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What does the fear of being judged by others hold you back from doing that you would otherwise do?

To be fair I still do these things but only when I’m alone.

Personally I love finding big puddles and then dig drains with a stick or my heel and watch the water flow.

Also love to throw a piece of wood into water and then toss stones high up in the air and try hit it imagining it’s a warship I’m trying to bomb.

Then also without going into details there are some pieces of clothing I would like to wear but don’t because they’re considered femine or gay.

SneakyWeasel ,

Bone gnawing for me. And I genuinely mean that, I find gnawing on a piece of bone insanely calming for me, but it makes literally everyone I talk to insanely uncomfortable. I love gnawing on bbq ribs, chicken wing bones, pork chop bones, T bones. I love bone marrow and trying to dig for it. Family says it’s bad etiquette, though my partner doesn’t mind.

saigot ,

I always suck chicken wings dry if I’m at home. It’s delicious.

DocBlaze ,

not much anymore these days. the older I get the more I realize other people are full of shit anyway and I don’t need their opinions for anything. the only judgement I fear is of law enforcement, so I guess, crimes?

we all like to think we are good people but studies have shown that the number one deterrent for murder is…a very strict and harsh law against murder

PowerCrazy ,

As soon as you leave high school, if not before, you should be your own person. Blaming others for things you want to do isn’t healthy and shouldn’t be used as an excuse.

triclops6 ,

You’re right. And yet people still do it. Hence this post.

bleepbloopbleep ,

True. But not possible for everyone. Hence the millions of therapists out there being busy .

PowerCrazy ,

Yea agreed. Therapy while improving material conditions of society would go a long way.

greendakota99 ,

This comment reminds me of telling a depressed individual to “just smile more”.

PowerCrazy ,

That would absolutely be the opposite of what I’m saying. Don’t do things for others, do things for yourself.

TheGreenGolem ,

Thanks, I’m cured!

can ,

Depending on what OP wants to wear and where they live it could be dangerous.

WhyJiffie ,

Tell this to those that were bullied for being themselves. Not just in high school, but as adults. You’ll find plenty in the comment section.

miss_brainfart , (edited )
@miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml avatar

Pretty much that last paragraph of yours.

I don’t care if people see me as childish, weird, or even dumb. I do lots of things that make me seem all of those things.

But that makes me hesitate for some reason.

I did open up about it to some friends I was sure wouldn’t judge, and it helped a lot.

OnopordumAcanthium ,
@OnopordumAcanthium@lemmy.ml avatar

May i ask what kind of clothes you mean?

miss_brainfart , (edited )
@miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml avatar

Skirts, dresses, thigh highs, crop tops, and just generally the womens section of the clothing store. So many items there that are a lot more interesting than what the mens section has to offer.

OnopordumAcanthium ,
@OnopordumAcanthium@lemmy.ml avatar

Never thought of that before, but you’re right. Way bigger variety of stuff

miss_brainfart ,
@miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml avatar

Right? Women have like twenty different types of tops in all the shapes and cuts imaginable

floppy ,
@floppy@rabbitea.rs avatar

And colours! So many colours.

The material’s always nicer too.

miss_brainfart ,
@miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml avatar

Seriously, if I wear one more sandpaper hoodie, I’m gonna cry

all-knight-party ,
@all-knight-party@kbin.cafe avatar

That reminds me of men's haircuts. If you're sticking to traditional short hair you basically just walk in and go... Okay, how much longer do I want the top than the sides and do I want a fade or a hard line? And that's pretty much it.

Going for longer hair as a guy just gives you so many more options.

miss_brainfart , (edited )
@miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml avatar

I’m so annoyed by hair… I want to let mine grow so bad, but pollen/dustmite allergies and long hair is an awful combination

all-knight-party ,
@all-knight-party@kbin.cafe avatar

It's definitely got a lot of caveats. For me, it is annoying to need to put my hair up every time I eat, otherwise I eat my hair. But I love the way it feels moving around and if you have any social anxiety it conceals your face when you look down, which can be helpful as an instant hideaway.

