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Shimitar ,

Do not marry the first girl you fuck (or the first boy, either way, mixed ways too, anytype anyway).

Go live with him/her, share an apartment (do not buy together) for months, live together for some time.

Possibly, break up and meet more people, rinse and repeat until you understand:

  • what you WANT in the other person
  • what you EXPECT from the other person

And more important even, learn to understand the other person for what he/she is and not what you think he/she is.

SendMePhotos ,

My old boss once told me: “when you think you want to marry them… First live with them two years… And when you’re sure… Wait two more years.”

Smoogs ,

Until they leave you and find someone else who is ready to commit.

Sometimes if you expect the worst; you make the worst. Get out of your own way.

SamuraiBeandog ,
@SamuraiBeandog@lemmy.world avatar

If you’re in a good relationship but they leave because they couldn’t wait 4 years to get married, then you fucking dodged a bullet. Jesus fucking christ.

Smoogs ,

Someone willing to put up with your shit and commit to you is a bullet to be dodged? Mmmk…

SamuraiBeandog ,
@SamuraiBeandog@lemmy.world avatar

I was with my wife for 10 years before I proposed. We have the best relationship of anyone we know. I know plenty of people who married after a couple of years and are fucking miserable.

Smoogs ,

So you only count anecdotal evidence that ensures your paranoia about people and apply it to every situation. K.

SamuraiBeandog ,
@SamuraiBeandog@lemmy.world avatar

Paranoia wtf? I’ve formed my opinions from my life experiences, are you trying to tell me you’ve done peer reviewed research to decide what makes a good relationship?

Smoogs ,

Well you certainly don’t that applies for everyone. And for all I know you, you could be super negative, project the worst scenarios only and/or you could be the problem in all your relationships and this is the excuse you landed on for maintaining a delusion.

You could be lying about having a wife just so you can ‘win’ an argument online with a total stranger online.

Not a far reach considering your response here.

SamuraiBeandog ,
@SamuraiBeandog@lemmy.world avatar

lol do you always assume anyone who disagrees with you is acting in bad faith? Whst a convenient way to shield yourself from uncomfortable truths.

No wonder you’re desperate to lock someone into a relationship with you asap, you sound nuts.

Smoogs ,

Ditto. As far as bad faith; i nailed you.

SamuraiBeandog ,
@SamuraiBeandog@lemmy.world avatar

lol you’re the one who came in swinging with “for all I know!” “you could be lying!” as soon as I pressed you on a point. That’s the definition of a bad faith argument, you’re not acctually trying to engage with points of discussion you’re just trying to “win” the conversation.

cheers_queers ,

why do you see marriage as the only acceptable form of commitment? just curious. in my opinion it takes more commitment to stay without legal ties involved.

Smoogs ,

You talk about commitment but OP didn’t.

___ ,

Meh, sometimes you just know after seeing who’s out there. I wouldn’t recommend breaking off something good and risking not getting it back because of your insecurities.

Shimitar ,

Indeed, in fact, as soon as the above questions are satisfied, that’s when you stop.

KingThrillgore ,
@KingThrillgore@lemmy.ml avatar

If you’re in the US or generally any country that’s becoming authoritarian, get a passport. You never know how bad it may get.

fin ,

Accuracy is the key

Don’t post anything suspicious when mods are threatening to ban you from a community

mortalic ,

Start buying a few shares of VTI every pay period. Use any left over cash to buy SPYG. Ignore the gains or losses, the market has never not gone up (eventually). Thank yourself later.

Max out your 401k when you get a decent paying job. But make sure you hit every pay period to maximize your employer contribution.

Consider using mass transit where possible, bike if you can, more or less avoid a car/insurance. If that’s not possible get a cheap car like a used Nissan leaf ($7000 in my area, costs a few dollars a month to charge using a wall outlet and extension cord)

Minimize unnecessary expenses like using food delivery services. Meal prep on the weekends and make enough food for a week.

If you do all this for 10 years or so, you’ll be in a really good spot financially. Buying a house will be a decent prospect, your VTI and SPYG will be making money, your taxable income will be small and you will have built up the ability to splurge on things without it making much of an impact on your finances.

I’ve been following the YouTube channel Chris invests and he gives lots of similar advice like this.

Yokozuna ,

Yo those stock recommendations are actually nuts. I just looked at their 5 year and lifetime chats and you’re not lying. It’s 45 degrees the whole way basically.

mortalic ,

Yeah… Closest thing to set it and forget it I’ve found. I usually buy between 1-7 shares of VTI then a share of SPYG every other week. Been doing it for a long time now. Plus the dividend payout on VTI is really good.

MonkeMischief ,

All sound advice, but coming across the extra capital to invest, much less in your 20’s, is a harder prospect than it sounds for most people these days.

I’m not sure if you can get fractionals of SPY or VTI, but $300-500 a paycheck or even a month of money you can’t use on the moment is a hard ask for much of the working class.

It’s less like “Stop the avocado toast and lattés and netflix” and more “If you stopped buying a new graphics card every month you could afford stonks that will be mature when you are elderly.”

Lol like, we aren’t living in luxury and frivolous with our money in the first place, it usually poofs away into food and rent these days. (And gas and the car, if you aren’t in one of VERY few places that are walk and bike friendly.)

