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uebquauntbez ,

Let’s give him a chip and watch for the next 5+ years how it goes, then decide how to go on.

LittleBorat3 ,

Maybe that’s what we watched for the last 5 years?

Burn_The_Right ,

The only dipshits stupid enough to get Musk implants will be the same dipshits who think vaccines have mind-control trackers.

TheReturnOfPEB ,

Elon can go first.

Pilferjinx ,

I don’t trust this guy with anything he touches. I’m a transhumanist and this technology is intriguing, but again, Elon fucking upwards Musk.

DaddleDew ,

Day 1 after implantation: this is great! I now have photographic memory of everything! Best decision ever.

Day 20: I’ve memorized so much so fast, I’m going to have to go for the next higher up subscription level to unlock more storage.

Day 200: I’m running out of space again. Going for the plus subscription.

Day 600: ran out of storage space again. I can’t afford the next higher subscription. I’m going to have to start deleting unnecessary memories. My brain has lost its natural ability to make and retain memories by itself. I can’t even function on a daily basis without free storage space.

Day 700: I have run out of memories that I’m willing to part away with. I still can’t afford the higher subscription. Luckily there is a cheaper tier. All I have to do is give NeuraLink full access and rights over my memories for marketing and AI training purposes.

Day 900: They have increased the cost of subscription. I can’t afford it. I’m going to lose half of my storage space. I have two days to choose which of my memories to keep. The rest will be no longer accessible to me, but will still be used by Neuralink for their own purposes as they own those memories now.

Day 1200: the chip will no longer be supported next month. I can’t afford the new model. It will be disabled in 30 days.

Day 1235: I have just found this diary. It explains a lot. I only wished it told me what my name is.

noodlejetski ,

yewtu.be/watch?v=G9kyYrM4_tE

Diplomjodler3 ,

You forgot the part where you agreed to let them harvest your organs if you fail to pay your subscription fees.

Plopp ,

Also, suddenly you’re unable to say negative things about Elon Musk for some reason.

Munkisquisher ,

He hopes to woo advertisers back by beaming ads directly into your most treasured memories

NotMyOldRedditName ,

Well done, do you write for work/hobby?

DaddleDew ,

Nah, I’m just a bored guy on the internet

NotMyOldRedditName ,

Well kudos bored guy on the internet. It was a riveting read.

kokesh ,
@kokesh@lemmy.world avatar

He should be an example and do it himself.

krimson ,
@krimson@lemmy.world avatar

Yeah that’s not going to happen.

Good_morning ,

We can dream

Lost_My_Mind ,

Not if that brain chip malfunctions.

EarthShipTechIntern ,

How would that be worse than the infant idiot we deal with now?

gravitas_deficiency ,

Stay away from sketchy chips, choom. They can fuck you up real good.

Gullible ,

He absolutely will. Granted it’ll be after all the little kinks like meningitis, aluminum poisoning, spontaneous ignition, malicious hacking, eternal nightmare states, blindness, cancer, and cluster headaches are ironed out. 90% death rate, babyyy

givesomefucks ,

How crazy would it be tho if we found out he really was an early adopter, had one put it in a decade ago, and that’s why he’s so bat shit now?

Lost_My_Mind ,

Did kanye west get one too?

goferking0 ,

Just like colonization of Mars. He can go first, with or without others

NeoNachtwaechter ,

He should do the same with “flying to Mars” first.

Rosoe ,
@Rosoe@fedia.io avatar

Don't really like the guy but the implants are for people with disabilities that stop/hinder their ability to interact with the digital world, which is certainly fun and exciting for those who want that ability. It's a shame Musk is the figurehead for many of these projects because his brand is dirt to anyone that isn't neck deep in blockchain, AGI, culture war, and general scam content.

givesomefucks ,

They’ve existed for decades but required a “helmet” like device.

There’s no people waiting for this who can’t use the existing and safe tech.

We were literally doing this with monkeys 50 years ago, and Musk killed all his monkey subjects because they couldn’t even do basic brain surgery in a sterilized lab

Now he wants to do it to humans.

NotMyOldRedditName ,

In less than a day of training, both participants broke the record of all previous implants for a game which tests your ability to select items In a grid

Today, Nolan would probably beat you at that game even with you practicing for (edit quite) a bit.

Hate the man if you want but this isn’t the same tech that anyone can get and use that’s 50y old.

EarthShipTechIntern ,

Millions of people would like to implant ethics or reason (or both!) into Elon.

KingThrillgore ,
@KingThrillgore@lemmy.ml avatar

Those are the names of my two guns

uriel238 ,
@uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Of…course he does? Maybe with an evil laugh?

Musk is essentially as close to a supervillain as IRL gets.

martinb ,

Aspiring supervillan, please.

ulkesh , (edited )
@ulkesh@lemmy.world avatar

And anyone stupid enough to get one deserves the brain damage that comes with it. Hell, maybe they’ll then buy Twitter and run it into the ground. Oh wait, some other moron did that.

Edit> Found the Musk sycophants :)

Subdivide6857 ,

Millions of people want to plant Elon Musk six feet under.

ZombieMantis ,
@ZombieMantis@lemmy.world avatar

Nah.

assassinatedbyCIA ,

It would probably be wiser to implant a bullet in your brain then let that man do neurosurgery on you.

linearchaos ,
@linearchaos@lemmy.world avatar

Approved. Let him pay and let Darwin sort it out.

BlitzFitz ,
@BlitzFitz@lemmy.world avatar

Godspeed to all the brain dead idiots who will sign up for this, and will become even more literally brain dead after getting the implant.

billwashere ,

Well I’d like to implant my foot in his ass so….

lemmeBe ,

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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