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programmer_humor

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spartanatreyu , in Monitor Alignment Alignment Chart
@spartanatreyu@programming.dev avatar
  • 50% of web developers: Chaotic Neutral
  • Salespeople: Lawful Neutral
  • Programmers (and the other 50% of web developers): Unaligned, we know how to use shortcuts.
jackoneill , in Monitor Alignment Alignment Chart

Gaming setup is true neutral Work from home setup is lawful neutral Office setup is chaotic evil

tacosplease , in Welp, guess I'm going to hell

If Firefox could run full screen video without crashing every fucking time … that’d be great

xusontha OP ,

I don’t seem to have any problem with Firefox videos, maybe it’s on your end

tacosplease ,

That’s absolutely part of it. I have an old phone, but Chrome has been flawless on every phone I’ve had including this one.

nothacking , in Welp, guess I'm going to hell

Hell runs on Linux so it never freezes.

xusontha OP ,

It all makes so much sense now haha!

BorgDrone , in call the doctor, the CS doctor

Are you indexing your fingers or counting them ?

Indexing starts ar 0 but counting starts at 1.

FriendOfElphaba ,

This.

One of the reasons indexing starts at zero is because back when we used to use pointers and memory addresses, the first byte(s) of an array were at the address where the array was stored. Let’s say it is at 1234. If it was an array of bytes, the first data element was at 1234, or 1234 + 0. The second element would be at 1235, or 1234 + 1. So the first element is at location 0 and the second at location 1, where the index is actually just an offset from the base address. There may be other/better reasons, but that’s what I was taught back in the 90s.

Counting always starts at 1 (if we’re only using integers). You don’t eat a hamburger and say you ate zero hamburgers.

Sonotsugipaa ,
@Sonotsugipaa@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

I do say I ate zero hamburgers if I just started counting and I have yet to eat one

FriendOfElphaba ,

When you’ve eaten more than 50% of the hamburger, do you claim to have eaten one, or do you claim zero? Are you useing standard founding or are you using floor()?

Sonotsugipaa ,
@Sonotsugipaa@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

I create a Vulkan instance, a device, a compute pipeline then use an image sampler with VK_FILTER_LINEAR on a single-texel image in order to interpolate the two adjacent values of hamburger eatage, simple as.

Haus ,
@Haus@kbin.social avatar

There was a time when I had to switch back and forth between Fortran90 and C several times a day, and it messed me up so bad that doing simple tasks like counting apples at the grocery gave me anxiety.

BatmanAoD ,

“used to”?

FriendOfElphaba ,

Perchance programming with pointers has plunged as a percentage of programmers.

But thank you. I was hoping someone would notice that.

dukk , (edited )

Well, you don’t really see many people accessing lists with pointers directly. Also 0-indexing does give us an extra number to index with(say 1-255 vs 0-255)

Edit: 0-255, not 0-256

FriendOfElphaba ,

It’s 0-255 when you’re indexing like that. 11111111b = 255.

dukk ,

Oh sorry, you’re right. Amended my comment.

DavidGA , in The difference
@DavidGA@lemmy.world avatar

Because famously you can get Doom to run on things with a screwdriver.

SpaceNoodle ,

Yes, because first I need to disassemble the target device.

BeigeAgenda ,
@BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca avatar

Yes, as long as its a sonic screwdriver.

MonkderZweite ,

on a screwdriver.

r00ty Admin ,
r00ty avatar

Well you need the screwdriver (with the smorx 5omble bit) to open the maintenance panel and access the button you hold while booting to get the unlocked bootloader, so you can install Linux and then subsequently doom.

Elementary.

newIdentity ,

He means he got doom running on that screwdriver

frezik ,

You joke, but the ES121 screwdriver has an open source firmware. I think it’s running an STM32F10x (based on the file listings in the firmware). People have gotten Doom to run on an STM32F429, so it’s not that far fetched.

CanadaPlus , in Welp, guess I'm going to hell

Hell only supports IE. You hang out in limbo with all the cool kids.

empireOfLove , in 0.30000000000000004

Well just don’t ask a Pentium processor for it either…

Psythik ,

4195835/3145727 = 1.333739068902037589

slazer2au ,

Yes fellow program, Harbinger is the next stage in our evolution.

nixfreak ,

This is why ceiling and floor was invented.

empireOfLove ,

But where are the walls?

Speiser0 , in The difference

The first panel is popular media, not computer scientists.

The computer scientist would write papers about how they adapted principles of the alien technology to our stuff.

r00ty Admin ,
r00ty avatar

Papers that would be released 5 years after the engineer got doom to run on it.

ali ,

If accepted.
Reviewer’s comments:

  • While the paper is well-written overall, contributions on adaptation of alien technology as well as comparison with state-of-the-art are not made clear.
  • Authors should consider using TikZ to create the diagrams. My Kindle e-reader had difficulty scaling and displaying the diagrams.
  • The paper’s tone could benefit from more technicality.
  • The terms “alien”, “ET”, “technology”, and “stuff” have been used ambiguously throughout the paper. The authors should consider including a table of nomenclature.
  • The experimental results don’t appear to provide sufficient statistical significance on how much the mankind’s genitalia could be pleased using the alien apparatus. The results would be more conclusive if the application of the apparatus on extraterrestrial genitalia is studied too. This has the additional benefit of avoiding to fall for spurious relationships.
chiliedogg ,

And now I’m having publication flashbacks.

