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Phoebe

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Phoebe ,

I agree with you.

I think argueing if adhd might be over or under diagnosed makes adulds feel even more ashamed.

I also don’t like blaming self diagnosis. Women having a hard time finding professionell help, cause they never fit into stereotypical adhd behaivor. They seen as overreacting and emotional.

Phoebe ,

Yes. I search a good figdet toy, but all i find online is either shitty or mega expensiv. There is like no way of finding these things in local stores.

Phoebe ,

I knew my gender identity was a lie

Phoebe ,

18€ a month, cause in germany we have the gez gebühren to keep journalism in good quality

Leaked Zoom all-hands: CEO says employees must return to offices because they can't be as innovative or get to know each other on Zoom (www.businessinsider.com)

Leaked Zoom all-hands: CEO says employees must return to offices because they can’t be as innovative or get to know each other on Zoom::Zoom CEO Eric Yuan discussed the benefits of in-person work in a leaked meeting.

Phoebe ,

You have totaly a point there.

I am working in cultural heritage, so creating bounds that last over jobs is crucial. Who are you on good terms with? Who has a strong opinion on topic x? Who could help you with that non profit project? Who can you take seriosly and who is a scammer?

Working with these kind of people can be so amazing.

But cultural heritage is passion driven, a lot of ways to burn out in that feld or do unpaid work. The silent war against big companies is hard.

Phoebe ,

Same with my younger sibling. It was very obvios early in their life, but we didn’t had words for it either. Didn’t understand and didn’t took it that serious.

I had my period with 11 years, but suffered till i was 30. Cause it was a tabu to talk about that. I need to Suffer, i was told. BS.

It is crucial to give kids knowledge that they are not wrong. That they are not weird. That they know everything is okay and their parents are here guiding them. AND they need to know that other people are not weird so they can learn empathy.

Phoebe ,

I wanna eat the real spicy food! In germany everything is watered down so n00bs can eat it🥲

Phoebe ,

Thank you 🥰

When it comes to japanese food, Düsseldorf is really great. Cause i studied there i know some good Restaurants and supermarkets 😆 but i take recomondations all around nrw.

i really want to taste spicy indian food or try other asian food, that is not so common here 🤔

My best friend visited south korea a few years ago. She never liked spicy food, but said it was so good there, she now likes this stuff.

Phoebe ,

This is not a legal passage. It is violating your autonomie and is highly discriminating. Why do i have to explain that in 2023…?

You can sign a contract with problematic passages. Your signing doesn’t make illigal stuff legal. And you don’t agree with illigal stuff just by signing. It is the same with rental agreements or other contracs.

The lore protects people from abuse of power and arbitrariness.

College professors are going back to paper exams and handwritten essays to fight students using ChatGPT (www.businessinsider.com)

College professors are going back to paper exams and handwritten essays to fight students using ChatGPT::The growing number of students using the AI program ChatGPT as a shortcut in their coursework has led some college professors to reconsider their lesson plans for the upcoming fall semester.

Phoebe ,

Sorry but it was never about OUR abilility in the firts place.

In my country exams are old, outdated and often way to hard. In my country all classes are outdated and way to hard. It often feels that we are stucked in the middle of the 20th century.

You have no change when you have a disability. When you have kids, parents to take care of. Or hell: you have to work, cause you can’t effort university otherwise.

So i can totaly understand why students feel the need to use AI to survive that torture. I don’t feel sorry for an outdated university system.

When it is about OUR abilility, then create a System that is for students and their needs.

Phoebe ,

https://feddit.de/pictrs/image/3b3040c7-206f-431a-990a-6c756404d391.jpeg

Phoebe ,

Yeees

Phoebe ,

That woman, queer folk and PoC want too much space in this world.

That there are no obsticals for those groups, they just made them up.

I am not activly thinking that. But everytime i wish to speak my mind i am still asking myself “should i say something? Am i qualifyed enough? Maybe i get called out for being stupid 🥲”

Looking for games with strong female leads for my daughter (even just to watch as I play). Came across this link, but they're a bit age-inappropriate. Any suggestions from the community? (gameranx.com)

Edit: Daughter is only 5 so she’s unlikely to play much but she watches me and as long as it’s not too violent, it should be fine

Phoebe ,

As a woman myself… i prefere a game where i can create my own pc and do my own choices. Cause i dislike the presentation of my gender in many games. But it is changing cause of society moving forward.

  1. A game, for maybe in the future, cause it’s still in early access: little witch in the woods
  2. Immortal fenix rising has a female lead who is saving all of the greek gods
  3. …
  4. Profit
Phoebe ,

I… dunno.