But yes, it is definitely many times less manageable than short hair. However... I don't have bedhead ever!

miss_brainfart ,
@miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml avatar

Feeling my hair in the wind was definitely the best thing about my short-lived long hair adventure, gotta say

cubedsteaks ,

just be sure not to pull your hair up too tight and you’re good

cubedsteaks ,

I really love that some guys look at women’s clothing and think “oh that’s more interesting”

I totally agree. My wardrobe is gigantic cause there are so many things you can do.

miss_brainfart ,
@miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml avatar

More men should just wear whatever, tshirt and jeans is really getting boring, isn’t it.

cubedsteaks ,

Yes! I use to be a shirt and jeans person. Then one day I realized jeans made of denim aren’t all that comfy. And I could dress up more! And that actually there’s all kinds of stuff out there I can look good in.

miss_brainfart ,
@miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml avatar

I just need some of that confidence of yours, though. Maybe I’ll do a full dress-up on halloween first, so people don’t ask too much, because my god, do I not have the nerve for questions.

cubedsteaks ,

Halloween is the best time to try out dressing up!

miss_brainfart ,
@miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml avatar

Will definitely need someone to help with makeup, because if I do it, I’ll go all out.

On that note, my inner excitement when thinking about going full femme speaks volumes

cubedsteaks ,

I didn’t really learn make up until late in life, like my late 20’s. But I only learned after watching several youtube videos and instagram too. I’d totally recommend just watching people put on make up and imitating what they do. It really is just painting your face by tracing the outlines of your bone structure.

I’m always excited to be hyper femme lol

miss_brainfart ,
@miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml avatar

I just want to thank you real quick for being so encouraging, it really means a lot to me.

Talking about it like it’s the most normal thing in the world is still something I have trouble with, there’s probably lots of internalized stereotypes going around that head of mine.

So thank you, really. It helps a lot.

cubedsteaks ,

No problem! I guess I have kind of ulterior motive though. I just like when guys are more interested in being femme in general. So of course I want to encourage it to be more normal.

miss_brainfart , (edited )
@miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml avatar

You should. No reason to call it an ulteriour motive when people have expressed the interest themselves already

Sometimes they just need a little nudge. Or a big one. Either way, keep doing what you do, you’re awesome

cubedsteaks ,

Thanks and I will!

not_amm ,

I’d be more comfortable with physical contact. I’m NB, but most people still perceive me and treat me as a man (even though I’ve said many times that I’m not) and that comes with the stigma of keeping distance.

I also love to play with LEGOs, it’s kind of therapeutical I guess. It’s just me, talking about random things. It’s the same with videogames, I mostly play RPGs, but it isn’t as “weird”.

BTW, while I’m non-binary, I’m still involved in man’s problems because I live them for my appearence. I also help some male friends with their problems with masculininty and feminism, so they don’t end up being redpilled alpha sigma males lol

irmoz ,

Singing

Monster96 ,

Basically everything. Telling a joke that I love. Showing excitement for something I love. Doing my silly voices; especially my batman and girl voice. Taking my shirt off. And so much more. Damn social anxiety and confidence issues.

Mothra ,
@Mothra@mander.xyz avatar

Having a friend that randomly speaks like batman (or a girl too, but batman) sounds like a lot of fun!

Monster96 ,

The batman voice makes me break out in a coughing fit but I guess so haha

miss_brainfart ,
@miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml avatar

Being able to do both a batman and a girl voice is pretty damn cool. Silly voices in general are my jam, I love doing Stitch impressions

Monster96 ,

I used to be able to do a perfect Stitch impression before my voice dropped. Now I just sound like Herbert the Pervert from Family Guy haha

miss_brainfart ,
@miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml avatar

Somehow, I was only able to do it after my voice dropped. No idea how that works

Monster96 ,

I envy you

miss_brainfart ,
@miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml avatar

I envy you, for the girl voice

Monster96 ,

Ha, it just takes practice. You’ll get it

miss_brainfart ,
@miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml avatar

I shouldn’t complain since I never really tried. So yeah, practice, I guess. Apparently, you need to keep your larynx up high?

Monster96 ,

The best way I can describe it is by using the back of your tongue to compress the beck of your throat. Kind of like just before you cough. Holding it in that position is how I do the girl voice

miss_brainfart ,
@miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml avatar

Okay, now I just need everyone at home to leave, so I can try it in peace

Monster96 ,

Do it while driving by yourself. That’s the best time to practice

miss_brainfart ,
@miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml avatar

Good point. Being alone in the car doesn’t happen very often though.

