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ArcaneSlime ,

Good, maybe politely* asking people out in public spaces other than “the fucking bar” will become acceptable again rather than creepy.

*To clarify, I mean stuff like “I think you look cool, wanna grab some coffee?” not like “Ay lemme taste the inside of your butthole gurl.”

Dkarma ,

Aww man, throwing shade on my best lines, bruh

IAmNotACat ,

Why did they all go for the swipe model? That vastly reduced the size of their customer market while splitting that reduced market across several apps.

Kit ,

Right? Even OKCupid ditched their highly successful model in favor of swiping.

Joeffect ,

Even back then it was basically common knowledge that they separated people on attractiveness and compatibility. I stopped using it right before tinder really took off and they switched to be more like tinder.

garretble ,
@garretble@lemmy.world avatar

These apps are a service, and as such - in theory - it’s not out of the question to ask for some sort of payment.

HOWEVER, the price they ask is so damned high it’s not worth it.

I think Tinder wants $35/m to let you “see your likes” (the people who have swiped right on you), and as far as I know that’s basically the only way to ever see them because just using the app regularly they never seem to show up. I think I’ve had 40 Likes in a queue for about a year because they just never show up in day to day usage. I assume it’s all bot profiles from other countries at this point.

Havald ,

It’s all people outside of your search parameters that’s why they never show up. So basically it’s people you’re not interested in anyways and it’s not worth paying them money to find that out.

Viking_Hippie ,

The editor had far too much fun coming up with that headline 😄

cmbabul , (edited )

Historically I’ve had a lot of success and met some really great women, even had awesome relationships with a few, but things changed at some point after Covid. I barely see anyone that isn’t almost the exact opposite of what I look for and thats alongside the litany of notifications to buy something

bravesilvernest ,
@bravesilvernest@lemmy.ml avatar

Met my now-wife on Bumble in 2019, but I have a feeling it peaked around that time based on all the stories I’ve heard.

Might have to do with commodifying relationships, but who am I to guess 🙃

peopleproblems ,

Hmmm.

Sounds good to me I haven’t met anyone so I can happily quit them now methinks, especially if they will financially suffer at this point

hate2bme ,

I always have great conversations with girls on apps. Then when we set up a date I get ghosted the day of. The one time the date actually would have happened the girl was a LOT larger than her pics. And I have no problem with dating a bigger girl but I do have a problem with liars. Never again.

rehydrate5503 ,

Similar situation here. Lots of ghosting, or unmatching the day of a scheduled date. Had two dates in the last few months of using the apps. First woman was about 15 years older than her pics. Not unattractive by any means, but felt lied to from the get go. The other, let’s just say she had some work done after most recent pics, and the surgeon shouldn’t be practicing.

Captainvaqina ,

Maybe he was practicing on her

IphtashuFitz ,

My wife and I met through eHarmony about 15 years ago now, and have been happily married over 10 now. Prior to meeting her I’d tried a handful of other dating apps but never had any luck. I had very similar stories about ghosting, unmatching, etc.

I have no idea if eHarmony still works the way it used to, but back when I met my wife it was fairly different from the likes of Match.com, Tinder, etc. When setting up your profile you had to answer a bunch of fairly specific questions that covered everything from if you were looking for casual dates, long term, marriage, if you have/want kid, etc. to things like activities you enjoy to how important things like family, religion, career, etc. are to you.

When they show you a potential match you get to see how they answered those questions along with a more open profile. If both of you indicate interest in communicating with each other then you’re first led through some rounds of guided communication to begin with. As I recall you would both pick 3 or 4 multiple choice questions from a list of 30 or so to ask the other person, and they would do the same. After you both answered those questions then you would do the same with more open-ended questions and so on. Only after a few rounds of that would you be able to chat/email with the other person.

What I realized while using eHarmony is that it kind of forced you to invest time & some conscious effort to communicate with potential matches. That resulted in more of them being open to proceed further. I went on dates with a few women I met on eHarmony before I met my wife.

