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how do I accept I'll never know why any employer rejected me?

I’m finding the hard way that finding another job is a grind: you invest time reading what they want to hire, you write a CV and an application.

Most of the time you don’t get an answer, meaning you are that irrelevant to them. Most of these times it is YOU the one who has to ask if they decided for or against. On the limited times they write you back, it’s a computed generated BS polite rejection letter.

I asked one of them how many candidates they considered and why they rejected me, but that only made them send me another computer generated letter.

I’d like to know how close I was and in what ways I can become a more interesting candidate, but nobody is going to give me a realistic answer.

It sucks having to need them more than they need you. And I should consider me lucky, because I have a job, but jesus christ, I feel for those who have to do this without stable income or a family that offers them a place to stay…

11111one11111 ,

Lol why would anyone fuckin hire someone that bitches about the basics of finding, applying and following up on new job interviews.

“I feel for those who have to do this without stable income or a family that offers them a place to stay…”

It’s common sense to most non-pampered people who don’t expect people to wait on every one of their super bitchy complaints to just take a job beneath their qualification as a bridge the gap income while putting in the work to find their right employer to build their career with.

Sc00ter ,

I’d like to know … how to be a more interesting candidate

Homie is just trying to be better and being frustrated they aren’t getting feedback on how to be better

Grimy ,

I make sure to always assume it was nepotism and my confidence remains sky high no matter how long I stay unemployed. It just works.

jonne ,

Until you get rejected for a job at your own dad’s company.

ogler ,

the good news is it’s very easy to get some practice

RedditWanderer ,

Shiit so many comments here.

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment

some_guy ,

Giving you feedback opens them up to liability if you sue.

Mojave ,

Not being dickheads when hire people make suing unnecessary

crashfrog ,

You don’t get “rejected”, they just hire someone who isn’t you.

Lost_My_Mind ,

New stratagy…apply to the same company 400 times. With 400 different aliases. With 400 different disguises.

Exaust them with competition all looking for the same job. Which drowns out the 20 or so candidates. And then you just need to start a new life under your new name. Easy peasy.

Except not easy at all. It’s actually incredibly complicated keeping each character seperate, and remembering which accients to use, and then commiting to the bit for the next 60 years.

xmunk ,

Because employers are opaque and their evaluation of you isn’t something that should be important to you. They’re not giving you a clear response oftentimes because they want to avoid legal issues.

magnetosphere ,
@magnetosphere@fedia.io avatar

Since the answer is unknowable, you might as well assume the best for yourself. Imagine that the job would have sucked anyway.

For example, I once interviewed for a job, was accepted, then showed up on my first day only to find out that the position had been given to someone else. Was I angry and disappointed? Of course. I made myself feel better by deciding I was better off not working for someone so untrustworthy.

rekabis ,

I once interviewed for a job, was accepted, then showed up on my first day only to find out that the position had been given to someone else.

And with written proof of acceptance, any employment lawyer worth their degree could have gotten you a healthy amount of compensation even after their cut. Behaviour like this by any company is illegal in almost all jurisdictions, and should never be tolerated.

magnetosphere ,
@magnetosphere@fedia.io avatar

I didn’t have anything in writing. That’s what stopped me from taking it further. You’re completely right, though.

rekabis ,

Most of America (all but 7 states) and all of Canada are one-party jurisdictions. That means you can record conversations without anyone else knowing so long as you are a primary participant in said conversation.

If you have an iPhone (which prevents calls from being recorded as a security feature), it helps to invest in a small digital recorder and to take all calls on speakerphone.

If you take communications through apps like Teams or Slack, there are third-party apps that can screen record your entire monitor such that the other person won’t be informed of the recording. Recording through teams, for example, would have Teams tell the other person that the screen is being recorded.

Don’t just record convos that you think might be important. Record all calls just in case someone does something particularly in your favour, such as asking an illegal question.

theywilleatthestars ,

I mean what else can you do?

Toes ,

Something I picked up over the years. The reasons are potentially personal or emotional.

Skills, experience and education are important.

But they are also concerned with cohesion.

“Is this someone I can have a beer with and have a good time”

“Will this person enjoy the company of the staff under my charge”

“That guy drove in with a insert political message on their bumper sticker. :/”

“Gross they used random font”

“We got too many Marks at this company”

SpaceNoodle ,

Reminds me of one team I was on that had Karthic, Karthik, and Karthick. THEY JUST KEPT HIRING THEM.

Toes ,

HR is playing pokemon trying to catch em all

Blizzard ,

You should send them one of those annoying feedback surveys.

