaking the natural order because I’m assuming that I will get to one day be the boss or I will be rewarded by the boss with some power. I went to Dubai and visited the big water park there. The population there is heavily stratified. The couple makeup was almost exclusively what I would describe as fat guys with supermodel wives. It breaks the assortative mating that makes up the natural order. I would suggest to anyone thinking that state-sponsored-girlfriends shoulds like a good idea ask if you yourself would like to date under your league without corersion. If not, then any dating arrangement other than the normal one is immoral. And now for some unsolicited some dating advice: the best way to date out of your league is to move up out of your league by cultivating yourself.

Sauerkraut ,

Define status. All work has value. A janitor is just as important as a nurse or software developer.

CanadaPlus ,

I don’t disagree, but hoo boy so do most human beings - especially in the modern West where we have a ghost story called meritocracy. Your example tells me you see it too, so I’ll skip the awkward attempt at nailing it down with a definition.

Actually, I do disagree a bit. I wish people took me seriously. I don’t need anything more than that though.

Neon ,

I disagree.

It doesn’t really matter whether you have a Janitor available every day or just one day every week.

But you will really notice if you have a surgeon available every day or just one day of the week.

Please note that I explicitly don’t have the opinion that janitors aren’t important. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t exist and noone would pay for them.

But saying that they are just as important as a surgeon just simply isn’t true.

Sauerkraut , (edited )

But saying that they are just as important as a surgeon just simply isn’t true.

Yeah, but I never said that. I said “janitors are just as important as nurses and software engineers” because “all labor has value”

To be clear, I do agree that not all jobs are strictly equal in value. But lets shift our perspective a little: is the life of a CEO worth more than the janitor? I don’t think so. And yet the janitor often trades more of his life for far less pay. I think the time the janitor is sacrificing is just as precious to him as the CEO’s time is to the CEO.

The main point I would argue is that anyone sacrificing the best hours of the best years of their life deserves a living wage and basic respect / dignity.

Maggoty ,

Free healthcare and commissary access already causes marriages. A defined length contract wouldn’t be the worst thing in human history. But I’m not sure it’s up to modern ethical standards.

CanadaPlus ,

If you can’t leave early, yeah it wouldn’t be. If you can I don’t really see what that adds.

Arguably legal marriages that are hard and expensive to leave are anachronistic themselves.

Maggoty ,

Oh gosh I wasn’t thinking of an enlistment. I was thinking about a normal job contract.

Agent641 ,

Roomba in the streets, predator drone in the sheets.

taladar ,

Even pride in your nation can be cringe, depending on how justified that pride actually is.

As a German who was raised long after WW2 let me just say that pretty much all pride in your nation is pretty cringe, no matter how justified. The one exception would be maybe if you had a major part in improving your nation personally.

CanadaPlus , (edited )

Hmm. Should I be proud my nation accepts more immigrants than anybody else? If we stopped, I’d stop being proud, so the way I’ve thought of it that doesn’t make me a nationalist. I certainly don’t want to be a nationalist.

TranscendentalEmpire ,

They already do that, but the gf’s name is always Jody. Who do you think writes all those Dear John letters?

sugar_in_your_tea ,

Idk, wojak ads sound pretty appealing.

Agent641 ,

Which state though? I hope North Dakota, those cold weather women love to cuddle

TheMightyCanuck ,
@TheMightyCanuck@sh.itjust.works avatar

Dodge charger

clearly not a dodge charger

Is this subtext meme or is NCD just extra not credible today?

Ilovethebomb ,

Cars aren’t really our strong point, just look at all the “Toyota Hilux” memes, where the vehicle is actually a 70 series cruiser.

chuckleslord ,

That’s not a Dodge Charger? Is it a Dodge, though? I’m not good on my car politics

TheMightyCanuck ,
@TheMightyCanuck@sh.itjust.works avatar

It is the similarly named but starkly different ‘dodge challenger’

verity_kindle ,

“STD Treatment/Health Care” should be between Egirl and Wojak. Just sayin.

ironhydroxide ,

But that’s a Challenger.

StopJoiningWars ,
@StopJoiningWars@discuss.online avatar

If you know what model that is you’re too painfully American to come back from there, my condolences.

3ntranced ,

To be fair if you’ve seen a charger and a challenger before, you’d be able to tell pretty quick. My brain interprets it is charger built like matchbox; challenger like hot wheels.

sugar_in_your_tea ,

Yup, there’s a reason that particular campaign didn’t work out.

massive_bereavement ,

Where's the FPS game?

The_Picard_Maneuver OP ,
@The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world avatar

Think it belongs before or after the Dodge Charger?

