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kambusha ,

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”. In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kom tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

jubilationtcornpone ,

The news brought to you by Monty Python.

kaputt ,

Nah, the wind is blowing from a different direction.

openlibrary.org/books/…/Fom_Winde_ferfeelt

For context, in this book, “missed by the wind” (which kinda sounds like gone with the wind) the author introduces a change to the language in every chapter, making it easier every time. And he succeeds. Highly recommend.

comador ,
@comador@lemmy.world avatar

Thank you for making me laugh.

PolandIsAStateOfMind ,
@PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmy.ml avatar

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

Up and included this line it should actually be implemented as reform to all versions of english.

writeblankspace ,

I love how it keeps progressing 😭

Peter_Arbeitslos ,
@Peter_Arbeitslos@feddit.de avatar

SPRICH (DOCH GLEICH) DEUTSCH, DU HUSO!

kambusha ,

Hab ich kino im gesicht?

Peter_Arbeitslos ,
@Peter_Arbeitslos@feddit.de avatar

Ich weiß nicht, du tust?

NegativeLookBehind ,
@NegativeLookBehind@kbin.social avatar

You only have to worry about the Germans if they’re the AfD strain

Discombobulated_Back ,

Fucl afd

trex ,

Fuck afd

pimeys ,
@pimeys@lemmy.nauk.io avatar

Fuck afd

Menjoo ,

Fuck afd

leap123 ,
@leap123@lemmy.world avatar

Fuck afd

quantenzitrone ,

fuck AfD

Micromot ,

FUCK AFD

Iron_Lynx ,

FUCK AFD

Successful_Try543 ,

FUCK AFD

SaltyIceteaMaker ,

Fuck AFD UwU❤️

Peter_Arbeitslos ,
@Peter_Arbeitslos@feddit.de avatar

FICK AfD, MEINE KERLiNNEN!

TotallyNotSpez ,

Another symptom of German spreading is multiple postings of fish memes in international communities instead of being limited to ich_iel.

Discombobulated_Back ,

Also ich wusste von Fisch memes in ich_iel aber nicht außerhalb. Verdächtig 🥸

TotallyNotSpez ,

Check 196 then ;)

LetterboxPancake ,

I blocked both in the meantime.

Ihr Fischköpfe geht mir auf die Rückenflosse.

the_Coffin_Seller ,
@the_Coffin_Seller@lemmy.world avatar

Das geht uns an der Heckflosse vorbei Ü

LetterboxPancake ,

Vermute ich auch, ist mir aber auch wumpe.

Haus ,
@Haus@kbin.social avatar

Mmmm... Fischmemen.

lurch ,

I honestly wonder why I didn’t see a single Störganoff 🤷

itslilith ,
@itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

there were multiple, at least on 196

thorcik ,

Luckily I have a gun in my trousers.

zyratoxx ,
@zyratoxx@lemm.ee avatar

Reddit/Lemmy simulation shows a single mention of Germany can spread germans across a whole Kommentarsektion

Jay ,

Diese Kommentarsektion ist nun Eigentum der Bundesrepublik Deutschland.

cows_are_underrated ,

𝕯𝖎𝖊𝖘𝖊 𝕶𝖔𝖒𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖘𝖊𝖐𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 𝖎𝖘𝖙 𝖓𝖚𝖓 𝕰𝖎𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖚𝖒 𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝕭𝖚𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖘𝖗𝖊𝖕𝖚𝖇𝖑𝖎𝖐 𝕯𝖊𝖚𝖙𝖘𝖈𝖍𝖑𝖆𝖓𝖉

miss_brainfart ,
@miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml avatar

Diese wundervolle Schrift kenn ich doch, wie heißt sie noch gleich?

Karyoplasma ,

Frakturschrift ist der Überbegriff.

miss_brainfart ,
@miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml avatar

Ich glaub, diese Schrift im speziellen ist die Germanica, wenn mich nicht alles täuscht

Discombobulated_Back ,

Guten Tag.

Juvyn00b ,

Gluten tag.

SaltyIceteaMaker ,

Gluten Teig.

Killing_Spark ,

Ja moin

Dirk ,
@Dirk@lemmy.ml avatar

So we’re posting ancient memes again?

debil ,

Ancient?! It clearly says “2 hours ago” ffs…

crispy_kilt ,

Diese Kommentarsektion ist fortan Eigentum der Bundesrepublik Deutschland.

morgunkorn ,
@morgunkorn@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

Ein Volk

the_Coffin_Seller ,
@the_Coffin_Seller@lemmy.world avatar

Eine Nation

crispy_kilt ,

Eine Kommentarsektion

CrowAirbrush ,

Awesome, this is the first time my neighbours use their variation of G E K O L O N I S E E R D

somenonewho ,

Sprich Deutsch du Hurensohn!

/s

baggachipz ,

Why is this an issue? They’ve never caused any problems before

Magnetar ,

<3 (world wars)

Darkenfolk ,

To be fair, both where the fault of the Austrians. Getting kicked in the head by a kangaroo doesn’t help with mental stability.

samus12345 ,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

https://y.yarn.co/bef033af-ceae-4a99-986c-fcc50905951a_text.gif

HiddenLayer5 ,

Germans tend to be pretty heavy build too, pretty severe impact damage. Take cover.

Chunk ,

During Covid they were talking about letting people back on planes if everyone wore a mask. I told a friend that’s ridiculous, the total volume of air will be filled with corona virus, the mask doesn’t stop the virus it just projects the virus upwards.

Friend lost his shit. Called me a science denier and legitimately thought I was a right wing lunatic. The guy is a Staff software engineer at Meta. We rarely talk anymore which is too bad but also maybe for the best.

LemmysMum ,

Achoo! Gesundheit.

ShouldIHaveFun ,

Choo hast

VikingHippie ,

Choo hast mich

coffeebiscuit ,

This is distörbing.

Duke_Nukem_1990 ,

God dammit it’s spreading

LemmysMum ,

Scheisse.

crispy_kilt ,

Schweizer detektiert

derfl007 ,

Anzeige ist raus (an die ich_iel mods)

FQQD ,

as a german: can confirm. this is what happens while coughing.

amelia ,

When someone in the supermarket coughs, I (a German) try to get as many aisles away from them as possible, so yes, can also confirm.

Thrashy ,
@Thrashy@lemmy.world avatar

What’s the cryptofascist equivalent of a Grauniad?

morgunkorn ,
@morgunkorn@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

we need to call the chief sturgeon

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