jens

appassionato , 8 hours ago to bookstodon

The End of Everything: (Astrophysically Speaking) by Katie Mack, 2020

From one of the most dynamic rising stars in astrophysics, an accessible and eye-opening look at five ways the universe could end, and the mind-blowing lessons each scenario reveals about the most important concepts in cosmology.

@bookstodon
#books
#nonfiction
#astrophysics
#cosmology

jens , 8 hours ago

@appassionato @bookstodon Do you mean @AstroKatie ?

Susan60 , 1 month ago to actuallyautistic

I had an ADHD event this morning. I used to explain these away or blame them on external causes or other people.

If I’d taken my meds when I woke, I would’ve been fine, but I didn’t. I tried to do too much before leaving for my appointment, jumped on the wrong tram, had to call an Uber, then got confused about the meeting point. Rang my skin guy & was able to rejigger appointment, which gave me time for a decaf & a decompress.

My oldest has always been more philosophical than me on these things, better at accepting that it is what it is and then adjusting. I used to be good at doing that when others stuffed up (but maybe less patient with my oldest) but would get very upset about my own occasional dramas, maybe because underneath my externalisation of responsibility, I knew it was me.

But this morning I just accepted I’d stuffed up, did what I had to do & accepted that I might have to rebook the appointment. Fortunately they were able to juggle. The worst part is causing other people inconvenience. I’m acutely aware of that, maybe because of RSD? (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria)

Uber driver was a lovely Manchurian who has his skin check booked. 😊Currently waiting for anaesthetic to take effect.

#ADHD #actuallyautistic @actuallyautistic #SkinCancer

jens , 1 month ago

@Susan60 @pathfinder @actuallyautistic It's a tough lesson to learn, to not judge oneself too harshly.

I'm pretty sure that it's mostly trauma from NT reactions to our ND moments.

Like, when our daughter has any trouble in school, it's immediately her fault for not fitting in, not the school's fault for not accommodating her needs. And of course the school takes this to us, so we have to balance appeasing them against protecting her from demands that are just not made with her in mind.

jens , 1 month ago

@Susan60 @pathfinder @actuallyautistic I find it so hard not to automatically side with the school, because it's the same story I heard all my life, even though I have evidence right in front of my eyes that, no, this is not the right approach for her.

It's taken me a while, but looking at this reaction of mine in terms of trauma just makes the most sense. At least that POV lets me make better decisions for our kid.

And then it becomes super obvious when I'm hard on myself, that it's the same.

dramypsyd , 1 month ago to actuallyautistic

Dating while autistic problems 🤣

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

jens , 1 month ago

@arcadetoken @dramypsyd @actuallyautistic Not related to this particular phrase, I was once invited up for coffee and replied that it was way too late in the night to have coffee, but I'd come in, sure.

Needless to say, we had a nice chat, and at some point I went home.

In hindsight, both the invitation and my reaction make sense. At the time I was mostly confused by how weirdly that person acted around me the following days.

Jennifer , 2 months ago to bookstodon

I need some new science fiction to read, who has some suggestions? I don't like military sci-fi. For reference, my favorite series is the Expanse, I also enjoyed Scalzi's Collapsing Empire, I love Robert Charles Wilson's books. I mostly enjoy space operas and unique stories about technology, for example I really liked the recent book Mountain in the Sea about AI and intelligent octopus. Suggestions from the awesome Bookstodon community? @bookstodon #Bookstodon #Scifi #ScienceFiction

jens , 2 months ago

@todwest @Jennifer @bookstodon The books are a lot better. The characters and their relationships are a lot more rounded there. And it's a series that... develops. I mean, every book there's something new (more or less), and the characters change with it. It's the development of them and the world, and how the two interact that is pretty well done.

jens , 2 months ago

@Jennifer @todwest @bookstodon Yeah. I watched Season 1, then read the books, then couldn't return for Season 2 because the intra-crew melodrama was too much.

My wife first watched the show, then read the books - from that perspective, the show looks fine.

jens , 2 months ago

@Jennifer @todwest @bookstodon Yup, I saw that while looking over my wife's shoulder. I mean, Drummer and Michio Pa are characters I had some trouble keeping apart, so the mashup makes some kind of sense to me :)

jens , 2 months ago

@Jennifer @todwest @bookstodon Speaking of the end, I think it's a pretty good close to the series. I remarked upon that only a few days ago, and people were saying it feels a bit deus ex machina. Which I agree with, it does... but the characters get a fitting end, each of them. So I forgive that.

jens , 2 months ago

@Jennifer @todwest @bookstodon No, the novellas are still on my list!

