There have been multiple accounts created with the sole purpose of posting advertisement posts or replies containing unsolicited advertising.

Accounts which solely post advertisements, or persistently post them may be terminated.

Is it odd that I can't hold a grudge?

I legitimately find it difficult to long term stay annoyed with people who have wronged me. I have close friends and family telling me how ridiculous it is I’m still in touch and friendly with people I used to consider friends but briefly cut them out after they treated me horribly. I can see the logic and feel as though I SHOULD hate certain people for how they’ve been in the past but I just don’t feel any anger or resentment and am quite happy to just forget the past. Is this weird and/or unhealthy?

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I don’t think it’s unhealthy to stop holding a grudge, but I do think it’s unwise to let someone back into your life after they have mistreated you to the level that you’ve decided to cut them off in the first place. My former best friend stole $400 from my mother through a con, most likely to buy drugs. I am no longer angry at him about it, but he will no longer have a place in my life because, firstly, people who con old ladies are not people I wish to associate with and, secondly, he could do something similar or worse.

So I don’t dwell on him, I don’t want to find him and slap him or yell at him, I just don’t want to be in touch with him anymore. I don’t hold a grudge, I just don’t want him in my life.

LimitedDuck ,

Do you have any rationale behind keeping in touch with those people in spite of their treatment of you? What do you believe about their future behaviour?

Num10ck ,

its wonderful. Grudges are horrible investments. Most people build up defenses and stress about them deeply. The path of grace is profound but requires inner strength and empathy. Of course there are downsides like vulnerability and ‘shame on me’. the art is to truly forgive without forgetting.

joe ,
@joe@lemmy.world avatar

I think most people are like this. It’s hard to hold on to actual hatred. Most of us ain’t got any time for that.

li10 ,

You haven’t met my mother.

She still gets extremely bitter and randomly brings up the fact that I ruined Peter Pan on ice for her by sulking about not getting ice cream during the interlude.

That was 20 years ago and I was six…

joe ,
@joe@lemmy.world avatar

Keyword: most

li10 ,

That’s fair, she do be a one of a kind fruit cake.

PeepinGoodArgs ,

I can’t hold one either!

So it’s not weird to me.

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • random
  • [email protected]
  • lifeLocal
  • goranko
  • All magazines
    •