They made me go back and demonstrate that stream discharge increases during a flood, and I’m the end we spent so much time and effort working on it, the whole thing changed into a comparative analysis between rainfall and peak discharge.

They critiqued us so hard we changed topics.

r00ty Admin ,
r00ty avatar

God damn big academia at it again!

Zacryon ,

Peer review. We know we need it, but we hate it.

Decompose , in The difference

Case in point… Doom is not invented, it’s discovered!

at_an_angle ,

The benevolent hyper-intelligent architect of the post-singularity simulation we all live in, John Carmack gifted humanity Doom.

bort , in call the doctor, the CS doctor

Count in binary up to 1023 on your hands you filthy casual

stebo02 ,
@stebo02@sopuli.xyz avatar

just beware when counting the number 4 in public

CanadaPlus ,

Or 256, or 260.

dukk ,

Especially 260.

pkill , in It's a mass extinction event

Rooting for Bevy so much rn

fuck_u_spez_in_particular ,

Yeah me too, but I think it’s not there yet, when you think out of a less programmer focused perspective, as most of the stuff in games is of artistic nature (which takes time to make, even with all the AI stuff) and otherwise simple game logic for most of these indie games. So something like an interactive GUI editor to “debug” is a must have for artists.

pkill ,

There’s still Fyrox too. But for those used to Unity’s ECS it’s OOP style might be deterring.

fuck_u_spez_in_particular ,

True, Fyrox often gets less love than e.g. Bevy (probably because the data-driven ECS pattern feels more idiomatic in Rust than OOP, and probably because it’s mostly a one-man-show as well)

acwern ,

Sadly don’t think Bevy’s going to benefit too much from this drama. Most people from Unity will want a more complete toolset and probably won’t be wanting to learn a whole new language. Can see a lot of indie devs making the switch over to Godot though

nothacking , in 0.30000000000000004

The expression 0.1 + (0.2 + 0.3) and (0.1 + 0.2) + 0.3 evaluate to different results.

darcy , in Programming Languages as Essays
@darcy@sh.itjust.works avatar

haskell: “you submitted your math work instead of an essay”

javascript: “this is awful, but at least i can read it anywhere i like”

lisp: “it is not grammatically correct to nest brackets so much”

lua: “your vocabulary is too limited and you have the writing skills of a child”

rust: “omg. your essay is fast, safe, and perfect in every way! A+”

css: “this is beautiful, but it doesnt say anything”

Alexocado ,

Found the Rust programmer

darcy ,
@darcy@sh.itjust.works avatar

what! how did you know??!?

BeigeAgenda ,
@BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca avatar

Rust may be good and all, but I doubt it’s magically always write good A+ code, I’m sure some developers will slap all their code inside unsafe as a shortcut.

darcy ,
@darcy@sh.itjust.works avatar

yeah i was mostly joking. rust will never catch up to javascripts beauty

PoolloverNathan ,

Hey! Don’t read my code!

(how else are you supposed to cast a lambda to a generic type parameter?)

30p87 ,

Ha, such a loser. Real programmers use C.ԥ[��\�q��r��8-߿�ʱT�xd]�UG���S;���v�o������ՠ��N�iYtsfv���@ֿ��Qj�\�Q��_"�$�:� �����0��y��G�6�K!{Ȯ������Z�n�˭s�\��ڣ�:J��1���e�k=�${�Z�3�k~67D�����K���(�P.��v�0��a�����d���6e?=�v�)���a��bF���R��4>�˕�G�=��v-�dP��O�3��+A�nw�|ъ�f۽b�oF�I`'�#��:��̴g>�j:^���O�mu^U�l�A�oI�’�.��j>Dm\����y��2T��8w�D"1������ת«Q����l�"�C�{��������% �_�A�߸�=t��� �X��m�9R�x��)�a�-���tbL�����Ǣs��d$oMZ��4I1jXD���
Segmentation fault

glibg10b ,

(core dumped)

starman , (edited )
@starman@programming.dev avatar

C#: did you just copy Java’s essay and put your name on it?

COBOL: why it looks like it’s from 16th century?

PHP: I did not ask for a spaghetti recipe

alternative Rust: it’s great, but I asked for an essay, not “🔥 Blazingly fast rust-based EssayOS”

newIdentity ,

C# is Java in good

starman ,
@starman@programming.dev avatar

Yes, I know. I’m a .NET dev myself, it’s just a joke

30p87 ,

C# is Java except from Microsoft, which means it’s designed and much more integrated with Windows. The official .net core even brings telemetry right out of the box. Using C# apps on Linux is a pain, which is very bad considering it’s supposed to be like Java - compile once, run anywhere - except Java actually achieves it.