LehtoriTuomo , 2 months ago to actuallyautistic

Someone asked whether I ever played Doom. No, not really. I told that I've never liked first person shooters and then it hit me. I never liked them as there's too much going on. In fact, I've never been a big fan of any types of shooters, the only exception being Cannon Fodder. Now, with the new-found autistic perspective, it makes perfect sense. Sensory overdrive all the time equals no fun. How about my fellow autistics, any fans of shooters?

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

jens , 2 months ago

@mcr314 @LehtoriTuomo @actuallyautistic I liked Wolfenstein 3D, Doom 1+2, Quake and Half-Life. I played a bit of Unreal/Tournament and Quake 3 Arena.

And then I didn't like so much what else was happening.

Of course a bunch of modern games are also kinda shooter-y, without exactly being shooters. I do play them, if there's enough to pull me. But when things get billed as a shooter, chances are good I'll hate it.

The most modern shooter I enjoyed was Borderlands.

nettle , 5 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic

Do you have an easier time taking care of the needs of others than yourself?

If so, do you have (or know of) any theories for why you work that way?

jens , 5 months ago

@nettle @actuallyautistic My rather simple theory/experience is that I've been told so much to consider others in response to not reading subtext the same way that I now compulsively consider others to the point there's no time left for myself.

It's a little bit of a distilled summary, but not entirely wrong.

DejahEntendu , 6 months ago to bookstodon

#JustFinished Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

This one didn't hold up well. There were many slurs and some very asinine assumptions.

His dystopian utopia bred people into levels of intelligence and (presumably) drive. Then, forcibly infantilized them during their off-hours with drugs and abundant sex. (I'm not going into the whole squick of the sex games for toddlers and calling having sex all the time a way of infantilizing people...)

🧵

#books #bookstodon #dystopia @bookstodon

jens , 6 months ago

@DejahEntendu @bookstodon Mhh, had the same reaction when we read it in school 30 years ago.

Narayoni , 9 months ago to bookstodon

Religion with its somewhat random rules 😂 🤣
"‘I nearly committed a terrible sin,’ said Brutha. ‘I nearly ate fruit on a fruitless day.’
‘That’s a terrible thing, a terrible thing,’ said Om. ‘Now cut the melon.’
‘But it is forbidden!’ said Brutha.
‘No it’s not,’ said Om. ‘Cut the melon.’But it was the eating of fruit that caused passion to invade the world,’ said Brutha.
‘All it caused was flatulence,’ said Om. ‘Cut the melon!’"
@bookstodon #SmallGods #terrypratchett #reading #books #discworld

jens , 9 months ago

@Narayoni @bookstodon Apropos of nothing, guess what I called my pet tortoise?

jens , 9 months ago

@Narayoni @bookstodon And the only other option would have been Cassiopeia, for what it's worth.

samiam , 9 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic so many thanks to those who have made feel feel heard and welcome here in the past weeks. the story thus far: 41 years of "muddling thru" depression, anxiety, misc mysterious health problems, etc when one day a new friend (very rare!) shared with me that they are autistic, and respectfully asked me if i might be too.
this [re]kindled lots of thoughts and feels and sent me down a path of recognizing and uncovering some fairly autistic-seeming traits and behaviors that i had been ignoring or suppressing. i have lately been thinking of myself as "provisionally autistic" which is how i'm trying to walk this line between, one the one hand, not mentally framing Autism As One True The Explanation For Everything and stretching things to try to force them to fit; and, on the other hand, not giving in to Autistic Imposter Syndrome. i want "provisionally autistic" to be a comfortable in-between place where i can "let myself be as autistic as i am" without "trying to be autistic when i'm not" and just observe myself and see how it goes. if that makes any sense?

but (and this is a question mainly to all you late/recent adult [self/]dx folks out there, but of course also anyone else who wants to respond):
How do you KNOW?
i'm stuck in this place where lots of things seem relatable and plausible but there is no sense of AHA IT FITS. there's no THIS FINALLY EXPLAINS IT. i know it's early for me yet -- i've been taking this seriously for weeks not years -- and i probably have to be patient with myself . . . but ggghhhghg.
maybe i'm just venting? i don't know. i'm having a day.

jens , 9 months ago

@samiam @actuallyautistic Honestly, whether the label applies or not becomes a little less important by now. More important is the question "am I actually not imagining things, and this easy thing is hard for me? Like, feeling exhausted is valid?"

That lets me be a lot kinder to myself, because I have permission for that all of a audden.