Hathaway ,

Before. America’s Army dropped for the PC in ‘02. I feel like grunts were getting chargers from like 06-current. Could be wrong though

Milk_Sheikh , (edited )

Been done, and didn’t work. Players complained of “Slow weapon upgrades” and “No character progression” and was received poorly, needs more gritty realism.

Or explosions

domdanial ,

What’s funny is I know someone with like, 2000 hours in that game. And it just happened to be his favorite fps, nothing to do with the army propaganda.

ChicoSuave ,

It’s well balanced, has great level design, and the game mood is serious enough that the scenarios and matches are taken serious too. It’s rare to have someone run in guns blazing for more than a couple matches. Overall, it has a fun gameplay loop that takes itself seriously without being over the top. They know it’s a recruiting tool, so it has to be good enough that folks want to play.

Milk_Sheikh ,

It’s honestly a solid lane shooter FPS, but it falls flat of the Battlefield killer it could have been. Enough realism and no respawns to make you treat it seriously, but it’s also not ArmA levels of “welp, time to respawn and drive/walk to the objective for 15 minutes”

Plus doing the training unlocks the squad role slots for online play, get that season pass shit outta my face

Hathaway ,

And the training consisted of sitting in a classroom, then taking a paper test and scoring well enough, if not more. I loved AA 2

HobbitFoot ,

I heard they had to limit people at West Point from playing as all the cadets were learning to shoot first and ask questions later.

quinkin ,

From my experience trying it out they should have made sure no-one had any grenades.

Maggoty ,

Some units did use it as a training tool, but only in conjunction with actual classes and closed matches. So wacky game stuff was very much not allowed. You had to move and fight as a team. For what it’s worth, when I organized some guys to work like a real fireteam the game massively rewarded it in public matches.

For shoot/don’t shoot training without a designated training area (the infamous back 40 of most bases) the Army uses a laser system with compressed air guns. A video plays and you’re expected to interact with it like you would in real life. So there’s a trainer there noting the exact moment you went lethal, if you did the correct de-escalation before hand, and your marksmanship after you start shooting. The scenarios also have branching possibilities so you can’t just recognize which one is which. You actually have to work the problem and hope for the best.

PugJesus ,

AA2 and AA3 were fucking fantastic, despite AA3 becoming early access abandonware within like ten seconds of its release. AA4 was awful.

BrazenSigilos ,

I enjoy a good FPS, even military sim styles like Battlefield, but that also why I wouldn’t join the real military. I enjoy it as a game, a fantasy where none actually get physical injured and everyone goes home at the end of a battle. I’ve seen enough “video game” violence to know I have zero desire to see the real thing or do such things to other people.

owiseedoubleyou ,
@owiseedoubleyou@lemmy.ml avatar

Battlefield isn’t a milsim. Aside from the few milsim communites that have existed over the years and mods like Project Reality, Battlefield games were never really the most realistc deptiction of warfare.

Warl0k3 ,

Isn’t that their point?

BrazenSigilos ,

Yes, it is

BrazenSigilos ,

True, it isn’t a milsim. It’s a game in the milsim style, as I said. And not being a very realistic depiction is explicitly why I enjoy the fantasy of the game, but not the reality of warfare.

Maggoty ,

They made the most realistic game and people complained it wasn’t real enough. I will never forget that. And the slow weapon upgrades was because there weren’t any originally. Then you had to complete a stealth mission with one possible path that you had to crawl through for an hour. And the weapons weren’t available on every map.

In many ways the game proved we didn’t want super realism. We wanted fake realism with tactical fashion.

PugJesus ,

“State-sanctioned GF”

But then how will they ever get recruits for the Navy?

ThePyroPython ,

State-sanctioned cat-boys.

GluWu ,

Morale liaison

nuke ,
@nuke@sh.itjust.works avatar

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/354bf4d0-ae4f-4a8f-a4a8-e00d0e3d488d.jpeg

lud ,

Jokes on them, I’m on land.

SkybreakerEngineer ,

Shipmate you gotta study more recce

Bruhh ,

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/2cdab388-1ddc-4085-a9b3-9845368ded36.jpeg

Ok pal

lud ,

Well, I’m inside a house. Good luck hitting me!

Yondoza ,

Captain, we’re going to need a new tactic. Operative 15 has found a gaping flaw in our capabilities.

Tar_alcaran ,

Girlfriend is for on land only.

uriel238 ,
@uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Recruits don’t have to start gay.

Mobile ,

😂

EuroNutellaMan ,
@EuroNutellaMan@lemmy.world avatar

either the navy becomes full of lesbians or they’ll hand out state bf

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