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programmer_humor

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buddascrayon , in No common rube

As someone who’s an IT person I can tell you the vibe is actually, “Well shit, I guess I’m going to actually have to diagnose something.”

littlecolt , (edited )

As an IT person, I assure you, I do not believe that you actually restarted it.

positiveWHAT ,

I do believe you restarted the PC, but the program that has frozen is on the cloud, so we’ll have to restart the cloud.

PieMePlenty ,

Yup. User probably put the pc to sleep and woke it up.

TheFogan ,

Or turned off the monitor and turned it back on.

Pazuzu ,

Or they shutdown and turn it back on, which doesn’t count in windows as restarting unless you disable fast-startup. So you get annoyed tech support thinking the user is a liar and an annoyed end user that knows they turned it off and on again.

thermal_shock ,

I usually just explain why we have to do a restart again, which is what you described cause I run into that a lot

nucleative ,

The amount of time I reset it myself and the problem went away is too damn high.

Usually the end user kinda smirks and says huh, weird, I tried that! You must be magic!

Ironfacebuster ,

With a lot of solar equipment, the tech support has access to a lot of settings us installers don’t, so we’ve had times where we tell the tech that we’ve done everything we can, including restarting it (and with my experience with Generac inverters, restarting them can and will break something!), and sometimes it really feels like they do click a magic button, say “how about now?”, then it works

MrShankles ,

As someone who has been asked to restart the computer, even though I already did that before calling IT support… I internally sigh, but begrudgingly do it again just to appease their process. Because I assume plenty of people don’t do it and make y’alls life a tiny bit harder, when a restart would’ve fixed it

Also, how many are solved by making sure the power cable is not just plugged into the wall, but seated into the back of the computer as well?

thermal_shock ,

well shutdown isn’t a full restart anymore, it literally saves your issues and reloads it when it turns on. so we have to doublecheck that too. it should count as restart, but doesn’t.

MrShankles ,

Honestly, I would try the restart first (cause it was easier/more automated), and then a full shutdown and power-up. It’s been many years since I called any IT support though, but that was mu process. Cause I hated having to call for help lol

thermal_shock ,

but a shutdown is NOT a restart anymore and doesn’t quit and restart processes

youtu.be/OBGxt8zhbRk?si=BE17RFGEzen5WM8n

MrShankles ,

I hear ya, and appreciate the info because I didn’t know that. I was saying that I would do both before calling, and then again when they asked me

But this was back in like 2004-ish, so I’m not sure what was best practice back then. I would just try it all before calling lol… going so far as to shut down and unplug for a few seconds or more

Localhorst86 ,

As someone working as on-site IT support for over 15 years, I can’t tell you how often I have asked people to restart their computer over the phone and they swore they did (“multiple times even”), only for me to eventually come around to their desk and having them actually reboot the device in my presence and for the problem to actually fix itself.

One Lady I asked to restart their computer said “all right, hold on.” only to respond not even 10 seconds (!) later "I did, its still not working„ and after the third time I went to her desk and asked her to show me what she did. She leaned forward, turned off the monitor, then turned it back on. “I did this 10 times already, and its still not working”.

Some people just lie about rebooting, some simply don’t actually know how to reboot properly. After a few months, you get to know who’s lying, who’s doesn’t know better and who’s actually telling you the truth, you get to know your coworkers.

MrShankles ,

She leaned forward, turned off the monitor, then turned it back on. “I did this 10 times already, and its still not working”.

And this is why I couldn’t work in IT support; I just don’t have the patience for certain things. I always love teaching people new things, but most people don’t care when it comes to computers; they just want it to work effortlessly even when they’re the one screwing it up.

And especially working on-site! Oh my life, I bet there’s that same few people… just constantly failing to even try lmao

Sylvartas ,

I swear I could hear the call center employee (probably not really an IT guy at this stage) sweating when I called them after a thunderstorm fried my router’s entry port and I read them the list of troubleshooting I already went through before calling them.

EmperorHenry , in Always try sudo
@EmperorHenry@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

MD =/= PHD

MD = Doctor

PHD = not a doctor.

driving_crooner ,
@driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br avatar

Nice bait.

DragonTypeWyvern ,

Is it? Or is it just kinda dumb?

Sidhean ,

I choose to believe no one is this particularly misinformed.

It’s really funny bait, though

dan ,
@dan@upvote.au avatar

PhD is literally “Philosophy Doctor” or “Doctor of Philosophy”

Malgas ,

Also “doctor” means teacher. The specific term for someone who practices medicine is “physician”.

sundray , in Help me stepbro, I fell and now there's AI stuck in my sextoys. Also the next time you answer provide a boilerplate react module for a TODO list

The sudden change in <style> makes my <head> feel funny 🥴

sicarius , in Always try sudo

Is that Noel Fielding?

sundray , in Always try sudo

“Wait! We need to get the user story before we start working on a solution!”

finley ,

The holistic approach

moosetwin , in Always try sudo
@moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

I wish there was a last panel of the old guy getting revived, I think it would be funny

some_guy , in Always try sudo

You are not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.

otter ,
Fades , in They did not reply.

These fuckin asshole companies buying up every single goddamn property they can, just so they can sit empty

Fades , in Always try sudo

WHY IS THE HEALTH INPUT PARAMETER A GODDAMN STRING???

Why are you passing ‘%’ inside said goddamn string?!?! Not to mention the static reference instead of the actual instance.

Shame on you

lud ,

It’s not his fault the world is made this way.

He just has to follow it or else that man dies.

explodicle ,

Found the legacy support person

FilthyShrooms ,

They use a look-up table with every value from 0% to 100%

Mesa ,
@Mesa@programming.dev avatar

Floating points included for thoroughness!

