I worked night shift in a metal fabrication shop about 11 years ago.
Two bastions of humanity figured out that they could light an oxyfuel torch and adjust it to a neutral flame, snuff the flame out of a glove or something, and then use the torch to fill a plastic sandwich bag with a perfect mixture of oxygen and acetylene. They would then place this bag somewhere and light it on fire, which made a lot of noise. They had great fun until they tried it with a small office-sized trash bag. The word of the day is brisance. It made a tremendous bang which cracked some glass in the shop, but of course our two heroes were caught in the blast amd burned, because a sandwich bag made a loud pop, but a trash bag was more of a bomb. They lit the trash bag like they did the little bags, by holding a lighter to the plastic.
We had another shop in the chain I worked for fire everyone for doing that when I was a mechanic. There were no injuries but the neighboring businesses called 911 because they thought there was a bomb.
I was at an xmas party one year where the workshop boys did this with an upturned 44 gallon drum. It was the loudest bang I’ve ever heard. I thought we were under some sort of attack.
They expected the drum to launch a little but what actually ended up happening was the upturned metal bottom blew off and launched a LOT punching a hole in the workshop roof. It’s a miracle that nobody was hurt (their hearing probably was). Somehow they didn’t get fired.
I was invited to a rural party for new years, I’m pretty sure it was 2003-2004. I drank entirely too much, and saw some friends crushing beer cans, and was inspired. I found an old 55-gallon steel drum, put a bunch of water in it, and rolled it into the bonfire. Once steam was shooting out, I put the bungs back on it and rolled it into the pond. After a few minutes, there was a metallic “bang” and the drum was folded in on itself.
The guy who invited me to the party told everyone for years that I used my head to crush a steel drum.
Last time (and first) i went to therapy i was low on money and because of our insurance i “only”(be warned, veru european amounts ahead) had to pay my “own risk” clause which sat at €385. But i REALLY needed some form of help during that time, i had some job interviews and i was physically unable to drag myself to them.
I got about halfway and just break down completely, so i was desperate and literally stuck in life from my point of view.
So i went to therapy with my last money and ended getting 3 sessions and a “we can’t help you there is nothing wrong here’s the bill tho”.
I still don’t know how i managed to get out of there, but i can still feel it pulling in the background…this constant dragging brake.
I don’t think psychadelics can get me out of this, i tried weed once and man did i have a bad time. I’ve always had this: “i wouldn’t mind not existing/suicide would be great right about now” kind of brain and the weed didn’t help the worse part of that battle.
I’m in the same spot you are in. I can’t even force myself to apply to jobs. Only reason I’m not homeless on the street is my friends and family. And it terrifies me that I’m gonna get the same treatment.
Weed is barely a psychedelic, and it shouldn’t be used as a litmus test for what mushrooms or LSD are like. I credit LSD with helping me recover from heroin addiction, and later it led me to a spiritual practice that has greatly enhanced my life. It isn’t a magic pill, but LSD and mushrooms can shake you out of your fixed perspective to help you see things differently.
For me, it made me realize that I didn’t want to escape life, but rather find a way to be more deeply invested in it. It made me want to find tools to pursue the mystery of the reality we all live in. It helped me have honest conversations with friends that in turn led me to a better understanding of who I am. And finally, taking LSD and going to the opera is one of the most beautiful experiences I have ever had in my entire life, and I highly recommend it to any experienced tripper who knows themselves well enough to handle it safely and respectfully.
It was a catalyst that opened up a richer way of living for me, but I don’t think it would have had that impact if I hadn’t followed it up with other tools like meditation, ceremony, talk therapy, and studying philosophy. That said, I never would have done those things without my experiences on LSD, and to this day, I still take some every few months to boost that feeling of wonder.
Any medicine can be abused, but they are intended to heal. I firmly believe LSD is a very powerful healer, and sometimes it is exactly what you need to see through the trance of reality we all get stuck in sometimes.
Therapy is the biggest scam/grift that isn’t religion or politics. I put it on the same level as Astrology for it’s usefulness and scientific legitimacy.
It’s just yet another money vaccun to suck you dry.
When was the last time they cured someone? That’s right never because to cure someone would stop the money train rolling in. They expect you to go to them forever. Fuck em all.
As a person who went to therapy, it helped me develop as a person, and I think everyone should try it, but sucks what happened to you, hope the best tho :)
Mental health care in the Netherlands is really terrible. I’m surprised you even got 3 sessions without being on a waiting list for months first. I guess you went to a ‘praktijkondersteuner’ at your GP? Those know fuck all and really aren’t any help. I had one literally tell me “usually I help people figure out what’s bothering them and once they know they can solve it, but you already know what’s bothering you, I can’t really help you”. Then I was put on waiting list for months, talked to a different guy for 1 hour, back on another waiting list for months.
At one point I literally called them and asked why it was taking so long (after waiting for months) and they said: oh, we have an opening next week, you can come then. Like, WTF, if you had an opening, why did I only find out after calling when you have a literal list of people waiting for evaluation? In the end I went to a psychologist (one of those ‘Sjakie’ types) for a year or two, which didn’t really help at all. Until they told me they couldn’t do anything more for me.
I get the feeling that if you want real help you need to go to a private practice an pay for everything yourself, which is crazy expensive.
I’m very bad with names, but our huisarts had a in house guy presumably that praktijkondersteuner and i had a couple talks with him about potential causes of what was causing issues. He noticed me being hyper aware and asked some stuff about my past which led to him sending me to the nearest psychology “clinic” which was covered under insurance but they are operating at “for profit” and will be aiming to get you out of there asap. I was warned about them but they were the only one within reach as we were very limited in travel distance.
I can’t really remember what we talked about during those 3 sessions but it was clear that her supervisor took over control as she was the one who very clearly and straightforward told me our sessions would be cut off.
Tbh it sort of felt like i was causing her issues leading to her supervisor having to take over control. It’s odd how i can’t remember what we talked about but i do remember the feelings that passed during those sessions.
To be fair, it was the largest cavalry charge in history. Between 30 and 40000 horsemen charging is insane. To put that into a comprehendible context, the charge of the rohirim you see in the Return of the King had 5000 horses. The largest charge in the Napoleonic wars (iirc) was Murats desperation charge at the battle of Eylau with 11000 cavalry, which somewhat won the day and is considered one of the great cavalry charges in history.
This charge was 3 to 4 times larger. It was truly a hurricane of vengeance.
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