I always wondered why we don’t hear about assassination attempts more often. I bet the secret service et. al. have their work cut out for them on that front.
If it was a successful attempt by agent 47 the headline would be like “antique lavish chandelier falls upon Trump in freak accident at fundraising event in Mar-A-Lago. No foul play suspected, say police”
If it’s in russia, the headline would read “[Name] fell from window and is yet another random victim in the string of freak window-related fall deaths.”
“We are saddened to hear about [Name] committing suicide by shooting himself twice in the back of the head with a silenced pistol and then throwing himself off a roof”
“Rather than releasing the Report on the Rigged & Stolen Georgia 2020 Presidential Election on Monday, my lawyers would prefer putting this, I believe, Irrefutable & Overwhelming evidence of Election Fraud & Irregularities in formal Legal Filings,” Trump said on Truth Social.
His lawyers assured them they’re totally going to put it all in their formal report, and then promptly tossed it in the shredder when he left the room.
Are we talking a per pore basis or more like a per square inch of skin thing? Does this mean women with larger faces are more valuable so long as a higher proportion of face is covered vs uncovered? I’m just trying to understand their obviously completely logical and rational point of view here.
The evidence is coming! Oh, it’s great evidence. Sure, right now we look like assholes, but that’s because you haven’t seen the evidence yet! It’s coming! Two weeks!
He just needed to feed the idea of it to his base. They won’t know or care that it was an imaginary report, and will never hear that the press conference was canceled.
Look, we had the report, ok? It was complete and it was an amazing report, a perfect report, it was just so good. Some say it was the best report they ever saw. My lawyers said, Donald, how did you come up with this, are you a lawyer? Because it was just so perfect. If only they knew! I’m better than any lawyer! And then Obama, this guy… where was he even born? Who is this guy? He sends his vicious dogs after me, they almost got me, these thugs, these evil dogs… and they ate my report. He was so jealous of my report! Look, believe me, ok, I’ll rewrite the report. It will be even better. The best. Believe me.
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