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Why is there no sense of "camaderie" in the workplace?

So when I worked in last 2 roles, I’d joke around and have a laugh with colleagues, the workplace culture of those places I guess was more relaxed, but I got that sense of lack of camaderie or fellowmanship from others too during my time working.

Sorry to be naive, but is it because some people look out for themselves and it’s kind of “Yeah you’re a funny guy but uh… when shit hits the fan I ain’t there with you” kind of shtick.

Not saying these guys are assholes or anything, but I just think with the current world in any work industry it seems to be tricky to make real friendships inside and outside of work.

I don’t know if this just me but I notice that big distinction of the joking around and sharing the same invested topics (I.e. video games) but no more than that

TLDR - Confused if people are being genuine, but they don’t really “care” in a sense?

Please let me know if I’m spouting gobbledygook, thank you.

Dead_or_Alive ,

In my experience Boomers, Gen X and older Millennials generally want to socialize at work. They grew up in a office environment where you were constantly around your coworkers and social media was in its infancy.

Younger Millennials and GenZ mostly want to make a paycheck and go home. They generally don’t want to socialize with people outside of their circle. I sometimes think genZ is way happier at home 24/7 and don’t want human interaction. Could also be they just don’t have the money for it.

MerchantsOfMisery ,

Because people know bosses pit employees against each other.

Etterra ,

They’re just there for a paycheck, relax. Just do the job and head home.

GBU_28 ,

Cause your workplace sucks?

Kolanaki ,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

I never plan to stay very long at most jobs I’ve had. I’m just doing them because I need money. Something better comes along, I leave. So I don’t really feel like making relationships with people I don’t think I’ll work with very long.

retrieval4558 ,

Anomie

canadaduane ,
@canadaduane@lemmy.ca avatar

Word of advice–be a good person to your colleagues, and let friendship possibly develop after one of you leaves. I’ve made many friends throughout the years once we each know there is no pressure to be friends. I’ve had many job leads throughout the years because people I previously worked with thought I was a great colleague.

ApollosArrow ,

From the comments I gather that this mostly depends on the kind of work. I’d assume anywhere that is a “career” type place vs “just a job” will have different kinds of attitudes. At a “just a job” you want to just gfto when you clock out. I’ve mostly had jobs in relation to education or creative, and most of the people there just want to connect.

I’ve always had friends and good times with coworkers, many of whom I’m still in contact with to this day, hell, I’ve helped some of them move.

eatthecake ,

I have a ‘just a job’ and to give you a different perspective: we are bored as fuck and many people survive by socialising. People make friends and start relationships there all the time. There’s a social club and other groups of friends that regularly see each other outside of work. It’s also shift work with regular overtime and weekend work so people can’t always easily socialise outside of their job.

ApollosArrow ,

This has always been my experience as well. My first job was “just a job”. But I worked there for 6 yrs and made many friendships during that time. There were many “time to clock out people”, but at least half regularly hung out.

Wytch ,

The company I work for has a decent professional culture that emphasizes teamwork without any weird gimmicks. But I don’t get paid to make friends with these people. If anything, the people that think they’re there to socialize usually put the work second and make things harder for the rest of the team.

There’s nothing wrong with sharing jokes and having fun at work. As long as you understand that there’s also value in keeping your personal life seperate.

Nemo ,

I don’t really consider someone a friend until we’ve shared a meal. Some places lend themselves more to that than others.

chemicalprophet ,

You’re only there due to the coercion of capitalism. And employees are direct competitors with each other.

Snapz ,

Depends on the type of “workplace” really, but generally, the answer is because work is an unstable capitalist mess and you have no confidence as a worker that you’ll have a job tomorrow, regardless of performance.

You see, your list frames a “failing” of workers to connect, while you’re ignoring the larger system in play. Kind of you walking around Nazi Germany saying, “hey, why is everyone such a frowny bummer? Marching is fun. Okay, so which three snacks would you all take to a desert island?”

Read the room, bud.

Makhno ,

I work in a restaurant and most of us are friends at this point. We drink together, smoke weed together, and generally enjoy each other’s company

pip ,

Restaurant friendships are smth else 👌👌

corsicanguppy ,

I miss the restaurant. FoH was always a slow cat-fight with lots of low-key drama. You make a few friends, turn some tables, grab a beer and go home. It’s uncomplicated work (simple doesn’t always mean easy), or was in my time.

At the IT jobs you have the passionate and the jobbers. I enjoy debating stupid tech things with people but I get that at the end of the day they all go home to their families and real friends after. Our big deal is that even when we’re fighting or Dave’s being a right prick today, we can cooperate and work together like professional adults; and then some of us will hotly debate when and why ipv6 will never happen or something lile that.

But that may be an IT thing. They throw you together for a few years until they cut away half your team, and you have to decide how close you are as friends. The job I quit last year, some of us are on great terms, and we’re meeting tonight. I’m still on a Skype chat - sometimes a call, usually a rolling chat - with some peers from 2003.

There’s no rule that requires you to be friends with your workmates. Sometimes you are, but don’t force it. If you can work professionally with the dinks and make 1-2 actual friends, that’s maybe okay. Ultimately you need to survive work to live, and a good social connection is a bonus that isn’t always gonna happen.

Chozo ,

For me, I just don't have any interest in making friends at work. If we happen to get along, then great! Gimme your number and I'll text you memes about this week's House of the Dragon after work. Daemon needs to get the hell outta Luigi's Mansion, am I right hahaha

But outside of those one-off friendships, I just don't have the emotional energy anymore to maintain any meaningful connections with somebody just because we happened to apply to the same LinkedIn listing. Life is too stressful to be thinking about even more people and their problems.

Maybe it's just because of my line of work, but nobody does this job because we want to, we do it because we're competent at it. We're not here because of some shared vision or dream, but because the hiring manager accepted "some college" on the applications. We're only sharing this space as a matter of consequence, not intention. That's not enough for me to form a bond on in a lot of cases.

Maybe if I worked in a field that I was passionate about, things might be different and I might be more open to connecting with people. But otherwise I'm just here to do what I need to pay my bills, and that's it.

And yeah, it can be lonely. That part can suck.

SkyNTP ,

Being friends is off the table, but solidarity among workers is important.

TheFonz ,

Did you mean Camaraderie?

Tekkip20 OP ,
@Tekkip20@lemmy.world avatar

Yeah sorry lol, Guess the autocorrect didn’t fix it there for me!

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