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kryptonianCodeMonkey

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kryptonianCodeMonkey , (edited )

Whether you are an ACAB type or a Thin Blue Line type, you should be in favor of being less dependent on cops for things like basic civil service, mental health care, wellness checks, traffic enforcement, etc. Cops have to wear too many hats. They’re expected to be professionals, experts even, in too many fields. It is not fair to them to expect that level of competence in so many specialties and it’s not fair to the community that needs experts to rely on people who have minimal training outside of arrest techniques and self defense. Instead of 30 generalists in all fields in a community, we should have 30 specialists in different fields. Some cops, some emergency mental health experts, some social workers, some traffic enforcement specialists (yes, this should be separated from general law enforcement), etc.

Edit: Additionally, I believe that separating these duties to different people with different authority, techniques and mind sets will also make it safer for both cops and the public. How many cops are killed during basic traffic stops because a criminal was expecting to be caught or feared the cop’s sidearm? How many innocent citizens have been killed in basic traffic stops because the cop was trained to be afraid for his life? How likely is a civil worker going to be to feel the need for lethal force if they aren’t armed at all times? How likely is an addict going to be to shoot on sight when an EMT knocks on the door for a wellness check?

It’s also counter-intuitive, but cops and the public will be safer when they only have to deal with dangerous situations, when they’re exclusively dealing with criminal suspects. They can rely on their defensive training without worrying about as much situational circumstances. And they’re not interacting with the general public as if their the nails they’re trained to hammer.

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

If we’re talking deities, as in supernatural creator beings, the answer would be yes when they want to be made of atoms and no when they don’t want to be. If they have the power of creation and form reality itself, their nature, both physical and spiritual, would be whatever they choose, right?

If we’re talking non-infinite mind creating a simulated universe that we live in, then it’s more likely that they are made of something, though it may not be atoms or matter as we understand it. They would presumably occupy some sort of physical universe with laws and something like matter to give it physical properties, but there is no reason to assume that the nature of the universe would resemble our own or follow the same laws. Atoms and other forms of matter that we have in our universe may be a construct of our simulation, rather than a constant truth in all universes. And honestly, their universe may not even be physical at all in the sense that we all understand it. The answer is that we don’t know, have no way to know, and may not even have the capacity to understand even if we were given the answer.

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

I’m in tech and “computer programmer” has always sounded to me like a grandma phrase. Like how all gaming consoles are referred to as “the Nintendo” or “the game station”.

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

angry domino logic programmer noises

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

I was hired with the official title “software engineer,” then I was noted in all unofficial org charts as a “SE/DE” (software engineer/data engineer), and recently my boss announced that I have had my title officially changed to “data engineer”. My job functions have not changed the entire time I’ve been here. I write Python, SQL, KQL and Pyspark scripts and have to fuck around with Azure architecture sometimes. So there’s not always clear delineation between these terms, anyway.

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

youtu.be/OpLU__bhu2w?si=ZXToQKl8SbhZni5O

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

Well at least we’re not teaching proper American history to these kids, or they may have realized that what they were doing was monstrous and felt guilty about it. We can’t be making white kids feel guilty, y’all.

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

An arm and a leg? Pfft. What is it, 1997? Inflation my dude. We’re talking arms, legs, and genitals. Not like you’re using them anyway, nerd.

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

Something something spider-man

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

Well you’re just going to have to store it wherever girls store theirs and pee out your butt like they do.

anders , to memes

Brute force protection

@memes

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

And label the text box “username” when it only accepts email address.

Photo agencies are refusing to publish a portrait of Kate Middleton with her children over concerns it was manipulated (www.businessinsider.com)

The Associated Press, Reuters, and Agence France-Presse all released kill notifications to media outlets over the photo — released by Kensington Palace on Sunday — announcing that they would no longer be distributing the image....

kryptonianCodeMonkey , (edited )

It is more subtle, but it looks like both of the other two children are crossing fingers as well. The boy in the middle seems to possibly be crossing his middle and ring fingers on his left hand and the girl is definitely crossing the same two fingers on her right hand. And Kate’s blurry hand on the kid’s waist makes little sense when nothing around it is motion blurred, unless, I guess, maybe she was yanking it away at the moment the photo was taken? But it seems like if that was the case the wrinkle/ fold in his shirt right in front of her hand would be moving too and not be as crisp as it is.

