Aubrieta

autism101 , 11 days ago to actuallyautistic

Some autistic people find making phone calls extremely stressful and unpleasant and will avoid them at all costs.

Please don’t try and force your communication preferences on others.

image: anon
#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD @actuallyautistic

Aubrieta , 10 days ago

@Bluedepth

Mh. Sounds good, but: at work i learned that people don't grasp things they read. So i asked them about their favourite communication channel and they told me. I use the channel they tell me to get as much information per time to the adressee.
Plus I tell them mine (writing, always!) - urgent stuff via chat.

What they do: Follow the golden rule :-D

@autism101 @actuallyautistic

alltagmitpsyche , 1 month ago to actuallyautistic German

I've seen some of you posting this article. The author says that many communication issues exist because autistic people have a harder time inferring meanings and intentions from what other people say.

So, I just wanted to share the most helpful thing I learned in school about communication. It's a useful framework for improving the way you speak or listen to other people. It's non-pathologizing and I think both ND and NT people benefit from it.

https://theconversation.com/how-autistic-and-non-autistic-people-can-understand-each-other-better-234320

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@actuallyautistic

Aubrieta , 1 month ago

@alltagmitpsyche

Thanks a lot for this thread!

Taking the person you talk to into account would make (not clarified) misunderstandings a lot more uncommon. For everyone. Since I learned about communication and behaviour "models" like the one you wrote about, I increasingly wonder why people are not keen on improving their skills to lessen fraction in communication by themselves.

@actuallyautistic

Aubrieta , 1 month ago

@Murdoc

🤯 I guess you are right. You "hit the nail on its head" 😁

I had that discussion with a coworker. He said "I am so often misunderstood, but this is my burden in life" and I was like "no burden, but a well changeable thing - which is good for you."
He did not take is seriously and claimed that people should accept him "as he was", because he did not have those problems with family.
What he meant: Not wanting to take effort to be understood -.-

@alltagmitpsyche
@actuallyautistic

Aubrieta , 1 month ago

@pathfinder

Yipp. And that's where imho everyone has to take responsibility to enable the addressee to get what is meant. Ideally by saying it out loud.
But i guess a lot of people are not positive towards "letting people know what I really think" - because it makes them vulnerable (so they think) and people can be cruel -.-

@alltagmitpsyche @actuallyautistic

Aubrieta , 1 month ago

@pathfinder

I really like the "empathetic communication" (was originally founded as "non-violent communication") by Marshall Rosenberg.
That's "decribing the Status Quo via observation" - "what is the impact of this on me" - "what do I wish for/what is my need".

The window is open - i'm getting cold - i'd prefer to close the window

@alltagmitpsyche @actuallyautistic

Aubrieta , 1 month ago

@Sci_Fi_FanGirl

Good point.
What do you think: in my impression what you said is true, but at the same time the responsibility for "successful communication" stays with the female-read part of the interaction

@pathfinder @alltagmitpsyche @actuallyautistic