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etchinghillside ,

I accept it as a part of living.

Zathras ,

As I have gotten older, the frequency of episodes have decreased. In my early 40’s now. I would say it occurs at least once every 3-4 months as opposed to weekly in my teens.

KindaLost ,

Whenever I think of the future I get it bad. Disabled, poor, parents are my carers, couldn’t afford to live on my own even if I could. And every year the bushfires get bigger and closer to home. If I let it it constant dread would become my default state, but I am aware of this and try to focus on the now.

Not to say I don’t do my best to safe guard the future, have plans in place for if I ever need to navigate the things that scare me most. But I try not to dwell on it. Someday my parents will die, failing some sort of miracle I will end up in a care home without my pets. But I might also drop dead tomorrow in which case all my worrying will have been for nothing.

Right now at this very moment things are going ok and the number one thing that makes it not ok is worrying about a time in the future when its entirely not ok. But why meet it in the middle? I can’t change the rivers current, best I can do is try to steer on the odd occasion where the path splits.

doppelgangmember ,

No matter where you’re at just know Gotta get up in the river if you wanna catch the flow ❤️ Crossing The Threshold - Charlesthefirst

Maajmaaj ,
@Maajmaaj@lemmy.ca avatar

I’ve experienced it since 4th or 5th grade. I began embracing it in my teens with the help of nihilism. Now, I usually have the thought of “nothing matters, and we’re all going to die” around 2x a day. It’s really more of a mantra at this point though.

benwubbleyou ,

It depends on where it comes from. There is a defeatism that comes from my cynicism, but there is also the existential dread lying awake at night that I deal with as well.

I’m curious about what specifically it is stemming from? In your post you mention feeling aged out in an industry you have become extremely accustomed to. Do you feel like your value is very much driven by what you do? If you were to be aged out and eventually replaced do you feel like a large part of yourself would be missing?

In regards to how often I experience dread, it can be an every day thing. But it depends on what it comes from. There is the dread from feeling powerless to change my environment or culture I am in, but I have found personally that living to bring joy in the small things helps with that. If the dread is from questioning my purpose if there even is one, it’s the same line of thinking for me as before.

I have no clue if that provides any value but I hope you find peace amidst what you’re going through.

toddalon OP ,

+1 Wisdom

Bunnylux ,
@Bunnylux@lemmy.world avatar

What industry?

toddalon OP ,

Software development

saltesc ,

Never. Life’s continually shaping and changing; was always going to. It’s easy to roll with it and just do whatever. It doesn’t matter if things don’t work out because I can do other things I want.

Maybe become a travelling food critic. Seems fun, cheap, and relaxing.

vis4valentine ,
@vis4valentine@lemmy.ml avatar

At least once a week. Sometimes almost daily.

transientpunk ,
@transientpunk@sh.itjust.works avatar

Pretty much daily. I just want it to end

Bread ,

Ah it is 5:30, time for my evening existential crisis. I have to be sure not to go over again as I don’t want to miss my show.

Clipper152 ,

Depends on what “existential dread” means.

Tigbitties ,
@Tigbitties@kbin.social avatar

Weekly. I'm pushing 50yo too. My industry is dying a slow death.

toddalon OP ,

Not sure to up our down vote lol

can ,

Depends on how we define it. I’ve dreaded my existence most of my life.

RemembertheApollo ,

Not worried about being dead, really. I didn’t exist for millennia, I got my time in the sun, I won’t exist for the rest of time. It hasn’t bothered me.

Dying on the other hand sounds like a painful, grief-ridden, stress filled misery. I really don’t want to have anything to do with a drawn-out death. That’s what bothers me.

Lettuceeatlettuce ,
@Lettuceeatlettuce@lemmy.ml avatar

It comes in waves for me. I’ll feel fine for a few weeks, maybe a month or two, then I’ll be deep in the depths for days, weeks straight. Mostly at night, staring out my bedroom window, contemplating the horror of the abyss.

housepanther ,
@housepanther@lemmy.goblackcat.com avatar

I have to agree with you here because it comes in waves for me as well. But often spread out between 4-6 months and then I’ll get it for 2-3 weeks straight. It’s very unpleasant and I’m sorry you’re experiencing this.

Lettuceeatlettuce ,
@Lettuceeatlettuce@lemmy.ml avatar

Right back at you, yeah it’s rough. I am seeking out getting medication for it but we’ll see.

housepanther ,
@housepanther@lemmy.goblackcat.com avatar

I’ve just started Rexulti, Klonopin, Chlonodine, and Ambien. Even though I’m only 5 days into it, I’m already starting to feel better.

housepanther ,
@housepanther@lemmy.goblackcat.com avatar

I hope you can find some healing and stabilization.

Lettuceeatlettuce ,
@Lettuceeatlettuce@lemmy.ml avatar

Thanks, and to you as well. Best wishes.

housepanther ,
@housepanther@lemmy.goblackcat.com avatar

You’re welcome and thank you as well.,

Rottcodd ,
@Rottcodd@kbin.social avatar

Almost never.

I used to have it a fair amount, and medicate myself to avoid it a fair amount as well, and then just about exactly 20 years ago, in the span of about three days, I started feeling sick, got more and more sick, went to the doctor and discovered I had cancer, and had emergency surgery. Then I went through about six months of really awful chemotherapy.

I definitely wouldn't recommend having cancer as a cure for existential dread, but it worked for me.

Sombyr ,
@Sombyr@lemmy.one avatar

I used to experience it 24/7 a few years ago, before I was medicated for the countless mental disorders I have. Nowadays, I don’t think I’ve experienced it in at least a couple years.

I’ve just decided at this point that I don’t care if my life has any sort of meaning. I still do fun things and have passions, but I don’t do those to give my life meaning, I do it to just feel good for now.

And days, sometimes weeks and months where I wake up and think “I don’t want to do anything. I just want to sit and rot.” I just do that. Makes those days easier to get through. Doesn’t matter if my existence has no meaning for a while. Doesn’t matter if it never does again. I’m just ok with whatever happens.

And one day when I die, I’ll be ok with it. To me, no matter what I do it’ll all eventually fade away with time. Eventually, nobody will remember me. But the particles and energy that made me up will always exist, and the things I did will help determine their final resting place at the heat death of the universe. All I have to do to make a permanent mark on the world is simply exist.

But I dunno. I’ve been off my meds for a bit for various reasons, so maybe I’m just going crazy.

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