Ah, what the hell, doesn’t matter. If I do a Stitch voice and a turkey impression in front of everyone, I should be able to do that too.

Monster96 ,

It’s just takes practice, you’ll get there. I’m sure of it

miss_brainfart ,
@miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml avatar

I hope so

thelsim ,
@thelsim@sh.itjust.works avatar

Silly voices are the best, they’ll always enjoyed by your (future) kids/nieces/nephews/etc.
Keep practicing your craft, you’ll find an appreciative audience sooner or later :)

pinkdrunkenelephants ,

Nothing. I truly do not give a fuck anymore.

The key is to accept there will be social consequences and to ignore them. Once people see the consequences they impose do not affect you, especially after they escalate which they will do at first, they’ll stop and accept your behavior.

Uvine_Umbra , (edited )
@Uvine_Umbra@partizle.com avatar

Travel the Caribbean & document my travels & the cultures & concerns of the people I meet with my own eyes

Why not? Well, I’m an actual idiot in reading social situations, Knowing who to trust, inferring details, attempting any meaningful level of reading comprehension on the spot, avoiding the urge to hyper focus on random stuff (makes people uncomfortable sometimes), trying to be humourous in terms of wordplay, and nowadays just avoiding social exhaustion.

Now with all that, imagine the amount of judgement & talking down to I’ve gotten just entering into social events or even bars.

A trip to the Caribbean to understand people?

Not happening lmao!!!

To those of you who can, you’re all blessed.

Fizz ,
@Fizz@lemmy.nz avatar

Probably make videos of interesting things I do. Sometimes I do something and think this is the kind of stuff I watch on YouTube.

lemann ,

Thinking out loud

Gradually_Adjusting ,
@Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world avatar

I have an imp on my shoulder, lot of intrusive thoughts that are only funny to me. I pretend not to have them, and I’d rather just share whatever dog shit pops into my head. But I’m afraid I’d be committed.

Mothra ,
@Mothra@mander.xyz avatar

I don’t pick my nose or fart in public. I don’t lick a plate or use the finger to scoop what’s on it if I’m in company. I also don’t phase out and daydream half as much in public, an exception would be on public transport as everyone is kind of gazing at nothing so it’s not obvious I’m in another dimension entirely.

As for other things, no, I don’t have that kind of filter. I will occasionally stop and stare at that interesting pattern on a tile or leaf, follow closely with attention what the birds are doing, sniff if I sense an animal and see if I can find its trail (possums and rats usually) etc. I still build sandcastles at the beach and if the opportunity arises I’ll scribble on cardboard coasters or paper napkins.

cubedsteaks ,

it’s interesting you don’t daydream in public - I usually leave the house to daydream harder.

Mothra ,
@Mothra@mander.xyz avatar

It’s easier to switch off my senses if I already know my surroundings. Also people who caught me daydreaming teased me afterwards about it, apparently my thousand yard stare and overall unresponsiveness it’s either concerning or hilarious to people.

cubedsteaks ,

That’s annoying! I always assume someone is just deep in thought but I don’t know why I’d give someone shit for thinking.

Reminds me of people who like to say “its not that deep” all the time in response to questions that are meant to spark conversation. Like some people take pride in not using their brains or something.

Mothra ,
@Mothra@mander.xyz avatar

Eh, no biggie! People do that when they don’t experience a similar behaviour themselves.

As for the not that deep crowd, I always thought they’re either self conscious or fear touching a triggering topic. Refusing to engage means they won’t be judged on their opinions or ability to reason and express themselves. Trying to pass a cool is what gives away they’re trying to cover up something.

cubedsteaks ,

I think part of it is them being self conscious but I think it was also just seen as a “cool” way to behave like you said. I often saw this mentality on reddit of course and in various discord servers where people just couldn’t back up what they were saying - so someone else approaching them with an in depth take, just causes them to try and shut things down with “oh its not that deep”.

Like its a very dismissive phrase meant to shut down conversation.

TheWoozy ,

ITT: People who want to cross-dress and relive their childhood. I heartily approve of all of it.

wewbull ,

Anything criminal.

Really don’t need to be judged for that stuff.

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