Also, Minecraft runs on Java. Therefore, C# is useless. Boom, destroyed /s

eestileib ,

Stardew Valley runs on C#.

ROASTED

newIdentity ,

Untiy games are programmed in C#

So point for Java

30p87 ,

True. F Unity, I prefer C/C++ with eg. Raylib. (Fr tho, I hate not having direct control over my whole code.)

TheGiantKorean ,
@TheGiantKorean@lemmy.world avatar

Java developer here. Can confirm (from what I’ve read about C#, anyway).

darcy ,
@darcy@sh.itjust.works avatar

ahah nice

raubarno , (edited )

Rust v3: “It’s three hours and I’m still compiling dependencies”

EDIT: Also, “What does Option[Arc[Mutex[BTreeMap[String, Box[RefCell[Box[amp mut F>>>>>>> where F : Fn(T) -> U in your essay mean?” (srry, I didn’t come up with a better obscure data type, it’s probably gibberish)

EDIT2: Lemmy deletes ‘less than’ sign for some damn reason (time to build Lemmy at home?)

eestileib ,

My friend partially explained how the build safety system worked for Rust and my first reaction was “holy shit the link stage must take a century”.

“Yes.”

kattenluik ,

I don’t think you should criticize a language that you clearly have not even learnt the syntax of. Dependencies are also a one-time compile and linking just your own program or library does not take very long, and if you’ve ever worked with C languages it’s all the same.

Just because you don’t know how to read a languages syntax doesn’t mean it’s bad, it’s just like how you have to learn anything else. Rust is quite self-explanatory afterwards.

raubarno , (edited )

I do write Rust projects

EDIT: Well, it depends. If you statically compile everything with C build systems, in that sense, the speed should not differ from generic cargo workload. Although, in most cases, projects written in C are dynamically linked due to several reasons, one of which is code speed. In practice, even huge projects written in C (30k to 10k LOC) build quicker than C++ or Rust.

I’m not pooping on generics, either. Generics is a saviour for correctness and performance. Yet, I want to point out the type creep is still a thing, even though there’s little we can do about it.

Anyways, this thread should be better interpreted with humor, instead of technical accuracy.

kattenluik ,

Fair, I just don’t like it even when it’s humorous as it still speaks of a language in a bad way.

Also, if you use a Unix system to build your projects I can recommend you check out Mold if you haven’t yet as it speeds up the linking significantly.

MonkderZweite ,

javascript: “this is awful, but at least i can read it anywhere i like”

There are only 3 engines capable of interpreting most of it.

darcy ,
@darcy@sh.itjust.works avatar

it can run on almost any browser, it can be bundled to run on desktop or mobile. i know wasm exists but javascript is still sadly an extremely versatile language, mostly due to its support on the web

dodslaser ,

rust: “You just translated someone else’s essay”

onizuka89 , in It's a mass extinction event

For those wondering, it’s most likely a jab at unity with it’s new license model, as you could code in C# in it.

M500 ,

Is c# mainly just used in this engine?

Shugzaurus ,

It is also the language of DotNet framework so hardly.

HiddenLayer5 ,

I mean Windows is also undergoing enshitification it could still be true?

GigglyBobble ,

While true, businesses have it even harder to migrate to Linux (what else is there when talking enshittification?) than private users. Windows and dotnet won't go anywhere anytime soon.

Shugzaurus ,

Distributed deployment of DotNet solutions is a bit more attractive on linux though

railsdev ,

Huh? With each passing day Windows is being relied on less and less. Microsoft would have to rewrite from scratch at this point (or stop backward compatibility) if their goal is a secure, dependable OS.

locuester ,

On their desktops, sure. But most apps are web based and back end apps are all services - running on Linux. I worked at a fortune 100 financial firm a couple years back. Hundreds of .NET apps, all running in Linux containers on Amazon ECS clusters or Lambdas.

gnutrino ,

Dotnet has been cross platform for a while now (so long it’s not even called dotnet core anymore)

Lmaydev ,

It’s been cross platform and open source for like 10 years now.

Whirlybird ,

Absolutely not. It’s used everywhere on the web and other places.

GigglyBobble ,

It's probably a tiny fraction of the C#/dotnet ecosystem. But hobbyist meme creators mostly care about games, I guess.

railsdev ,

I’ve noticed the Linux communities are flooded with “which distro should I use, also I’m a PC gamer” too.

onizuka89 ,

No, as other’s have pointed out it’s not. There are plenty of other areas to use it, even in other game engines. OP is just trying to make it seem funny by making the exaggerated narrative that it’s the only use case for C#. If Boo was still around in Unity this joke would been accurate with that, don’t think that was used anywhere else

amio ,

No, C# is a general purpose language that Unity has a botched, outdated version of.

PixxlMan ,

Not at all. Unity’s use of C# is pretty unconventional even. Not representative at all.

hairyballs ,

WTF I didn’t understand, thanks for the explanation. The fact that it’s used all around the world in big companies doesn’t matter I guess.

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