My ex ignored me for like two weeks and had become closed of. He reinsured me, that everything was fine when i asked him. But the next time he visted me, he said that he wanted to break up, saying he made up his mind two weeks earlier. But i dunno his reason for it.

The break up was okay. I though about it myself, cause he treated me bad the whole 5 month we were together: he talked bad about my interessets and hobbys. He overstepped my bounderies. And everytime, i made him aware of that, he was like “you didn’t make that clear enough”. He made me push my bounderies.

Sadly, i allowed this kind of behaivor back than. I was used to it. During that time i did not know about adhd. I always acted weird as a woman and felt bad for not fitting in. I acted impulsive and had mood swings. I wanted someone to love me, accept me. So i excused these behaivors.

No. I did not allowed that behaivor. But he made me feel like i was crazy when i wanted to talk about how i felt.

Now i have more selfesteem, i am weird and loud and full of my ideas. I am in a beatiful relationship, i am loved and accepted as who i am. I But of course that expierence still hunts me. It still hurts.

Phoebe ,

You are right. I want to add some historical perspective as well (but sorry i am no englisch naitive):

Marriage is importaint for a society who has land and money to own. To give it to the next generation, your kind. Marriage wasn’t that of a deal until martin luther, who declared it as a holy union between two people.

Every republican tries to argue with Religion, but they don’t know where these stuff came from. They don’t care, cause if they unreavel it, they would see it’s all constructed.

All of history woman worked in all kind of jobs. There never was a big issue about that. But the industrial Revolution chanced that. Since than rich people tried to structure workplaces, tried to increase their money. While making a huge impact on societys structures. Woman became unpaid housewifes. Put into care work. City Infrastructur, healthcare is for men, so they can work more and better. So their boss can make more money.

It is scary. So scary. And frustrating. But it is importaint to deconstruct what conservatives are saying. They try to argue with Tradition or science. But we felt for it over the decades. We made fun of feminism, queer folk, vegans or PoC. Or disabelt people. We turned on each other.

Phoebe , (edited )

Hej, there

I can understand your frustration. Right now it feels that we small people can’t do anything to do good in the world. There are greedy capitalist everywhere. It is nearly impossible to understand what damage ones desicion could make. If our desicions even could make a difference.

But the thing is, you can’t overlook everything. It’s a gouverments job to keep an eye over Corporations.

But that doesn’t mean, that you can’t do anything. You can search for Informations and make yourself aware of those topics. You can support workers and strikes. You could limit yourself on what stuff you are comsuming.

You don’t have to boycott every major company and every Product. You just could make a list about everything you really need and what you are really looking forward to. So you can balance your need for morality and fun.

You will find a way that’s suits you. Don’t worry

Phoebe ,

Wait, its a leftist view? I thought it was a fact

Phoebe ,

Yes i know. My gouverment doesn’t feel responsibility for a group called ‘Heilpraktiker’, who tell you that stones can heal depression and that cancer is manifestated hearth break…

I just learned about all of that a few month ago and still feeling… shocked

Phoebe ,

This is so true.

I had 2 therapies in my life but it never felt that helpfull. Yes, to give me a kind of stability and helped me to not felt into the dark. But i always felt under presure, when it comes to my asexuality (it’s just ‘trauma’). Or when i didn’t want to participate in ttrpg anymore cause the german geek community is sexist as fuq.

I always felt that i would go crazy and that my fears are not real. That hurted so much and had delayed my “healing” unnecessary. Only when i found a partner to speak openly and when i connected to people dealing with the same stuff, i realized, that i wasn’t alone.

I learned about adhd in women and how east germany had abused psychiatry (cause my stepdad was a refugee from there)… i’ve always believed in psychology, but right now my “believe” is shattered. How can people think, they know more than their patients? Know better how to treat them?

I am glad there are people seeing the same issues. That there is a name to it. It makes me feel more empowered. Thank you.

Phoebe , (edited )

I want to strech out, what “Heilpraktiker” are. Not for you but cause i want to express how much i dislike them.

The Training programm doesn’t have much regulation. It’s just an exam and some courses to take. During this time you are told to “become creative” with the diagnosis. Only then you can see the biger picture.

Right now they are in the spotlight cause if “false memory” tactics. They tell new trainees, that they had expierence child abused (when they have not) and by that making them question their own reality. They made them leave their family, isolate them and make them depent to them.