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

And I, as a front end developer, have to put all of those on this drop down list.

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

Her belt size is measured in AUs

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

I mean, it should be fine as long as there aren’t open warrants against you or someone with the same name and information on the passport. Possessing a useless document is not, itself, a crime. It would also demonstrate to them that the document means nothing at all in reality.

kryptonianCodeMonkey , (edited )

Whatcha gnawwing on in the shower, bro? That a three ring binder there, dude?

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

Me: “So, I completed this time critical task a week ago, had it QA tested, and it’s been awaiting approval since Tuesday. I’ve posted my PR with links in the dev chat, I’ve pinged each of you individually each day as well. It is still awaiting approval before I can merge and pick up a new card from our backlog that is dependent on these changes. If literally anyone has the bandwidth to do this review, please do. I’ll post the link here again as well, to make this super convenient for you all, as well as the Jira card for reference, and the changes and requirements themselves are extremely straight forward. It should only take 5-10 minutes, tops. And I will be sitting here useless until it is done. Somebody, please, for the love of god…”

My team: crickets

Scrum Master: “Thanks for the update, kryptonianCodeMonkey… next up is…”

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

If your company doesn’t review productivity, sure…

kryptonianCodeMonkey , (edited )

My Scrum Master is nice, but her role seems to mostly revolve around enforcing documentation standards, coordinating refinements and retrospectives, tracking metrics on task completion, and maintaining our Jira board. She doesn’t have a lot of involvement with the specifics of development, delegation, or how we execute our tasks.

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

That’s the problem. Your bean soup should be thick like mud. Tastes awful that way, but MAN WILL YOU FEEL IT IN YOUR HAIR FOLLICLES!

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

You’ve been in the shower too long with the water too hot. You’ve steam cooked your brain.

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

Harder, better, faster, stronger.

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

Front of shirt: “Went to the crucifixion of Christ and all I got was this stupid T-shirt…”

Back of shirt: “… and absolution for my sins”

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

Listen, strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government.

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

We are getting ready to have to RTO next week. Buy every single person on my team was hired after the company went fully remote and only 4 of us out of 14 are near an office to return to. So, we get to drive in rush hour traffic there and back, not have enough seats/monitors and may not get to be near our team members that ARE there. And, regardless, till have to be on Teams calls all day because the majority of our team is is spread out across the country and internationally.

They won’t even have the cafeteria operational yet, no immediate plans to do so either, nor is it big enough to seat everyone. They will have one coffee shop that they have assured us “serves lunch items”, but we’ll have ~1000 people in the building trying to get lunch and i’ve never seen a coffee shop serve more than one or two sandwiches a minute. So… for the ~120 of you that get fed, congrats.

Also, the nice thing is that they pulled back the original 4 day in office requirement to only 2 days. However, the only reason for that is because they realized they literally cannot get everyone in the building at once and it’s not even close. So, I’m not filled with confidence on the logistics of this.

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

Could have been a monkey paw situation. “Half of all life disappeared, you say?” every living thing suddenly missing their left half “Done!”

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

Pre-orders when you were buying physical copies of a game was, at the very least, a way to secure a copy that may be our of stock for weeks or months after and avoid scalpers. It only made sense to do it on games that you were really hyped about and you know everyone else is hyped about too. Pre-ordering a digital copy of a game is just asinine.

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

If they ever get divorced, family dinner night is gonna be real awkward.

kryptonianCodeMonkey , (edited )

Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson, loves talking about his creepy spy app he and his son have on their phone that alerts the other if they visit naughty sites. So the writers of this proposal and all that vote for it would be happy to put the same program on their devices and computers, right? And tie that straight to a public feed we can all see? Great Great.

kryptonianCodeMonkey , (edited )

I don’t have a problem with their abstaining from porn, having personal feelings about its value or morality, or even using each other to remain accountable. I do think it’s a little dumb to put spyware on your device intentionally and to share with your child when you accidentally fall to temptation exactly what sort of smut you enjoyed. But that’s all them. Not my problem.

