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programmer_humor

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sheepishly , in We're not the same! (period)
@sheepishly@kbin.social avatar

Jokes on you, the reason I don't open source my code is because I never finish writing it

itsnotits ,

Joke’s* on you

(Short for “The joke is on you”.)

sheepishly ,
@sheepishly@kbin.social avatar

Jokes on you, my apostrophe key is broken

dantheclamman ,
@dantheclamman@lemmy.world avatar

Commitmentphobe

dan ,
@dan@upvote.au avatar

But that’s one of the benefits of open source. Post your code and find someone else to finish it :D

SpaceNoodle , in Twitter/GitHubProjects has no chill 😅

I committed it, but I didn’t push

GigglyBobble ,

And now Bob next door pushes his shit first and you have an extra hour fixing conflicts.

SpaceNoodle ,

Fucking Stephen did that the other week. YOU DIDN’T NEED TO BIFURCATE THAT CONFIG FILE, STEPHEN.

pimeys , in GitHub Desktop or Git CLI?

Magit

akkajdh999 ,

fugitive

RePierre ,

I was looking for someone to mention Magit. It just rocks!

h_a_r_u_k_i ,
@h_a_r_u_k_i@programming.dev avatar

This + org-mode are enough for me to switch to Emacs.

Anders429 , in 1 follower on GitHub = 1000 followers on other platforms 😅

I don’t really get why we need social media elements in GitHub at all

MajorHavoc ,

Yeah. I don’t know if the ‘follow’ piece does anything useful for anyone.

But as a professional developer, I have found that my GitHub account now prevents me from getting asked FizzBuzz at interviews. So whichever bit is causing that nonsense to stop, I hope they keep.

TootSweet , in git commit -m "hotfix"

“Did you try to build the project before you pushed?”

“If I said ‘yes’, would you believe me?”

isVeryLoud ,

Where’s your CI/CD?

TootSweet ,

It must be nice where you work.

isVeryLoud ,

Sometimes :)

cobra89 , in what's the difference?

Git = bittorrent

GitHub = the pirate bay

Code = content

Even that’s not the perfect analogy but it’s better than the OP.

vinhill ,

Though OPs example is easier for the general population to understand.

CmdrKeen ,
@CmdrKeen@lemmy.today avatar

Yes, but mostly because the general population likely isn’t super familiar with Bittorrent and PirateBay.

A better, yet similarly correct explanation would be to say GitHub is to Git what GMail is to email.

This also doesn’t confuse protocol and content, and it doesn’t require knowledge of piracy.

pomodoro_longbreak , in Not mocking cobol devs but yall are severely underpaid for keeping fintech alive
@pomodoro_longbreak@sh.itjust.works avatar

In Canada, the Ministry of Health pays colleges to teach kids COBOL and JCL. It’s a steady job, pension, good bennies. I know a handful of people who went that route, rather than the riskier private sector.

noobdoomguy8658 ,

Would you happen to know how that compares to saying “Fuck it” and going with a Java career for the relative predictability? I’m not asking for any particular reasons, just curious.

pomodoro_longbreak ,
@pomodoro_longbreak@sh.itjust.works avatar

I know some Java folks, but my sampling is biased because I meet them where I work - places that predominantly use the younger languages. Actually, I happen to know that the MoH in particular (and probably lots of other institutions) wrap their COBOL/JCL in a lot of Java, so that most devs never need to dive into the “real backend” if they want to just stay at the Java level.

Java people seem like family people. But from what I’ve observed, their job doesn’t seem any different. You can work in javascript, or python, and still insist on clocking out at 16, 1700. But I only work at startups or seat of your pants kinds of places, so I know about what I hear. 🤷

Dukeofdummies , in Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police
@Dukeofdummies@kbin.social avatar

I mean, in the era of VHS this won't work because ultimately you're fast forwarding and rewinding. So you're gonna watch it anyway. but in the digital era I thought this would be what any Police officer did?

Like... they're not even gonna spend 10 minutes on a theft?

Deceptichum ,
@Deceptichum@kbin.social avatar

Like... they're not even gonna spend 10 minutes on a theft?

What and be responsible for paperwork?

Cops are the biggest bludges you’ll ever meet.

funkless_eck ,

my guy half of them don’t spend 10 minutes on a murder. There’s a reason it’s called detective fiction

Dukeofdummies ,
@Dukeofdummies@kbin.social avatar

I know but if they were smart they'd say they're gonna take an hour to do it, find the footage in 10 minutes and goof off another 50.

Pull a Scotty, then you're productive and lazy. It's just disappointing they can't even procrastinate properly. I feel bad.

SpaceNoodle ,

if they were smart

I gotta stop you right there

MurdoMaclachlan , in Debugging
@MurdoMaclachlan@lemmy.world avatar

Image Transcription: YouTube Comment


@davidm.313

“Debugging. The game where you are the criminal, the victim, and the detective at the same time. But you probably don’t know where the crime took place, or what it was. But there definitely is a crime.”


I am a human who transcribes posts to improve accessibility on Lemmy. Transcriptions help people who use screen readers or other assistive technology to use the site. For more information, see here.

Zacryon ,

Good human.

httpjames , in The classic font size exploit
@httpjames@sh.itjust.works avatar

This is a rem only household

Sanctus , in Merge then review
@Sanctus@lemmy.world avatar

This is why I include those preservative libraries in my projects. My code doesn’t go stale for a whole three weeks longer.

darcy , in JavaScript's days are numbered
@darcy@sh.itjust.works avatar

there goes my plans to build a time machine in javascript

iAvicenna , in They used coding and algorithms
@iAvicenna@lemmy.world avatar

In their head that probably sounds like levitation and animation spells

Crackhappy , in Harder Drive: Hard drives we didn't want or need
@Crackhappy@lemmy.world avatar

This may be one of the nerdiest fucking things I have ever watched.

offspec ,
Rai ,

Holy dicking fuck. This is amazing.

Is there an ÜBERULTRABEGINNER explanation for what these languages even do? It’s just alien glyphs.

AFaithfulNihilist ,
@AFaithfulNihilist@lemmy.world avatar

A lot of them are shorthand for phrases that exist in other programming languages. If you watch the whole video you can see him type things like match to get the ≅ or something like that I don’t know I didn’t follow at all It’s pretty heady shit.

Adalast ,

Yeah, just watching and learning about their existence now, but it definitely looks like people took the full ASCII library and decided to use it for all common operators and operations in the language. Really cool, but yeah, kinda arcane until you learn the characters.

AmbleHamble ,

This is so far beyong my understanding, he could be trolling and I’d nod along and still feel like a dumbass

JackGreenEarth , in A fun simple game

Error: that file path does not exist.

Isoprenoid ,

Is that actually what happens? Let me check.

itsathursday ,

String ain’t raw and \ will escape

JackGreenEarth ,

It’s what happens on my machine.

NigelFrobisher ,

It works on my machine.

darcy ,
@darcy@sh.itjust.works avatar

what machine?

nogrub ,

were not shipping your machine dave

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