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southernbrewer ,

I read this in Cave Johnson’s voice.

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I’m sorry, is that supposed to convince me not to eat the watermelon?

get_the_reference_ ,

I’m convinced that this is the Shredder origin story.

finkrat ,

Probably facilities cleaning up the food lol, bet it’s in the trash

peetabix ,
@peetabix@lemmy.world avatar

Watch yo defamity.

MuhammadJesusGaySex , (edited )

This reminds me of that old story. One, I have tried to live by.

There was an old man with a huge watermelon patch. Every day a group of kids would come over and steal a single watermelon. The old man was furious about the kids stealing his watermelons and devised a plan. He went out and posted a sign in his patch that said “One of these watermelons is poison. KEEP OUT!”

So, a day goes by, and no stolen watermelon. A week goes by no missing watermelons. The old man is just so pleased with himself and his success. But, then he wakes up after about a week and a half and goes to pick some watermelons, and notices that someone has put a smaller sign next to his. He walks over and the smaller sign simply says “Now there’s two”.

BobGnarley ,

Great joke and great username

captain_aggravated ,
@captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works avatar

I remember my freshman year of summer marching band practice, we were rained out and so we all gathered in the band room to practice music, and for some reason the band director decided to tell this joke, but the rain kept getting louder and louder.

thedaylights ,

That’s a powerful image. As though it had been a dream.

subignition ,
@subignition@kbin.social avatar

Deformity

SirSamuel ,

Mmmm, keming

get_the_reference_ ,

And the worse my eyes get, the more fun reading becomes!

someguy3 ,

Just gonna squeeze that r in.

where_am_i ,

oh that’s what they meant!

Guntrigger ,

Yeah, even with the pixellation I can see there’s an or.

Aielman15 ,
@Aielman15@lemmy.world avatar

So, what biology project was it? What were they trying to prove?

Karlos_Cantana ,
@Karlos_Cantana@kbin.social avatar

They were trying to prove that injecting rat urine into a watermelon will prevent it from being stolen. They probably need to rework their hypothesis.

nightwatch_admin ,

This comment is a golden shower of joy

themeatbridge ,

How much rat urine you can inject into a watermelon before people notice.

saltnotsugar ,

Rat Piss Man - Origins, coming this summer.

WaxedWookie ,

But we already know Fred Trump was a shitty father that left Donald a pile of money and a desperate need for validation…

kamenlady ,
@kamenlady@lemmy.world avatar

What we don’t know, is the involvement of Erol Musk, a much more shitty father, in this and how it led to Donald being named Donald in the first place…

WaxedWookie ,

I suppose with Trump’s that natural, effortless shitbaggery that just seems like breathing for him, I shouldn’t be at all surprised he comes from a long line of shitbags.

ThatOneKirbyMain2568 ,
@ThatOneKirbyMain2568@kbin.social avatar

Can't believe they're making an Elon Muskrat movie

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