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ultratiem ,
@ultratiem@lemmy.ca avatar

Not the best patent to use if you want to settle the debate. This one from Wheeler is the nail in the coffin: patent

It also shows why it was over and not under as at the time, the TP holder was a hanging wire, which kept the paper against the wall. Not protruding out like todays hangers.

WarmSoda OP ,

Good find

ultratiem ,
@ultratiem@lemmy.ca avatar

Not that the over/under debate was even a thing, but this should convince those diehard lunatics not to hang their TP improperly!

Whatevster ,
@Whatevster@lemmy.today avatar

What the fuck were they doing for toilet paper before 1891?

HocEnimVeni ,
@HocEnimVeni@lemmy.world avatar

Farmers almanac.

shalafi ,

Sears catalog and corn cobs. No lie.

WarmSoda OP ,

Smart. One for the front, and one for the back.

Toes ,

A rag on a stick, frequent trips to the river, their left hand, nothing at all and the three seashells. We’re some other options.

jballs ,
@jballs@sh.itjust.works avatar

We’ve still got a few years until the three seashells take over and Taco Bell wins the franchise wars.

Imgonnatrythis ,

I dunno, but it probably involved slaves.

blarth ,

This post sent me down a rabbit hole.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_hygiene

The funniest one is the Japanese “chuugi”, translated to “shit stick”.

WarmSoda OP ,

As absolutely batshit crazy the world is right now, it’s important to reflect on what we do have. And thankfully it’s advanced beyond shit sticks.

MystikIncarnate ,

Imagine getting an asshole splinter?

WarmSoda OP ,

No. No I will not imagine that, thank you very much. Kittens are cute. Kittens are cute.

oatscoop ,

Various other things like leaves, rags, sponges, or leftover paper. Failing that a bare hand works: manners dictating you wash it after.

Some cultural hangups on the left hand being “unclean” stem from those cultures using that hand for hygienic reasons.

Decoy321 ,

I see we’ve got some really strong opinions going on here. Just wanna remind everyone to keep it friendly and civil.

And on that note, all you weirdos who place it behind are wrong and I will die on this hill.

Fight me.

FordBeeblebrox ,

I’m not gonna fight you. My two shitty scheming cats on the other hand…

Look I know how it’s supposed to go but I’m fighting for every square

Halosheep ,

You could just keep the door closed

FordBeeblebrox ,

Yes. Famous respecter of closed doors, our feline friends.

myusernameis ,

Ah, I see the problem. I’m afraid you’ve accidentally adopted a Velociraptor.

Decoy321 ,

lol you can try

Socsa ,

People who place it hanging against the wall stand to wipe, like children.

TwigletSparkle ,

or this youtu.be/xV3zy-mCsOc

WarmSoda OP , (edited )

I stand with you this day, brother!

I stand two stalls over, but still with you!

MystikIncarnate ,

Separate, but together, we stand… Or sit.

IDK what’s going on in this metaphor.

WarmSoda OP ,

That’s an impressive watch, brother!

Hobbes_Dent ,

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/64f14890-cd2e-475d-960b-c7fd97c9d397.webp

CodexArcanum ,

Shrödinger’s Roll

SubArcticTundra ,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

It should be on a pivot so it always faces where youre pulling from

flambonkscious ,

Bastards incorporated!

Asidonhopo ,

Bad design. Toilet paper not currently in use must be stored outside the bathroom so that it doesn’t become damp and musty from the humidity. As opposed to on the wet floor next to the dewy toilet. This is how you get a nasty fungal infection fyi

CommissarVulpin ,

…Is your bathroom a swamp?

shalafi ,

LOL my god, I was gonna say. OP apparently lacks a rudimentary immune system as well. Or, is shoving that tp way, way too deep. And leaving it there.

My wife got me to install a bidet. Can’t remember to try it. Been 8-months, still forget.

JCreazy ,

You’ve had a bidet for 8 months and you have yet to experience its wonders?

Sotuanduso ,

I’ve had a bidet for years and never used it. The rest of my family does, but I have no interest.

Captainvaqina ,

It is far superior and unmeasurably more efficient.

Actually you can measure it, by the amount you save on shit tickets.

itsgoodtobeawake ,

Eh, different strokes for different butts. I don’t see how having a wet/moist ass is more efficient. I have one, and don’t use it unless I’m particularly interested…in extra cleanliness. It’s not for everyone.

null ,

Yeah, and why take a shower when you can just pat yourself down with paper towel?

itsgoodtobeawake ,

Some of you bidet fans sound like you’re in a religion with all the proselytizing. You do you, just stop pretending that your way is magically superior.

null ,

Nothing magical about it. It’s simply, objectively superior.

Iapar ,

Cleaning with water is objectively superior then cleaning without, no?

lone_faerie ,

If you step in dog poop, do you just wipe it off or do you wash your foot?

Sotuanduso ,

I don’t like being wet, so I’d use about as much TP anyways. Maybe more.

ivanafterall ,
@ivanafterall@lemmy.world avatar

He lives in a hut in the rainforest maybe?

constantokra ,

If you have humidity problems in your bathroom, get a small electric dehumidifier. They’re less than 30 bucks and they’ll fix it right up.

roguetrick ,

Being in the general vicinity of mold won’t give you a fungal infection unless you don’t wash. I recommend against placing toilet paper directly inside your rectum or vagina, however.

