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Pazuzu ,

As someone that used to be tasked with clearing other people’s shit at work, here’s how you fix a clogged toilet without a plunger:

first of all DO NOT FLUSH! Stay tf away from the handle on the toilet until the clog is cleared. shutoff the water if possible, there should be a valve between the toilet and the wall that you turn 90°. Even then there’s still water in the tank, so I repeat do not flush!

If the clog isn’t 100% and some water can slowly drain through, leave it for a few minutes and come back. You want the water level in the bowl as low as possible. Next, fill a small trash can with hot water. not boiling, just the hottest you can get from the tap. Now dump that hot water in the toilet bowl. Be quick about it, but not so quick that you can’t stop yourself from overflowing

The hot water and large volume helps break things up. manually pouring you can dump a lot more water in the bowl a lot faster than flushing normally will without the risk of overflowing.

problembasedperson ,

One of my friends read this very same greentext back then when it was new and he told it to our friend group like it happened to him. Everyone laughed their asses off and had him as a person that knew how to laugh at themselves. Years later, while doomscrolling, I ended up watching a Instagram reel of a standup routine with this very same joke. We were devastated when I broke the news that our humble friend spun a web of lies.

Titou ,
@Titou@sh.itjust.works avatar

In this moment you just want to vanish yourself

state_electrician ,

This is such an old joke.

BackOnMyBS ,
@BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world avatar

Classic

FTFY

samus12345 ,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

Almost 9 years old now.

state_electrician ,

No, definitely older than that. I remember hearing it 15 to 20 years ago.

samus12345 ,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

I shoulda said at least 9 years old.

state_electrician ,

Yeah, you should have. This will haunt you to the grave.

aquinteros ,

isn’t this a jack Whitehall bit? i wonder who invented it

Dasus ,

Most likely it’s not authored by him either. Doesn’t seem terribly creative, him.

funkless_eck ,

Jack Whitehall is famed for writing very little of his own material.

Dasus ,

Yes, I was trying to put it politely that he’s a fucking hack.

aquinteros ,

I had no idea

DannyMac ,

Okay, this made me laugh out loud

jdf038 ,

Family member: “what’s so funny?”

Me: “snort titta”

(I didn’t show them the comic I have self respect)

psud ,

5-flush shits. Not a lot of fun with a slow filling cistern

Thcdenton ,

Legend

corsicanguppy ,

I liked when Bert told this one better in his comedy routine. I saw it on YouTube because it’s everywhere.

RecluseRamble ,

it’s everywhere

While that may be a link would be much appreciated.

Dasus ,

www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAEASKgfTrI

First off pretending there’s an actual language barrier in Europe where everyone in a service job speaks English is quite dated.

sukhmel ,

Oh, that would depend a lot on what country you’re in

Dasus ,

I wouldn’t really stress the “a lot” there, really.

You won’t have to go far to find an English speaking country in Europe as there are over 370 million English speakers out of about 450 million EU residents!

Granted that is the EU, not Europe in general, but it’s also people in general, of all ages, and not adult people who work a service job. Sure, in some backwater Russian town that is technically in Europe you might have a problem with getting understood in English, but “problem” is “Проблема” in Russian. And that reads as “problema”. “Toilet” is “Туалет” = “tualet”.

So I really can’t imagine a scenario in which you can’t communicate “a problem with the toilet” without dragging someone in to the loo and shoving their face in your pile.

sukhmel ,

Well, if we reduce the requirements from knowing English to being able to understand “toilet! problem!” then of course.

Non-english speakers are not evenly distributed in different countries, that is why it still depends a lot on where you are searching, and in places where there’s almost no demand for speaking English, there will be much less people working in services speaking English.

English proficiency map showing more than half of Europe has moderate average proficiency in English

For instance, you can take a look at Wikipedia’s list of countries by English speaking population, Italy has ≈13% of speakers, Spain has ≈22%, Bulgaria, Hungary, Slovakia, and Portugal all fall between 25–27%%

And it’s not like you can just go and every fourth will be speaking English fluently, I would expect most of them to be in big cities or capitals.

Dasus ,

And it’s not like you can just go and every fourth will be speaking English fluently

And it’s not like only 13% of Italians speak English. 13% of them identify as having a certain level of skill in English.

There’s a massive difference in having enough of a language to communicate basic things to customers in service jobs and being fluent. When I was working in taxi dispatch, some 15 years ago, we had a few 60-70 year old women who would say they don’t speak a lick of English. Yet because they know their job and the interactions and have common sense and live in a world where you can’t really avoid being exposed to English, they would manage basic level orders, but they preferred saying just “moment” and transferring the call to me or someone else who spoke English better.

The point here being that even on the telephone, these non-English speaking service workers managed to handle basic things in English.

Now think about the fact that for Italy, tourism brings in about 10% of their GDP.

If you think there’s a cafe you can go to in Italy where you won’t be served a coffee when you say “I’d like one coffee please”, please let me know.

The requirement for this “hilarious” joke, especially if we take OP’s greentexted version isn’t fluency in English. It’s about communication on a Swedish ferry. And they’re not really Swedish as much as Finnish&Swedish.

I live at the Finnish end of the trip, in Turku. I’ve been on these specific boats (yes, the one in the picture as well) several times.

First off, the dude wouldn’t be able to find staff like that, he’d literally have to walk several decks to the nearest employee in all likelyhood, unless this is happening right when they’re getting to the harbour.

Secondly, the nearest employees would probably not be native Swedish speakers, as the cleaners who come to clean the cabins in the harbour are mostly immigrants, as it’s not a very respected job.

Thirdly, if he wasn’t in harbour, he’d be speaking to the actual crew, who literally have to be able to speak English as a part of their job requirement. (I’ve read Viking Line’s wanted ads.) Not only that, they strongly prefer you to be able to speak all three; English, Finnish and Swedish.

What kind of a fucking caveman would one have to be to not even try to speak English before dragging someone into their cabin to show a shit to them. Which would be very hard, given that the crew aren’t cleaners and they wouldn’t follow you several decks down to see your shit, all in utter silence while you refuse to even attempt communication, despite the member of crew definitely saying something like “what can I help you with”.

samus12345 ,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

Wow, the UK and Turkey (I’m not spelling it that way) have the same proficiency in English! /s

slaacaa ,

I met a cleaning lady in London who couldn’t speak English.

It happened last year in a nice hotel, and I found out as tried to ask for a towel.

Tbh it was kind of funny to think about it later, the one place you would not expect this to happen is London, yet it’s the most logical place that this would happen due to the insanely high demand for workers for these jobs.

aggelalex ,

👀 Titta

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