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KestrelAlex ,

It really depends on what I’m doing to elicit the comment - I’m often doing silly things, getting enthusiastic about stuff, exploring my environment and other things vaguely “childish” and so would consider cute to be a compliment.

Coming with no context it’s neutral, way better than being called sexy but generally my appearance doesnt need comment.

If I’m upset, or being professional, or an authority than being called cute is 100% and insult.

sentientity ,

I think ‘cute’ has developed a second meaning that is more in line with ‘stylish, aesthetically pleasing, clever’ than the ‘infant baby child/object’ sense of the word but I don’t know how to explain the difference. Probably the person’s other actions and intent and tone. Is someone being condescending in general, trying to frame someone as less than? Or is their body language/conversation style more geared toward a genuine expression of ‘i think you’re cool and like the way you look/your outfit or idea is nice’. I’m short and I get both - there is a subtle but very unmistakable difference between good cute and condescending cute. I feel the same way about ‘adorable’. The condescending usage of cute in my personal experience comes most often from women.

Kuori ,
@Kuori@hexbear.net avatar

not by women. i’d just as soon a man never feel the need to comment on my appearance

HubertManne ,

I feel the same but im a man.

NauticalNoodle ,

As a male approaching middle-age this thread is confirming a lot of my suspicions that I never really had a firm understanding of. -Commenting on someone else’s aesthetic appeal in relation to oneself seems to be an often questionable practice, especially if it’s not someone one knows well.

tiefling ,

Depends on who’s saying it.

  • Creep: pls don’t approach
  • Anyone else: thank you!
RampantParanoia2365 ,

What if you’re a handsome creep in good physical shape?

helpmyusernamewontfi ,

what

sunbrrnslapper ,

Like Armie Hammer?

shinigamiookamiryuu ,

Of course not. It’s not like I’m Judy Hopps.

teawrecks ,

Not a woman, but I think what it comes down to is: the other person needs to immediately know what you mean when you say it without you having to explain it, or else it will be a mix of confusing/unsettling/creepy.

If they use the word “cute” a lot to describe things they like or looks they are going for, then it could be taken well. If they never use it and you don’t either, then it will probably be percieved as unsettling. If they get hung up for any reason on what it means for you to call them “cute” (or any other adjective), then it’s not coming across how you want.

ramble81 OP ,

So what I’m gleaming from this, all other things being equal:

  • objects (clothes, accessories): okay
  • the person themselve: not so much
shinigamiookamiryuu ,

For me, if anything, it depends on intentions. Most often though I’m just told I’m attention-seeking as opposed to cute, even with things like my clothing which consists of the same few things in circulation.

JustinTheGM ,

The word you’re looking for is ‘gleaning’; ‘gleaming’ is more like ‘shiny’.

Vanth ,
@Vanth@reddthat.com avatar

Two of the comments so far mention “cute” as response to clothes/aesthetics. Just two.

Don’t make blanket statements for interacting with women (or people in general) based on two internet comments. Please. Two comments.

Today ,

Like if I walk into work and someone says, “oh your new haircut is cute” or “what a cute shirt”? I’m ok with that.

ShaunaTheDead ,

If my partner calls me cute, yes, I like that. Anyone else, it's very context specific. Do I know you and like you and trust you and your opinions? Then probably yes, otherwise pretty much always no.

Paradachshund ,

Your username is so peak holy shit (sorry, carry on with the topic at hand)

ShaunaTheDead ,

lol thanks!

Kattiydid ,

Like a handful of other people in the comments I never dress up or wear makeup, it’s black pants and a t-shirt for me. It’s usually a graphic t-shirt that is silly so if someone’s like “oh cute t-shirt” sure, that’s fine. But if they’re talking to me specifically cute feels infantilizing. I’m a 33-Year-Old woman, I either look fine, nice, beautiful, or like a deranged raccoon holding a knife.

sunbrrnslapper ,

I often look like a deranged raccoon holding a knife - and am excited the look is catching on! 😉

BudgetBandit ,

I once was on some winter event with a lot of people and a deranged raccoon of the party tried on some hat with double Pom-poms, I told her it makes her look cute, but this is, as some people have already written, context-specific.

Kattiydid ,

It’s the best look!

Carighan ,
@Carighan@lemmy.world avatar

Are those in increasing compliment order? In that case, I can say with confidence that your post sounds like you’re a deranged raccoon holding a knife!

Kattiydid ,

Awww, thank you!!!

xilliah ,

I prefer dirty slut

StaySquared ,

I thought that was only allowed during and maybe even after the fun.

xilliah ,

You mean icecream?

StaySquared ,

Edited. Not trying to get banned haha.

xilliah ,

Getting banned from Lemmy.ml is an achievement in my book. You could start your own instance with poker and hookers 😎

Don_Dickle ,

Used to work at a restaurant in the south. And cute was like saying oh you sweet boy. Or while your doing something a person saying oh aren’t you cute. Kind of has to do with context but majority of the time when someone calls me cute I just look at them in a confused look because I wear scrubs most of the time and no make up or perfume. So most of the time I think what does this person want?

MissJinx ,
@MissJinx@lemmy.world avatar

I was going to say it really depends on who is saying it. A creepy old friend of your uncle’s? Please No. A cute guy you are also interested in? Yes please.

If you are not sure just say nothing. Silence is always a great option

tourist ,
@tourist@lemmy.world avatar

especially in a police interrogation room

xkbx ,

“Alright, we have at least 6 witnesses willing to testify that they think I’m pretty. If you confess and say that at least I’m cute, we’ll let you get off easy.”

“I wanna talk to my lawyer.”

bad cop begins routine

“HOW DARE YOU, THEIR OUTFIT ALONE IS FIRE!”

good cop pulls the bad cop off you

“Sorry, my partner is a loose cannon. Look, we just want to make sure you’ve got good taste.”

yngmnwntr ,

I think I would watch a Fashion Police procedural.

makingStuffForFun ,
@makingStuffForFun@lemmy.ml avatar

Scientifically this has been proven again and again. Good looking saying something, getting something, doing something is acceptable. Unattractive has no access to the same things.

I’ve pondered this a few times now I’m older. When younger the things I could say to women and get a positive response was amazing, compared to now I’m older. I was fit, good looking and cheeky.

It’s just what it is. Attractive always wins. Be it income, access or acceptance (in your example).

I’m OK with my age and not being as attractive as I was, but every now and then the cocky young man in me wants to complement a lady, but I move on. The moment passes. I’ve matured emotionally and happily carry on.

MissJinx ,
@MissJinx@lemmy.world avatar

Oh don’t get me wrong, I’m the Ugly girl!! I also have no chance and ususally guys say “just die” on the internet. It’s not a man problem or a women biases, its a ugly ppl vs pretty people problem

sunbrrnslapper ,

Well, I’m in my 40s, so to call me cute would be weird bordering on rude. But to say you like a piece of my clothing or some aspect of my personality is nice to hear.

HubertManne ,

ok cute is a not go but ok to say you have a nice piece of something.

sunbrrnslapper ,

Piece of clothing, like “I like that shirt” or “cool shoes”.

And aspect of personality, like “I appreciate the perspective that you bring to our team” or “you are a strong writer”.

HubertManne ,

yeah I was just being assy with innuendo.

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