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Is it odd that I can't hold a grudge?

I legitimately find it difficult to long term stay annoyed with people who have wronged me. I have close friends and family telling me how ridiculous it is I’m still in touch and friendly with people I used to consider friends but briefly cut them out after they treated me horribly. I can see the logic and feel as though I SHOULD hate certain people for how they’ve been in the past but I just don’t feel any anger or resentment and am quite happy to just forget the past. Is this weird and/or unhealthy?

TheDoctorDonna ,

It’s not the not holding a grudge that is unhealthy, it is the not holding people accountable that’s unhealthy. You deserve to be treated with respect and you aren’t respecting yourself if you are allowing people to harm you and then continuing on like nothing happened. If you love or respect someone you should should hold them accountable for their actions so they can learn and grow as a human.

diffusive ,

The real question is… Are these people repeatidly hurting you or they were one offs?

If it’s repeated… Well that is an issue… You don’t have a defense mechanism.

If it’s one off… Well you just are an optimist person 😃

ConditionOverload ,
@ConditionOverload@lemmy.world avatar

I don’t really ever hold grudges, but if someone seriously wrongs me, I would just avoid them from then on. I’ll forgive them easily, at least most of the time, but that doesn’t mean that I have to like them or continue being their friend or hang out with them ever again.

WildlyCanadian ,
@WildlyCanadian@lemmy.ca avatar

(intentionally vague)

Someone I know still keeps contact with someone that groomed them, and molested them when they were underage. They still consider this person a friend somehow. Thankfully, they moved across the country away from this person, but I’m scared for them to go back. They were also in an abusive relationship with another person, who they would still keep contact with if this person hadn’t blocked them on everything. It shows a lack of self respect/esteem that really makes me sad, because I do love this person, and the thought of them going back and letting this shit continue really frightens me.

Squirrel ,
@Squirrel@thelemmy.club avatar

Not holding onto anger/resentment is called forgiveness, and it’s a good thing to do for your own sake. However, don’t put yourself in harm’s way, mental or physical, just because you’ve forgiven a person. Forgive all you want, but don’t forget.

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