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robocall ,
@robocall@lemmy.world avatar

I shit every day and can’t stop. I can’t control myself and my desire to shit is so strong, I find myself putting it before my family, friends, job, I’ll even wake up in the middle of the night with the need to shit sometimes. This addiction impacts my life every day. If I don’t shit, I start to think about it and worry.

ElBarto ,
@ElBarto@sh.itjust.works avatar

I’ve got the solution!

Not eating!

Never eat a single thing again and you’ll never have to be burdened with having to shit ever again!

It’s free, easy and you’ll look great as well!

feck_it ,

Until the day you die!

gravitas_deficiency ,

Bro you just gotta hold your poop in

someguy3 ,

We went from 3 days to infinity?

idunnololz ,
@idunnololz@lemmy.world avatar

*until you die. Which I assume is not too much longer than 3 days.

someguy3 ,

Yeah but this is for all humans, so forever. (I guess you could say they would all die though.)

Kolanaki ,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

Slogan should be “put a cork in it.”

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA ,
@HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world avatar

Tampons work surprisingly well.

Agent641 ,

How many do I need to eat for it to work?

over_clox OP ,

Eat?

LordOfTheChia ,

There’s support groups for that.

dutchkimble ,

We need VaPOOrise

ArugulaZ ,

I always leave it behind me. That tends to happen when your digestive system ends with your backside.

ininewcrow ,
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

ALL HAIL DIARRHEA!

brassorchid ,
@brassorchid@kbin.social avatar

gotta do as much disgusting shit as possible for the creepy watchers. this is what they get.

kerrigan778 ,

But when will I use Lemmy then?

lugal ,

Are you unemployed?

dylanTheDeveloper ,
@dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world avatar

I prefer the term freelance CEO

kerrigan778 ,

I work in the food industry. Only time I’m on Lemmy at work is breaks/bathroom

LemmyKnowsBest ,

I may be accidentally joining this … um… movement

because I’ve been procrastinating squeezing out a loaf I’ve had in the chamber for a couple hours

feck_it ,

Not much a movement then. Hopefully you got that loaf out by now.

LemmyKnowsBest ,

OP proposed a movement.

And I need a bowel movement.

LemmyKnowsBest ,

update 12 hours later I finally got it out! Yeah that was an uncomfortable 14 hours.

over_clox OP ,

I’m sorry, I’m confused. Did you get 12 or 14 slices out of your loaf?

I keep mine in one piece, ever since 2017, just in case I need an emergency loaf.

Lemminary ,

I’ll be sending TP! Thoughts & Prayers 🙏

JoYo ,
@JoYo@lemmy.ml avatar

wait until they learn about eating. fucking revolting.

parpol ,

I love shitting. Y’all are afraid of a simple four letter word. Sure, it is weird, but to each their own! It is not like real toilets are harmed. There are no studies that shitting is harmful, rather it takes away the urge before it does any real harm!

dylanTheDeveloper ,
@dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world avatar

Nice try shit tard. I’m saving my turds in my bowels

Da_Boom ,
@Da_Boom@iusearchlinux.fyi avatar

You know its possible to hold turds for so long you start vomiting shit.

reagansrottencorpse ,

I believe I recall a South Park episode about this phenomenon.

fossphi ,

It’s not the shitting which annoys me, it’s the wiping. It’s frustrating and such a time waste

original_reader ,

You will find a bidet to be your personal saviour.

over_clox OP ,

Wait, you wipe? I thought 2024 was supposed to bring in anal dry cleaning…

dylanTheDeveloper ,
@dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world avatar

Yeah I’m a HAS-been supporter and I’m PROUD

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