And germans are like “but they seem more nicer than actual doctors so they have a Daseinsberechtigung” *screams into void"

Phoebe ,

What a beatiful, beatiful coincidence! Hello, fellow ace! 😊

You are damn right! We need more diversity, more voices like ours. To shape the psychology-landscape and to help people find acceptance/validation. Most of all, we need to talk. Openly, kindly, caring.

In my country, every group of people is gossip about each other. Stereotypes, prejudice… it was always frustrating dealing with that. Not other people are destroing our way of life, but we are. With the hate we uphold.

The rising right wing movement is pretty scary. I am worried about the future of my country, the Internet itself. But the queer community will always find a way.

Phoebe ,

I agree with you 😊

Even tho i studied history, it took long to find topics like disability history, gender studies, science studies and… everything PoC are doing. Established Professionals downplayed all of these as not relevant. Not scientific enough. As a young professionell, you don’t want to ruin your reputation, so you don’t engage with that.

In my country you are told, not to drift away from society. Not to built up your own ‘reality’, cause you read… a feministic book.

These gashlight tactics had keep me from enganging with topics and communitys, which are interessting for me. I did not want to be outcasted. But now i feel more confidend.

I want to dive into the neurodiverse community, cause it is such a new perspective in dealing with ones own life. Much more empowering! Much more brave. Learning to live with stuff like high sensitivity, instead of forcing myself to overcome it. It’s changing how i fre myself.

And yeah: how people talk to each all over the world has changed. To devide us is an easy way to controll us. 10 years ago you couldn’t say that out loud (ya soundes paranoid) but since the facebook papers it has become more much more clearer. It’s a tool to undermine democraty. And a lot of people are stepping in that trap.

Phoebe ,

Op is my todays hero ☺️

Cause i am an science historian interessted in the history of psychology and psychiatry. I want to understand why normal citizen are so paranoid when it comes to seeking psychologal help. When i found up what bs doctors in east germany did to their patients…

it is really importaint to double question your knowledge!

What reddit taught me: as a scientist working for a gouverment run institute i had no idea of all the bureaucracy and administration stuff. Redditors from my country told me a lot. Now i know how to nor be a 'arbeitsdrohne’😆

Phoebe ,

Yes, you are truly right!

One Dimension is accessibility for people who are going through a mental crisis. Who are not taken serious, who can’t access healthcare put of poverty. Who are queer, but are forced to live under another identity. Who have been threaten horribly because of weird practices.

The other Dimension is a society/authoritarian state making their people sick. Cause in east germany (and in many other states that exist today) normal people were treaten poorly and grind down (right word?). They were made depressed, anxious, paranoid. In ordner to lose their free will, so they can’t become rebellious.

This made east german psychiatry based on the own body and the “chemicals in the brain”. You just throw some medicine at someone and your job is done. You don’t have to fix unjustice, giving people a home or a good wage.

My stepdad was a refugee from east germany. But i grew up after the fall of the Berlin Wall. Too much trauma in this family, but nobody ever talked about that. So i spend a lot of time trying to understand what was going on. And what impact it had on me and my siblings. I went to therapy, but i never really needed that. It gave me stability were my parents couldn’t give me much. But as a woman and queer person i am faced with so much unjustice, just “beeing confidend” doesn’t make stuff better. My asexuality can’t be healted cause it’s no illness.

In a united germany there is this lie that we are all democratic, tolerant, future orientated, that Talent and hard work will make ones life better. “An individual just need to get their shit toghether” and we all can live a happy heteronormativ life in a cruel oeconomic Environment. i hate this mindset so much 😆

And then there are Heilpraktiker, an esotheric abormination. Who say that cancer comes from a broken heart… and people believe them. Cause they don’t trust medicine.

In the end i am not shure were my weird mind is going. Cause to much stuff in a smal text. But i hope i can someday help people finding the right way: some need medicine, some a therapy, some need to create a union. but we all need a country that is taking their job serious. Who feels responsibil for their people! 😤

Phoebe ,

My boyfriend and i can’t wait to watch this movie 😊 💕 (but cinema got expensiv dudeee 🥲)

Phoebe ,

I grew up next to Düsseldorf. I freaking love this city. Wouldn’t it be so expensiv i would live there.

Because it is a magnet for anime fans, i early came in contact with queerness and different worldviews. Düsseldorf still has a big connection to art and due to figures like Joseph Beuys the art community is still pretty progressive. I went to university there and the campus had a progressiv Atmosphere there as well.

But on the other side the city is full of rich and conservativ people. A weird contrast. I would say Düsseldorf is educated while cologne is more open and welcoming.

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