With water from a rock and fire from Mt. Horeb

Vespair , 5 months ago

This joke is so old and obvious, that there was literally a beer in America named He’Brew for 25 years.

abbadon420 , 5 months ago

This should be crossposted to dadjokes (I don’t know how to link communities)

MacNCheezus OP , 5 months ago

I gotchu, fam.

Also, to link a community, just put a ! in front of the full name, like so: !dadjokes

Resol , 5 months ago

I thought he always Yiddished his coffee.

MacNCheezus OP , 5 months ago

I don’t even know what that means, but you gave me a great idea for another meme.

Also, Yiddish originates from the Ashkenazi community in 9th century Europe, Moses certainly didn’t know anything about that.

Resol , 5 months ago

I was just trying to make a joke about a different language that was also written with the Hebrew script. Turns out it sounds terrible.

MacNCheezus OP , 5 months ago

Oh vey, what a shonda…

Real talk though, that’s honestly quite fascinating, isn’t it. Yiddish is a Germanic language while Hebrew is Semitic. Those are two entirely different language families, yet both languages use the same letters.

Also, Finnish and Hungarian belong to a common family even though they read and sound entirely different and have little cultural and no geographic overlap.

Resol , 5 months ago

This is what keeps me up at night.

wildbus8979 , 5 months ago

Abraham certainly did not speak modern Hebrew. A language that was invented in the late 19th century to further the Zionist cause.

en.wikipedia.org/…/Revival_of_the_Hebrew_language

MacNCheezus OP , 5 months ago

Doesn’t matter what language he spoke (probably biblical Hebrew), he was a descendant from a people referred to as Hebrews (see Exodus 2:1-10).

gedaliyah , 5 months ago

Weird. Then why can I read the inscription in this photo of a text composed 3500 years ago? I guess some time traveler learned this totally invented 19th century language and taught it to the people back then, and also came up with Arabic and some other languages that are pretty closely related.

By the way, it says not to lie (although his hand is partly covering it).

OpenStars , 5 months ago

Spitting ice cold verses like he… I dunno, I haven’t had my coffee ☕ yet.:-D

MacNCheezus OP , 5 months ago

Man, I haven’t even slept yet.

OpenStars , 5 months ago

Rest In Peace, friend.

Wait no! I mean… yeah, get a good rest:-D.

MacNCheezus OP , 5 months ago

Unfortunately, there is no rest for the wicked.

OpenStars , 5 months ago

With enough alcohol you can at least pass out

I hope you find your path. [Insert funny & witty meme that is somehow highly relevant to the OP] Oh shit, I actually found one:

“I will give you rest maddafucka!” (Exodus 33:14)

rest

If you have to be awake, I hope you at least enjoy this thought:-D.

MacNCheezus OP , 5 months ago

Yeah, come on, we all know there’s no rest till Chronicles (1. Chr. 22:9, that is).

After that, it’s another long haul till Matthew 11:28.

Time to knock back one of these bad boys and get crackin’

https://lemmy.today/pictrs/image/f129132e-f9f7-4a8a-ad93-2e82e21759ca.jpeg

OpenStars , 5 months ago

Holy moley now that’s a drink! :-P

MacNCheezus OP , 5 months ago

Refusing it would be unforgivable.

OpenStars , 5 months ago

Ephesians 5:18: put it in you.

MacNCheezus OP , 5 months ago

What I got, you got to give it to your mamma
What I got, you’ve got to give it to your pappa
What I got, you got to give it to your daughter
You do a little dance and then you drink a little water

RHCP 5:9

OpenStars , 5 months ago

Who are you who understands life, the universe and everything so well?

spoilerAre you 42?

MacNCheezus OP , 5 months ago

I am, in fact, 42. And I finally understand it well enough to understand that I don’t understand anything at all.

OpenStars , 5 months ago

Ah, the true beginning of wisdom then! A bowl is most useful when empty, and so on.:-D

MacNCheezus OP , 5 months ago

Depends on whether you’re hungry…

Just don’t fill it to the brim or it will spill

OpenStars , 5 months ago

Naw, if you are hungry I have found, over many years of trial and error, that it helps to put the food into my mouth.

MacNCheezus OP , 5 months ago

In my humble assessment, that only helps if you follow it up by chewing and swallowing it.

OpenStars , 5 months ago

Just don’t put it back in the bowl after that:-).

MacNCheezus OP , 5 months ago

Unless it’s a toilet bowl…

OpenStars , 5 months ago

At which point we’re back to it being most better-er-est-ish for it to be empty! :-P

The power of flush compels it.:-D

MacNCheezus OP , 5 months ago

Sorry, the correct answer was “if it’s a toilet bowl, you shouldn’t be eating from it”

OpenStars , 5 months ago

Don’t tell me what to do! (Help, skibidi is holding me hostage!?) :-P

FlyingSquid , 5 months ago

https://y.yarn.co/1a3b9f17-e11d-4419-ad80-8caf2b836c3f_text.gif

MacNCheezus OP , 5 months ago

No.

Isaiah 30:8-14

FlyingSquid , 5 months ago

You wouldn’t be suggesting that all Jews are Israelis would you?

MacNCheezus OP , 5 months ago

deleted_by_author

FlyingSquid , 5 months ago

Yep. That’s what I thought. You do not get to make all Jews responsible for Israel’s apartheid and genocide. You’re taking a break from Lemmy Shitpost.

flambonkscious , 5 months ago

If this constitutes suffering,then clearly not!