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TexasDrunk ,

It’s too late for this guy. He didn’t declare a fee schedule and jiggle his left foot 8 times at the time the tickets were issued.

Don’t be like him. Contact me before any interaction with state tyrants for only $750/hr and I will teach you everything you need to know. You can be reimbursed from your straw man account that is held by the government so there’s no need to worry about the costs. Just go to my website where I sell dog bandanas with WWII insignias and click on the “Contact The Real Person” link.

By reading this you agree to the fee schedule posted on my website. Anyone violating this will be held accountable in a court without a gold-fringed flag. I do not recognize the authority of a court that hangs the gold-fringed flag. A flag with gilded edges is the flag of an Admiralty court. An Admiralty court signifies a Naval court-martial. I cannot be court-martialed twice. that is all. Furthermore…

NegativeLookBehind ,
@NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world avatar

So he wants to use a court of law to sue somebody?

Hope he brings the right coupons!

HubertManne ,

if they are not us citizens shouldn't they be deported?

halcyoncmdr ,
@halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world avatar

See the thing is, they are actually US citizens, even if they want to pretend they’re not.

We don’t just revoke citizenship because people want to claim they’re not citizens. The US, like nearly all countries, does not revoke citizenship unless the person has another citizenship, they don’t intentionally make anyone Stateless as a matter of regular policy.

DragonTypeWyvern ,

That’s not entirely true, there is however a fairly specific set of actions you need to do to renounce your citizenship. If you remember the drama around Isis women wanting to return to their countries of origin the legal question a lot of times was whether they had effectively renounced citizenship, not that they had joined a state that America and such didn’t recognize as existing.

The answer was mostly no, btw, they hadn’t actually renounced American citizenship in the way required, not that actual Constitutional definitions or legality matter to the state when it considers you an enemy, which is something these chuckleheads never really seem to understand.

henfredemars ,

You can absolutely sue, but it will be for imaginary money in a pretend court too just like your fake laws.

metaStatic ,

Who the fuck insured this idiot? oh right, fucking no one.

There are ways to do this shit properly but you never hear about it because it's not as funny.

magnetosphere ,
@magnetosphere@fedia.io avatar

If someone steals your “vessel”, contact Starfleet immediately. If it has a cloaking device, though, you’re probably fucked.

verity_kindle ,
@verity_kindle@lemmy.world avatar

Cops with their boat trailers, all ready to claim salvage on the USS Oldsrusty, it ain’t right, I tell ya.

Lydia_K ,
@Lydia_K@startrek.website avatar

get a good lawyer

AFKBRBChocolate ,

The store didn’t accept my monopoly money so I want to personally sue the cashier.

Ilovethebomb ,

It would be even funnier if they weren’t at fault, but still ended up getting their vehicle towed.

I don’t think they’re getting that car back.

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Steal your vessel? What was he, a pirate? Did he have an eyepatch and a pegleg?

T00l_shed ,

Yarr, he flew the jolly roger, he did.

Eheran ,

Poor boat captain :(

stoly ,

I guess you drive a car but travel in a vessel.

ZeroCool ,

These people love their magic words. Of course, they never actually work, but it’s not going to stop them from continuing to try.

stoly ,

These are the people who click on ads that say “the secret health fix your doctor doesn’t want you to know about”.

jordanlund ,
@jordanlund@lemmy.world avatar

I wonder if cops can just hand them a card that says “Your made up rules carry no legal authority.”

some_guy ,

Probably not, but they could definitely say it.

AFKBRBChocolate ,

I funny think any of those guys would listen to a straight “You’re wrong.” Maybe it would be better explaining that they didn’t do their incantations quite right. Like “Oh, that license plate can’t be accepted because it’s black letters on a white background, which puts it in the domain of the department of commerce, who have no jurisdiction in automobile accidents.”

chemical_cutthroat ,
@chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world avatar

Only if I can hand the same card back to the cops.

jordanlund ,
@jordanlund@lemmy.world avatar

Works more often than you’d think:

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/5645f7fe-d392-4e54-ad20-1603e38d4c45.jpeg

metaStatic ,

Lisa, I'd like to buy that rock

A_Union_of_Kobolds ,

I rewired a police station once. Literally the only poster they had up about groups to watch for was about SovCits, exactly how their nonsense “worked”, and how to handle them. It was pretty amusing, as an anarchist who wasn’t keen on that particular job.

TachyonTele ,

There’s a judge that literally wrote the book on how to handle them. I wouldn’t be surprised if they got the info from that.

Ilovethebomb ,

Do you remember any of the tips?

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