Imgonnatrythis ,

Or anyone else’s for that matter.

roguetrick ,

Username does not check out.

theneverfox ,

I recommend against placing toilet paper directly inside your rectum or vagina, however.

I don’t understand. How do you use toilet paper?

roguetrick ,

In my case, external surfaces and creating a paper mache dong extension.

MystikIncarnate ,

I’m thinking that the poster means putting it entirely inside, like trying to clean the walls of a glass or pipe or something.

IDK. I’m just some guy.

GBU_28 ,

If the bathroom and toilet are “dewy” the bad design falls on the house itself.

Asidonhopo ,

In hot, humid climates the toilet bowl itself will have condensation that sweats down the outside in my experience. YMMV

MystikIncarnate ,

Oooh. That makes more sense.

In less humid/hot locations, this isn’t really an issue. The outside of the bowl is cold, but rarely collects condensation.

The only way for it to get wet and create a problem is when guys have bad aim and don’t have the decency to sit down because of their bad aim.

If you use the TP after that, you get what’s coming to you.

Ghostalmedia ,
@Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world avatar

What in the terrible photoshop I looking at.

Why is there two gigantic rolls on the ground?

Imgonnatrythis ,

Heavy days?

MystikIncarnate ,

I’ve seen these. I know people who have them.

It’s a tp holder with space for extra rolls.

It’s made if wire and it sucks.

sfxrlz ,

I like this shitpost

Asidonhopo ,

Toilet paper hanging haphazardly over the front of the roll provides a convenient place for a 3 inch spider to hide between the roll and hanging strip. The patent illustration is clearly meant as a sick joke.

Sotuanduso ,

If it’s hanging from the other side, there’s even more space for a spider to hide outside of view.

remotelove ,

Well, that spider is in for a hell of a ride.

MystikIncarnate ,

Weeeeee

xenspidey ,

Yes this was 1.0, 2.0 improved the tech by going under instead of over. Much more convenient single hand operation as well as pet protection.

MystikIncarnate ,

I go over hand and my one handed TP game is on point.

Get good.

Prandom_returns ,

The inventor also said it’s “jif”, and I ain’t saying that either. Also, the patent doesn’t indicate whther that’s the front view or the back view. It’s displaying a roll in a vacuum.

JackiesFridge ,
@JackiesFridge@lemmy.world avatar

You’re right, of course. Patent illustrations traditionally show the item only from behind.

Prandom_returns ,

Patent illustrators show the item in the way that is most useful to describe the patent.

Mounting is not illustrated.

ASeriesOfPoorChoices ,

it’s amazing how much patent illustrations and my pornography have in common.

Stern ,
@Stern@lemmy.world avatar

They didn’t own a cat and it shows.

lengau ,

I’ve had cats my whole life and have never had one mess with my properly placed toilet paper.

MystikIncarnate ,

I have four in the house and none of them screw with our tp.

You just have a cat that’s more of an asshole than usual.

ASeriesOfPoorChoices ,

Increased nip dosages are required.

rainerloeten ,
@rainerloeten@lemmy.world avatar

Why is this in c/Lemmy Shitposting?

RecluseRamble ,

The patent explains the intended use for that kind of paper.

WarmSoda OP ,

I need TP for my bunghole!

MystikIncarnate ,

TP, shitposting… You don’t see the connection?

JohnOliver ,

Wait. So if this i patented but has no specification about hanging it the other way, would that mean that one could patent toilet paper again, but hanging the other way?

Natanael ,

You shouldn’t, but the patent office don’t care about inventive height and obviousness anymore

Papergeist ,

I don’t believe so. They will only award a new patent if yours is meaningfully different from previous technologies. I would suspect they would deem the other direction “not a meaningful difference.”

MystikIncarnate ,

The internet disagrees.

praxis_jack ,

Yes, correct

lowleveldata ,

It makes sense when you consider that they don’t even have ball pens in the 19th century. People back then must be very stupid.

WarmSoda OP ,

Yes… Because the people that made everything we have today possible are… stupid. Right.

lowleveldata ,

Yes. Otherwise why would they register the wrong way of hanging toilet paper in the patent?

WarmSoda OP ,

Lol nicely done

iopq ,

They were very smart. Ball pens messed up my wrists. I was livid when I found out it takes no pressure to write with a fountain pen

dnick ,
  • image displayed from reverse side to show overhang
Ookami38 ,

The proper way to hang it, if you have cats, is the other way so they don’t bat it all off if the get access. This is why I do not have cats.

ShadowCatEXE ,
@ShadowCatEXE@lemmy.world avatar

My cat has not once tried unraveling a toilet paper roll. He has stolen money before, but he steals shit, so that’s normal. But never toilet paper.

Ookami38 ,

Oh, man. My mother had cats who would just attack tp or paper towels. We had them both hanging the ‘correct’ way, got tired of it and flipped em. Now, though, I stick to dogs lol

WarmSoda OP ,

Haha mine will take coins off the table, and carry it off to her hiding spot. It’s the cutest thing. I got her a small box of toy pirate coins.

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