As you said the problem is when you’re legislating to restrict others from something you have a personal issue with, particularly when that thing is completely personal. So if they’re going to butt their way into the personal habits or desires of the general public, surely they have no problem sharing their own habits and desires with the public in return. And, in real time. I want to see what senators are jerking it to on their potty break during session.

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

Oops, a Freudian Giant Cock In My Ass. Slip.

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

Chili

kryptonianCodeMonkey , (edited )

Here’s a Midwestern trick for you. Find a lull in the conversation, then use the word “Welp!” and then press your lips together into that flat emoji face 😐. Generally that’s all you need to say to indicate, “regretfully, I need to move on from this interaction now”, and both parties can give their requisite goodbyes before dispersing. If that didn’t get the hint across, throw in a “Alright, well, I’m gonna let you get back to it”, which obviously sounds nicer than “you need to release me from the conversation chokehold you’ve got me in and let me get back to it”, but means the same thing. If they keep talking after that, then they’re the asshole and you can now directly shut down the conversation without the stigma. But don’t forget to apologize for needing to do something other than entertain them and ask their permission to do otherwise, and then thank them when they grant your reprieve. Something like, “Sorry, if it’s alright, I really need to buckle down on this. Can we chat later? Thank you!”

This submissive, conflict-avoidance, time-management solution technique is brought to you courtesy of generations of the painfully polite and non-confrontational interacting with the overly friendly and chatty that defines the culture and the history of the Midwest. In Indiana, that’s as much a daily fixture of our way of life as riding past corn fields stretched to the horizon, the joy of confirming from their license plate that the shitty driver is indeed a Buckeye, and a general obsession with basketball that borders on psychosis.

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

Works every time!

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

Way to not answer the question

kryptonianCodeMonkey , (edited )

What are you talking about? YOU are the one who responded to the question “given you have to work, would you rather have a job you like or a job you hate” with the answer “I’d rather just not work”. I’m aware the vast majority, including myself, need to work. You’re the only one suggesting you wouldn’t work.

The guy who asked you the question was saying that the fact that we have to work is just that, a fact. So how are you going to make that fact more bearable? They were suggesting you should try to find work or a workplace that doesn’t leave you in dread of every work day, or at the very least finding a way to set boundaries at work or make peace with small talk being a part of your day. Those things are not always easy or feasible in the short term, but they’re saying that should be your goal.

kryptonianCodeMonkey , (edited )

Tomorrow’s headline after Trump gets secreted away to a CIA prison: “Trump blacksited by Biden after promoting immunity for POTUS crimes. Irony lost on him.”

kryptonianCodeMonkey , (edited )

The GOP depends on the integrity of the Left to not stoop to their level even when given carte blanche to do so. They’ll openly follow the rules as written, loopholes and all, while the rest of us are following the rules as intended in good faith. Obviously, they’ll also bend or break the rules too, but they’re usually not as open about that as Trump.

Cooking is just applied chemistry

You mix together chemicals and compounds, delicately adding them and heating them at specific temperatures to get a desirable output. You often have to care for other factors like air flow (how much to leave the pot closed or open) and material weight (like not adding too much in a cake or it’ll all sink to the bottom)....

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

You can eat the results of your chemistry class, too, if you’re punk rock.

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

That alley is a very clever mimic isn’t it.

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

New fear, holodeck + alzheimers combo

Clarence Thomas’ Private Complaints About Money Sparked Fears He Would Resign (www.propublica.org)

After almost a decade on the court, Thomas had grown frustrated with his financial situation, according to friends. He had recently started raising his young grandnephew, and Thomas’ wife was soliciting advice on how to handle the new expenses. The month before, the justice had borrowed $267,000 from a friend to buy a high-end...

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

Neither has the salary of the majority of Americans. Federal minimum wage has been decreasing in value due to inflation for almost 15 years.

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

Well. No points for subtlety.

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

Body shaming

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

666th gear

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

Bearer of Lightspeed

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

Two Satans? Double the speed?

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

Lord of Flybys

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