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Gnugit ,

This timeline is so broken. I can’t believe that the USA may well vote this idocracy into power.

zcd , (edited )
sunzu ,

Limp dick cucks copying a gereatric nepo baby for popularity points.

MudMan ,

I'll give it to you, this is the most a Not The Onion post has made me go "wait, is that The Onion"?

Good job. I think.

SlippiHUD ,
@SlippiHUD@lemmy.world avatar

Oh, did you not see the commemorative sneakers he’s selling?

MudMan ,

Nah, that I believed. Trump shilling useless crap is extremely plausible.

Blackmist OP ,

I genuinely don’t know how satirists are supposed to make a living any more.

WhereGrapesMayRule ,

Their heads are as soft as their little impotent penises.

kbal ,
@kbal@fedia.io avatar

Be extra careful not to hurt your ear this week, you won't be able to bandage it

QuentinCallaghan ,
@QuentinCallaghan@sopuli.xyz avatar

Imagine what it would look like if Trump was shot in the dick.

rebelsimile ,

it’s amazing how much the context on this sentence has shifted inside of a week.

friend_of_satan ,

But these sheep can’t wear masks? Give me a fucking break.

NJSpradlin ,

They’re inconvenienced by having to smell their own lies.

givesomefucks ,

To be fair, they need the bandage just as much as trump does.

Like. A day or two after the attempt he was out golfing and didn’t have a bandage or anything.

I think it was just a small nick and the blood thinners he’s likely on just makes you bleed like crazy since they prevent clotting. A small scratch looks like a war wound, and would explain why there was blood everywhere but he still has a functional ear.

Like, if he really got shot in the ear, he’d be missing a part of his ear like in Preacher. It won’t just heal back.

Dude got a scratch and is playing it up.

morrowind ,
@morrowind@lemmy.ml avatar

Trump is on blood thinners? Why?

givesomefucks ,

He’s in his late 70s, doesn’t exercise, eats like shit, and is drastically overweight…

Like, it’s one of those things that are just safe to assume. Blood thinners arent really that rare for people 30 years younger than either candidate.

Valmond ,

I wonder what his theoretical are is lol.

Orbituary ,
@Orbituary@lemmy.world avatar

His blood is thick with hamburger juice.

Gerudo ,

A lot of people that age, with his OBVIOUS unhealthy BMI are on blood thinner as prevention more than anything else.

TheOctonaut ,

He’s a WWE Hall of Famer. I would not be surprised if he was blading.

EisFrei ,

Well…

There isn’t a fourth monkey covering its nose.

Susaga ,

There is, however, a fourth monkey covering his crotch. “Do no evil”

Myxomatosis ,

The masks prevent them from quaffing their own farts all day long.

tiredofsametab ,

And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.

The previous verse says hand or forehead but close enough

RagnarokOnline ,

If there is an anti-Christ, this dude has to be the closest we’ve got to it

ccunning ,

I can’t decide if this is more or less weird than wearing a diaper in support of Trum…no…it’s less weird…right?

logicbomb ,

Since these people aren’t treating any ear injury, you might as well call these “ear diapers.”

snooggums ,
@snooggums@midwest.social avatar

That is consistent with their usage of chin diapers that also had no medical use.

Sgt_choke_n_stroke ,

Not like politicians were listening to us anyway, no need to cover your ears.

KillerTofu ,

It’s all fucking weird.

WhatAmLemmy ,

Almost like it’s a mental illness or cult… But nope, perfectly normal. You are the one that’s crazy! You should wear more diapers and ear patches about that.

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