1. On a scale from 1 to 10, how do you rate the overall quality of my application?

2. How well did my qualifications match the requirements for the position?

Very well matched

Somewhat matched

Not well matched

3. On a scale from 1 to 10, how would you rate the clarity of my resume/CV?

4. Was there any specific skill or experience you felt was missing from my application?

Yes (please specify)

No

5. On a scale from 1 to 10, how effectively did my cover letter convey my interest in the position?

6. Were there any areas in which my application could have been improved? (e.g., resume formatting, better alignment with job requirements, etc.)

7. On a scale from 1 to 10, how well did I communicate my strengths during any interviews or communications?

8. Would you consider my application for future opportunities within your organization?

Yes

Maybe, depending on the role

No

9. On a scale from 1 to 10, how likely are you to recommend me to another employer?

spankmonkey , (edited )

Employment is like dating, there are frequently things that happen outside of the process that impact the process and there are often reasons to avoid direct rejection even if the reasons are different.

Jobs might be posted and then the position itself is made redundant during the interviews, so they are no longer hiring. Or they liked your interview, but want to offer you something else and have to do the HR circus to make that offer happen and the whole thing falls through. Or during the interviews they decide they want to change the position into something else. Orbthey are incompetent and HR forgot to follow up on the job offer. I have seen all of these happen!

Then there is the all too common scenario of finding out the candidate is a woman or a minority and sone jerk killing the process. Can’t admit that so they ghost. They might have a valid reason not to hire, but don’t want to be sued for giving a reason. They might also have posted the thing to meet a requirement although they know who they were going to hire from the start. I have seen all of those as well.

Or they don’t want to tell a candidate they didn’t meet the position for fear of violence. This is likely being over cautious and not specific to the applicant!

Or the applicant reminded an interviewer of someone they don’t like.

These often line up with dating because they are all things that have no real specific explanation that can be given as what the csndidate can even do to change. Knowing they are possible won’t really impact how the interview/dating should go in the future either, because they are all external to the interview or dating process.

So the best way is to come to terms with the fact that there is likely to be someone who is a better fit, or the position wasn’t really stable, or you didn’t want to work or date them anyway if they didn’t follow up.

NoIWontPickAName ,

Shit man, you forgot someone else was just better suited for the job.

Even though you might be 97% perfect for the job, if they find 98% you’re done and it’s not your fault. Hell you were an excellent candidate for the job and just got unlucky enough to happen to be in the same pool as them.

spankmonkey ,

The final decision on who to hire never comes down to who is the ‘most qualified’. There will almost always be multiple people who are qualified and the tiebreaker is interpersonal stuff like a matching sense of humor, attractiveness, and not reminding the interviewer of someone they don’t like.

Someone might be told it is based on the most qualified, but working well with others is part of a job and not in the written qualifications. It is also a subjective determination and varies wildly depending on the job and who is interviewing.

NoIWontPickAName ,

I said nothing about qualified.

I said better suited and gave percentages of perfect for the job.

Perfect for the job included everything, social interactions, qualifications, hair style, maybe holding the door for one of the people on the panel yesterday at the doctor.

Maeve , (edited )

I had applied for a job in a busy area a long time ago. I followed up a week later, nothing. I called a few days later. Nothing. I went to the office in person and *spoke to the receptionist, who was pre-screening resumes. She picked up a box the size of a case of paper, and showed me another, half full. The full one were resumes she'd not looked at yet; the half full was what she had.

BearOfaTime ,

The same way you get over not knowing just about anything else.

Let it go.

Does it serve you in any way to continue to be bothered by not knowing?

You are irrelevant to them. Just like I’m irrelevant to you. That’s life.

gedaliyah ,
@gedaliyah@lemmy.world avatar

I used to work in sales and I did a lot of cold calls. The world-weary senior sales guy would always just shake his head at me when I got frustrated. “It’s a numbers game,” he would say. “It’s just a numbers game.” In the beginning I would waste a lot of time researching each individual call, but that didn’t help me make sales. The truth was a certain percentage of people that I could call would have a need for the product I was offering. Of those people who had a need, a certain percentage would choose us over a competitor, because we were the best fit.

Looking for a job is the same as sales. Your product is your labor. It can feel personal, as though the product is you yourself. But you’re not selling yourself, you’re selling your work product. A certain percentage of buyers (employers) will need the labor that you can provide. A certain percentage of those we’ll choose you over a competitor because you are the best fit. It’s a numbers game. It’s not personal, it’s just a numbers game.

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