Let’s say it takes half a second to copy/paste and submit the message. That’s 50 seconds saved, round it to one minute. You’re only doing it once, so let’s cross over to yearly. According to the Munroe Automation Scale, you can spend up to 5 minutes on it.
I’d say that code took about 1 minute to write. Maybe 2.
Caveat: This is all written assuming the message is being written on a computer with a real keyboard. But if we’re assuming this is written on a phone, then my analysis doesn’t apply, but then again, writing a java program to execute in your messaging app is also a terrible idea. Which means we’re suspending disbelief, so I choose to believe that a computer keyboard and shortcuts are available.
Type the phrase once. Select all. copy, paste, paste (the first paste replaces what you already have highlighted, the second paste adds a second copy). Now you have 2. Control + A, Control + C, Control + V… Now you have 4.
It will take you only 7 cycles of this get 128*, you only need to copy/paste it one by one if you want to send each message separately. and even then, it’s would purely be copy the original, then paste, send, paste, send, paste send, paste, send.
Assuming you can hold down control and just hit ACVV 7 times, that’s 28 keystrokes. I’d bet I can get that done in 5 seconds or less (i tried it, it’s less than that), so now I only save 5 seconds. Which means I only get 25 seconds to write the script. Which he chose to write in java for some reason?
[print(“I’m sorry”) for x in range(0, 100)] is actually a script I could write in less than 25 seconds.
*And I disagree with the “reason 4” given. She didn’t say “exactly 100 times” she said “100 times before I forgive you” and to me, “before” implies >= and not ==. So if you drop it in 128 times, that exceeds the criteria. No one has ever rescinded forgiveness for receiving extra apologies.
I feel like when you title your post “Hilarious”, you’re being sarcastic. Are you, perhaps, aware that this is actually pretty unfunny? Yet you posted it here nonetheless.
There’s another verse of the bible that says “all things are possible with god”
However…One thing the bible is pretty consistently against is liars, cheaters and thieves.
To be a mega-church preacher, you need to be a liar a cheater, and you need to know how to run a scam, so that would fall under the category of a thief.
“Give me all of your money and god will cure your cancer!” obvious scam and a lie.
“Give me all of your money and god will make your credit card debt vanish” is another thing I’ve seen mega-church types say.
The one time Jesus was ever violent was when he flipped tables and used a whip to get all the merchants out of the church. But under 100% of other situations, he literally wouldn’t fight anyone even if they attacked him unprovoked.
Does that sound like the kind of guy that wants a church to be a for-profit business? Mega-churches claim they’re non-profit, but all of them live in giant mansions and own multiple private jets and multiple cars that each cost more money that I’ve ever earned in my life.
I’m non-religious, but I’m more in line with what Jesus wanted people to do than 99% of self proclaimed Christians.
Luke 19:45-46: Then he entered the temple and began to drive out those who were selling things there; 4and he said, “It is written, ‘My house shall be a house of prayer’; but you have made it a den of robbers.”
Yeah, I don’t believe these megachurch pastors believe the word of God at all, or they wouldn’t be in that line of work.
Somehow in being an atheist I’m a more honest Christian than them in that I at least state outright that I’m not a Christian. That’s more honest than pretending to be Christian just to leverage people’s hopelessness to scam them into an even more dire and hopeless situation.
Jesus is actually hiding under my couch right now. When I first saw him down there, I asked him what he was doing there and he said “I’m hiding from the Christians”
The boss upstairs set him up with a pocket dimension with his own utilities down there, but sometimes when it’s just him, the cats and my dog in the house he’ll come up to my room and watch me play video games.
He doesn’t like my taste in video games, he’s put off by the violence in a lot of them. But when I showed him video-essays on how “the flood” works in halo, he compared it to the bullshit megachurches are always doing, how they infect people and extort them into giving up their money.
Jesus is a really cool guy…modern day Christians on the other hand…that’s another story
99% of self proclaimed Christians hate megachurches.
If the figure is that high, it gives me hope. I wonder if there’s data on this somewhere.
Megachurches are definitely among the “principalities and powers” we struggle against.
If they’re not outright thieving, they’re just self-help seminars preaching about how “Jesus and Americanism are actually totally compatible for realsies.”
