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@lhinderberger@mastodontech.de cover
@lhinderberger@mastodontech.de avatar

lhinderberger

@[email protected]

Software Crafter 💾 Night Owl 🦉 AuDHDer ♾️ Democratic Socialist 🌹 (he/him)

I'm probably tinkering with some side project or caught up in a research rabbit hole right now.

I toot mostly about my side projects, FOSS and life as an AuDHDer.

Feel free to make a follow request, but make sure you have a few words about yourself in your bio. Fascists, tankies and other bigots will be blocked when spotted.

#foss #linux #fedora #gnome #go #python #vim #codeberg #neurodiversity #actuallyaudhd

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autism101 , to actuallyautistic
@autism101@mstdn.social avatar

Are you accident prone?

I seem to always have at least one toe that is currently injured from me banging it into a piece of furniture.

@actuallyautistic

photo: @tahreemkhann

18+ lhinderberger ,
@lhinderberger@mastodontech.de avatar

@autism101 @actuallyautistic Yep. I bump into things all the time. Usually its chair and table legs. Earlier this year, I managed to fall over a laundry basket and rip out a toenail in mid-air with the heel of my other foot. 🫣 I'm still puzzled how exactly that could happen. 🫠

vger , to actuallyadhd
@vger@fidget.place avatar

@actuallyadhd @actuallyaudhd

When I refer to my autism, I like to say "I am autistic". Now, I also have ADHD and would like to treat it like that as well. But "I am ADHD" sounds way off to me. Is there something similar for ADHD?

lhinderberger ,
@lhinderberger@mastodontech.de avatar

@vger @actuallyadhd @actuallyaudhd I've started to call myself simply an AuDHDer. In German that would probably translate to AuDHSler, which still rolls off the tongue fairly easily.

AnAutieAtUni , to actuallyautistic
@AnAutieAtUni@beige.party avatar

I really wish I could find the logic in the fact that uncertainty causes me so much stress. Wondering if any other autistics explored this for themselves? Or read about it anywhere?

When I think through those uncertain situations I can see that everything is fine on a so-called “logic” level. But that’s not what is happening within me. Instead, my mind and body are stressed until there’s at least MORE certainty.

I’m just starting to realise how much impact even very low levels of stress from uncertainty brings. It’s influencing decisions I make and may be changing my life in little ways I don’t actually want. I’m not against certainty at all, we all absolutely need it to be healthy, but these occasions of uncertainty seem to be so trivial (e.g. do I move from this room to the next room?).

What am I missing? What is it about the autistic brain that finds uncertainty so challenging? (Bearing in mind I’m AuDHD so of course there’s plenty of contradiction! 🤣)

My goal is to understand it better so I can at least make better decisions, support myself better. While it’s an enigma, I don’t feel I’m able to help myself very much at all.

Has anyone written about this? Any research on it?

@actuallyautistic

lhinderberger ,
@lhinderberger@mastodontech.de avatar

@AnAutieAtUni @actuallyautistic I suspect that this is aggravated by repeatedly experiencing setbacks and trauma, which in turn may be a direct consequence of trying to survive in this world as an AuDHDer. When I think back to ~5 years ago, I was a lot less anxious. Even more so when compared to 10 years ago. What happened in between would exceed the limits of a toot. Having seen what can go wrong can be very paralyzing.

lhinderberger ,
@lhinderberger@mastodontech.de avatar

@AnAutieAtUni @actuallyautistic Also a factor is how cold and unforgiving our society can be at times. One mistake might mean you end up homeless. How much healthier would life be, if we just lived in a society that simply forgives mistakes and missteps and gives everyone not one but many chances to live their life in dignity. It would remove much of the fuel that anxiety runs on in the first place. And it would probably fix a ton of other problems, too.

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