But for people who have it. This is a sound strategy. On that note, I have a relative who’s got very few expenses, often broke…and they’re constantly buying new full-priced releases on Steam. This degree of resource mismanagement vexes me so. Lol

grrgyle ,

Start a diary, and review where you’re at in life every once in a while.

d00phy ,

I have two that I always say:

Take care of your teeth. They’re the only set you get. Also they don’t tell you this when you’re young, but all dental care is either preventative or reactionary. They can’t actually “fix” problems. If you have a cavity, that starts you down a road that ends with a crown or implant. Use any dental insurance you have religiously, pay for a good toothbrush (Oral-B or SoniCare), learn to floss properly and do it all every single day.

Second, save now as much as you are able. If you can adhere to it, look into the 50-30-20 rule. One thing it took me too long to learn is, given an otherwise living income, you won’t miss money you don’t see. When savings is automatically deposited from your paycheck, it’s out of sight and mind.

Lastly, just be yourself, and be a good person to those around you.

Valmond ,

Good toothbrush advice (but don’t floss with a string, use those small brushes instead, doesn’t budge the teeth if you have to force the string through).

But for spending? If you have loads of wealth, then why not, but I blew about all my cash I had when I was young, going on trips, partying, eating with people, buying hobby things, checking stuff out…

I don’t regret that a second. I even think most old people would think it priceless just to go back in time and fool around a week as a 20 year old, but it’s too late now for them.

So live right now is my recommendation I guess, without doing too stupid things obviously.

Cheers.

dditty ,

What do you mean by not budging the teeth while flossing? Some of my teeth are pretty tight and I do use force to get the string floss to break through, is that bad?

Valmond ,

Thats what my dentist says yes, I use something like this (but longer and with an angle):

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/34a16357-7752-410d-9caf-f643a4f89371.jpeg

d00phy ,

Not saying to not have fun while you’re young. By all means, go for it. Just pointing out that a small amount of savings when you’re young pays off much more over time. If you wait, you’ll spend your later years catching up!

Valmond ,

Well I sure can put away way more money today than when I was young. Depends I guess 🤷

ulkesh ,
@ulkesh@beehaw.org avatar

Save your money, invest what money you can, and keep in as good a shape as you can.

TheBigBrother , (edited )

University isn’t to get A grades, it is to make connections(contacts), A grades doesn’t assure anything, contacts can save your life.

Mothra ,
@Mothra@mander.xyz avatar

This is too true and I wish my parents raised me under this motto :(

cdf12345 ,

If you can’t make contacts, try eyeglasses.

cdf12345 ,

If you can’t make contacts, try eyeglasses.

dandroid ,

I graduated college with a 3.55. I got my first job through contacts (my sister cut the hair of all the executives’ wives, I including the CEO’s wife). They never once so much as looked at my transcript.

Two2Tango ,

Stop drinking, you’ll save so much money and get ripped with barely any effort 💪💪

Swallowtail ,

Or at least don’t waste it all drinking… I spent so much of my early 20s drinking and playing video games with my friends. While I made some great memories, it was excessive and I could have done a lot more with my time.

dandroid ,

https://c.tenor.com/h-kAnIXl760AAAAC/tenor.gif

intensely_human ,

Practice trusting your gut. Practice it on small things.

One way to do a gut check is to imagine yourself making decision A, then imagine yourself making decision B, and for each pay attention to whether you feel stronger or weaker.

SamuraiBeandog ,
@SamuraiBeandog@lemmy.world avatar

This is terrible advice. Most people’s “gut” reactions are heavily based on external influences like peer group pressure, media influence and upbringing.

Practice critical thinking.

DavidDoesLemmy ,
@DavidDoesLemmy@aussie.zone avatar

Invest in yourself. Be good to the people around you. Set up your finances well early so you don’t have to rush later.

Olhonestjim ,

I’m not sure any good advice I grew up with applies to this future we’re stumbling into. Learn practical skills like gardening and fixing your stuff. Buy as little as you possibly can. An affordable set of basic tools is a great thing to keep for life. Consider the state of the world long and hard before you decide to bring children into it. Never talk to the police.

pH3ra ,
@pH3ra@lemmy.ml avatar

Get accostumed to eat your veggies, once you hit you 30s your intestine starts revolting if you don’t give it healthy food

ChonkyOwlbear ,

Young guys, invest in a good bed. Back pain sucks when you get older, so taking care of your spine early is important. Women are also much more likely to sleep with a guy that has a comfortable and inviting bed.

dan ,
@dan@upvote.au avatar

You’re in your bed for around a third of your life. You deserve a good one :)

intensely_human ,

There’s so much more to spinal health than just the right bed though. If you want a healthy spine you want to be doing tai chi and dancing and learning proper lifting form and taking collagen supplements, doing compression, staying hydrated, etc etc

ThoGot ,

taking collagen supplements

Yeah, no. You don’t really absorb collagen/gelatine in your intestinal tract

Katrisia ,

Creatine instead of collagen, if you ask me. Creatine helps build muscle. Muscles keep everything in place (which is especially important in case of hypermobility) and they relieve work from other parts.

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