Consider all of the nations with Christians, and all within. You have large denominations like Roman Catholics who make up the largest portion of Christendom, a sizable amount of Orthodoxy and then protestants. Protestantism itself is divided into denominations. You have classical protestants which also rule out megachurches, such as the Anglicans/Episcopalians (Anglican communion forming the third largest Christian communion) Reformed/Presbyterians and Lutherans. Maybe a little sprinkling of Moravian and Methodist in there. Then you have evangelical Christianity with Baptists, non denominationals, some pentecostals. There’s low church baptists who again would mostly be anti megachurch. Imagine your small rural congregation “me and my KJV” type.
Generally to get to the megachurches you need to go down the pentecostal/charismatic side of the non denominationals. Sure there’s a sizable amount, but when you put all of Christianity in perspective, you can see it’s a small slice.
22“Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’ 23“And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; DEPART FROM ME, YOU WHO PRACTICE LAWLESSNESS.’
Matthew 7:22-23
I shudder to think of how these types have deluded themselves. To think they’d meet their Creator and say something like:
“Look, Lord, I know we locked the homeless out during a blizzard and used desperate peoples’ resources to buy a private jet, and undermined the Gospel’s perception across the entire world at every turn…but we raised so much money…for YOU!”
“Give me all of your money and god will cure your cancer!” obvious scam and a lie.
“Give me all of your money and god will make your credit card debt vanish” is another thing I’ve seen mega-church types say.
Incidentally, there’s a conjecture around Christian circles I’ve seen that says these kinds of actions are what the phrase “thou shalt not take the lord’s name in vain” actually warns against.
Not cursing, as it has become commonly associated with, but the literal act of using the lord for vain purposes. Like saying “Give me your money and god will cure your cancer”
They should just release a version of the Bible word for word, except the title of the book would be “Liberals Guide to Life”, and watch them all go crazy over the nutty stuff in there.
This is terrible design. You’d want it oriented vertically (gravity is basically free energy!) And some unacceptable loss-of-camel may occur due to circular saw use instead of a complementary-conical camel-squisher.
Whilst I enjoy the design with saw blades for added gratuitous violent exterior, being technically correct on the internet just trumps that. It’s simple aesthetics mate.
Given the amount of force and level of violence it would take to make that happen, I’d think the needle would get destroyed or pushed out of place pretty quickly.
You’d need to embed the needle halfway through the tube, and it would have to be flush with the rest of the tube. And it’d need to be a thick ass tube.
You’re also going to need to strain the bones and cartilage out, and pulp them.
They probably figure if they treat a camel like they’ve been treating the rest of the world and the people in it, it might prove they’ve got a chance! Lol
Christians are so desperate to ignore Christ that they literally made up a gate that they called The Eye of the Needle and said that’s what Christ was talking about. This gate, which definitely never existed and was not at all what Christ was referring to, was supposedly a bit narrower than other gates and a camel could get through it if it was only carrying a moderate amount of wealth rather than an extreme amount.
It’s still impossible to get a rope through the eye of a needle unless a rope and a thread can be used interchangeably. I’m not much of a language expert to say for sure lol
According to the Lexham Bible Dictionary, “most scholars reject this interpretation because the meager textual evidence most likely can be attributed to speculations about this verse by some church fathers.”
I talked to one of the authors of the New American Bible, who told me the text is a mistranslation, and it’s more like “harder than putting a rope through the eye of a needle”, which would’ve been an idiom familiar to the fishers in the area.
It means “impossible”, which is suitable because the things Jesus called for you to do make a rich person into a not rich person, as far as material wealth goes.
According to the Lexham Bible Dictionary, this interpretation “dates back to the fifth century and suggests that kamelos, the Greek word for camel, should actually be read as kamilos, which denotes a rope or a ship’s anchor cable. … However, most scholars reject this interpretation because the meager textual evidence most likely can be attributed to speculations about this verse by some church fathers (Origen, Cyril of Alexandria; see Fitzmyer, Luke, 1204; Barclay, Matthew, 239).”
They also disagree with the gate interpretation, saying that “Scholars have found no historical foundation for this view, and no evidence supports the existence of such a small gate in Jerusalem’s walls.”
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