As I said before I have no idea if eHarmony still operates this way or not. That’s how they did things 15 years ago and it could have changed a lot since then.

Dkarma ,

From what I hear 15 years ago online dating is wildly different than today.

jerkface ,
@jerkface@lemmy.ca avatar

You have to build in a nearly 10:1 cost. For every ten tentative contacts, only one is going to pan out. That’s just the cost of playing. If you don’t like it, there are better ways to meet people.

Put “NO FAT CHICKS” in your profile, I’m sure she was more disappointed to get you and would have appreciated the heads up. In fact, wear a shirt that says that and save everyone from wasting their time.

Mubelotix ,
@Mubelotix@jlai.lu avatar

I would prefer if we treated others with respect and honesty. She lied, so there is nothing to be done

abigscaryhobo ,

As a guy, these apps suck. I’ve met a few people on them, but it’s very obvious that they are deliberately hiding matches and people that are your type behind a paywall. It’s not in their best interest to show you people that have the same interests as you, it’s better if they bundle them all up and slap a big fat price tag on the front.

People are starting to realize these apps aren’t about hooking up or making connections, they’re about squeezing desperate people looking for love into giving money for the promise of finding it.

jerkface ,
@jerkface@lemmy.ca avatar

People don’t even use these apps to actually meet people. There are much better ways to actually meet people and we all know it. They all involve getting out and interacting with human beings in meatspace. We use these apps for parasocial stimulation. We look at the faces scroll by, gaze into their eyes, and it tricks our stupid brains into thinking we are having social interactions. That’s the actual product they are selling.

AssaultPepper ,

Met my fiance on a dating app, but I think they really peaked in the pandemic for the reasons the article stated that nobody had anywhere else to go.

Now it’s likely just filters for people who spend the time cultivating a social presence elsewhere.

snekerpimp ,

Never met anyone good off those apps. Now Craigslist, I have met friends for life.

ickplant ,
@ickplant@lemmy.world avatar

I met my husband of 8.5 years on Craigslist Casual Encounters. Those were the times.

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I’ve never used one of those apps, but the risk of being defrauded or, worse, assaulted, would be way too high for me to take that sort of chance.

Samvega ,

I can’t imagine how unpleasant I would feel if I was defrauded or harmed because of using a dating website. I’m going to call that ‘appalling’, although that’s too weak a word.

I’m so happy that I met my wife through circumstance and chance and we just love each other and that’s it.

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I got married before smartphones were a thing. I’m just lucky my wife loves me even though I’m an idiot.

ji17br ,

It’s really not that hard, don’t give out personal info. Meet in a public place.

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Long cons are a thing. I think I would just try to date people I already knew or just stay single. But I’m not the most trusting soul after getting burned a couple of times when I owned a business.

ji17br ,

Yeah but that’s not an issue with dating apps. That’s just an issue with humans.

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

True, but dating apps put you in touch with strangers as possible dates rather than people you already know. I admit this is way out of my ballpark and I’m just speculating about myself. I don’t think I’d do anything like speed dating if that’s still a thing either.

ji17br ,

There’s no one I know that could be a potential partner. I’m assuming many people are in a similar boat. We have to date strangers anyways, app or no app.

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Like I said, I’d probably just remain single in that case. I just am not trusting enough of total strangers. If a friend set me up with someone, I’d do that. But I would be too suspicious to date a total stranger.

Just me personally.

ji17br ,

Different strokes for different folks. Been on many dates with strangers, it’s almost always enjoyable. Turns out 99% of people are just normal people. The 1% of crazy people are the stories you hear that make people not want to go outside. Id just rather not live my life in fear.

clark ,
@clark@midwest.social avatar

Good.

MediaBiasFactChecker Bot ,

The Guardian - News Source Context (Click to view Full Report)Information for The Guardian:
> MBFC: Left-Center - Credibility: Medium - Factual Reporting: Mixed - United Kingdom
> Wikipedia about this source

Search topics on Ground.Newshttps://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/aug/17/dating-apps-decline-bumble-tinder

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