Did anyone else's female family members teach them how to "be feminine"? Like, style their hair, do their makeup, wear dresses?
I was a tomboy until years after I moved away from home & in hindsight I think it just felt safer & easier.
For a long time, I resented my mother & aunts because none of them ever sat me down & taught me how to be a girl or woman. I'd look at my friends & younger sisters & it was obvious that they'd gotten the message.
1/2 #SelfEsteem#ActuallyAutistic#femininity
@gremlinchild No one ever taught me either and I felt the same.
I remember an aunt, who I’m not that close to simply due to living far apart, once taught me maybe 1 basic fact about makeup. That was about applying a base layer colour for eye shadow. And that’s it. But I was amazed! And that’s only because I was given makeup as a gift one Christmas and she happened to be there when I was puzzling over it. Magazine tutorials etc never made any sense or looked right.
Been given ‘girly’ gifts and I just don’t understand them. Much prefer functional things. I get more joy out of that. Makeup etc feels like changing myself to please others as I simply don’t understand why someone would do it.
Have since learned a few things, but only really since my 30s or so. I wanted to wear better makeup for my dad’s funeral and so went to a large department store that did a makeup demo on me - only stumbled across this being possible by chance! And yes, that’s basically how I do makeup now and maybe forever!! Very little change. Often just wear none.
Same with hair, except I was basically reprimanded by my mother for having unwieldy hair. AKA my hair is naturally curly, hers is not, and she had no idea what to do with my hair except extremely painful brushing and making it all seem like my fault. So, I’ve been unlearning that for a decade or more - a very rewarding journey. Mother continues to ask in vain when I’ll “style” my hair (with artificial curls) again as it gives me a “perfect” look, versus natural.
Clothes - I found this a bit easier to study and understand. But I still couldn’t understand colours. I have since paid someone to help with this! 🤣 I now know what colours suit me and that basically most don’t suit me… So this is why copying friends didn’t quite work! I wear what I want, but I do like knowing which colours can make me look half-dead so I can avoid those when wanting to make a good first impression!! 😆
@AnAutieAtUni@gremlinchild@actuallyautistic my mother tried to show me how to perform femininity, but she's not overly fem herself. As soon as I was old enough to pick my own clothes it's been mostly black jeans and quirky t-shirts which solves the problem of what colours work lol. I think I found my style at university when I was introduced to heavy metal and goth music. It hasn't changed much since 😜 I still don't do makeup, but I have worked out how to stop my curly hair looking frizzy.