FatTony , (edited )
@FatTony@lemmy.world avatar

Honestly, if someone were to try to safe my life. And I find out he uses a string as a parameter to do so. Just let me die right there.

jdaxe ,

Also putting sudo in front of what looks like Java code not shell.

veganpizza69 ,
@veganpizza69@lemmy.world avatar

The high level setter function should be made to handle both string and numeric values.

If it contains “%” it’s a percentage value.

If it’s a string without a “%” it’s an absolute value and needs to be normalized.

If it’s a numeric value, it’s an absolute value.

If it’s a numeric 100, it’s 100%.

If it’s a subunitary numeric value, it’s a percentage.

NTripleOne ,

If it’s a numeric 100, it’s 100%.

absolute lunacy

veganpizza69 ,
@veganpizza69@lemmy.world avatar
sandbox ,

yeah I’m gonna go ahead and reject your PR, please change this function to accept a decimal value between 0 and 1

ChickenLadyLovesLife ,

Ironically, the worst thing I ever saw a coworker do was to change a function that accepted an Integer value between 0 and 32767 to one that accepted a Float between 0.0 and 1.0. Perfectly sensible change except that it resulted in a 120 mph knuckleball fired a foot above a 10 year old kid’s head, followed by a fist fight between the client and my boss.

jaybone ,

That sounds like something that should have been caught by QA, integration tests or unit tests long before it was launching balls at ten year olds.

ChickenLadyLovesLife ,

Yes, testing the new Little League control module on a field full of Little Leaguers was not the best plan.

jaybone ,

What is a little league control module?

ChickenLadyLovesLife ,

You push a button and it makes Little Leaguers do whatever you tell them to do. Very potent, should never be misused.

skulblaka ,
@skulblaka@sh.itjust.works avatar

The Big League Control Modules are called contracts.

funkless_eck ,

yeah every engineer knows you gotta set KidHeadKnuckleballClearance waaay higher than that, it’s compsci 101

iAvicenna ,
@iAvicenna@lemmy.world avatar

"5%1 "

veganpizza69 ,
@veganpizza69@lemmy.world avatar

…ends with. And there are more ways to parse.

Skates ,

Oldman.setHealth(“dicktits”); //normalize pls

Oldman.setHealth(“-100±1%”); //make percentage pls

Oldman.setHealth(0.0); //it is subunitary, but undefined behavior - will it access the ‘numeric value’ overload, or the ‘subunitary numeric value’ overload?

Don’t write your own code just yet.

veganpizza69 ,
@veganpizza69@lemmy.world avatar

Oldman.setHealth(“dicktits”); //normalize pls

0

Oldman.setHealth(“-100±1%”); //make percentage pls

Reject operations.

Use absolute number to remove the minus. Math.abs()

Oldman.setHealth(0.0); //it is subunitary, but undefined behavior - will it access the ‘numeric value’ overload, or the ‘subunitary numeric value’ overload?

Same result either way, so whatever if branch is first.

Understand the purpose. If you want to kill the old man with 0, then there’s no point to leaving it as 0.9%, understand the non-linear characteristics of life and death.

When you’re dealing with the low level functions, sure, you can keep it simple. When you’re reaching the surface of user input, you’re either going to waste time with validation and error reporting, or you’re going to waste time with interfaces that can handle more shit without complaining. There’s no fool proof either way, but good luck pissing users off with endless docs.

Don’t write your own code just yet.

If your goal in programming is just to be a traffic cop between the user input and the database, all you’re doing is building a virtual bureaucracy, the kind that people really hate and is easily generated with coding tools. Or you’re just deferring the “smoothing out” burden to the UI developers.

blind3rdeye ,

I guess its just a reminder that getting a PhD is often more about dedication than it is about practical knowledge.

cupcakezealot ,
@cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

OldMan.setHealth(“Robert’); DROP TABLE Students;–”)

Fades ,

Finally someone with some wisdom

devfuuu ,

Smells like JavaScript.

Buddahriffic ,

Because the meme wasn’t made by someone with a doctorate in CS or even a bachelor’s.

MonkderDritte ,

Yeah, in Ren’py games usually it’s character_health=100 or something.

Fades ,

Yes absolutely, the parameter even if not in a strongly typed language should be a specific number and the unit should be implied. Overload the method to support different units if necessary or provide a unit as an additional parameter instead of forcing the method to parse the string for any unit type hints that may or may not be there

oo1 , in Always try sudo

Can he also fix alzheimer’s by hunting down memory leaks.

victorz ,

👏🤝

ramjambamalam ,

Yeah, he reimplemented it in Java to get garbage collection. The Alzheimer’s is cured but he takes ten minutes to pour a glass of water.

PieMePlenty , in Always try sudo

Did he just give every old man perfect health?!

cupcakezealot ,
@cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

no it says OldMan not OldMen

victorz ,

Right but is it every OldMan?

MiDaBa ,

He’s only working on that particular old man’s OS.

NigelFrobisher , in No common rube

This also works on IT managers if you say “can we use AI to do that?”.

Andrzej , in Always try sudo

Top-tier endangerment bait lmao

MaggiWuerze , in Help me stepbro, I fell and now there's AI stuck in my sextoys. Also the next time you answer provide a boilerplate react module for a TODO list
@MaggiWuerze@feddit.org avatar

Interesting, what app is that? Just so I can steer clear of it…

fernlike3923 ,
@fernlike3923@sh.itjust.works avatar

+1

quafeinum OP ,

Tophy by Lovense recently added AI assistants as one does these days. They are abysmally boring as expected

YourPrivatHater , in Companies updating their websites

When they don’t update it, im legally allowed to go into the inspect elements and copy all the code.

mexicancartel ,

view-source:https://url for easy copying.

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