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Anon is no angle

>be me
>lifting in the garage
>mom walks in with a plate of tendies with chinese sauce
>always told mom to not to come to the garage while I lifted
>always told mom to never look me in my eyes while I lifted (its where my demons hide)
>she made eye contact
>the plate fell from her hands
>the young man she had been raising had turned into a FUCKED UP beast
>she covers her mouth with both her hands as she lets out a yelp
>turns around and runs away
>put the rusty barbell down
>calmly walk up to the mirror and smash it as I see the beast too
Gosh dang it /fit/, we were gonna go shopping this weekend. What do I do now?

RampantParanoia2365 ,

I am so lost.

OneWomanCreamTeam ,

Anon is telling a satirical story about how primal and intimidating they are now that they lift weights.

Big_Boss_77 ,

Is it…actual satire though? Or does homie actually think that way?

Gullible OP ,

I take it you don’t lift. It can be difficult for the untapped to understand our mindset. Me btw https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/72ad72f1-0cb1-4aeb-854b-a27a9d838d8b.jpeg

YungOnions ,

On today’s episode of ‘Bullshit that Never happened

PatMustard ,

Do you go to the fantasy section in the library and shout “fake!” at all the books? It’s a greentext, nobody is assuming this story is real, detective!

Sanctus ,
@Sanctus@lemmy.world avatar

Theres only one option now, Anon. Pick that bar back up.

tetris11 ,
@tetris11@lemmy.ml avatar

And put it down. And then pick it up again.

InfiniteStruggle ,

I can’t say if this is satire.

MrJameGumb ,
@MrJameGumb@lemmy.world avatar

WTF is “Chinese sauce”?

TxzK ,

A sauce of Chinese origin one would assume

MrJameGumb ,
@MrJameGumb@lemmy.world avatar

As one might get with a succulent Chinese meal? At McDonald’s???

bionicjoey ,

Ah yes. I see you know your Judo well.

Blue_Morpho ,

Szechuan sauce. Subtle Rick and Morty reference implying he’s a neck beard fanatic.

MrJameGumb ,
@MrJameGumb@lemmy.world avatar

Do they even make Szechuan sauce anymore though? Are people on 4Chan just reposting their own stories now or did McDonald’s just give him old rancid sauces?

fibojoly ,

It’s one of the McD standard sauces you can get with chicken nuggets : BBQ, curry or Chinese.

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