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RightHandOfIkaros ,

Glocktopus.

None of the other creatures have 8 Glocks.

FreshLight ,

Very good point! I also like the “Sees you in a while” perk the Glockodile has, though. Something that’s alive for quite some time may know some secrets.

RightHandOfIkaros ,

If it sees you in a while, then he probably isn’t very good at dropping his targets.

nuke ,

Bruh you try aiming with just your mouth

verity_kindle ,

I don’t even think they have tongues, bruh.

CanadaPlus , (edited )

True, but it’s slow on land, ordinary rounds only work on land, and it doesn’t voluntarily control it’s arms to aim. Honestly that seems more like a grenade on a roomba for most combat purposes.

RightHandOfIkaros ,

A grenade on a Roomba is exactly what the founding fathers intended all citizens of the United States to have.

TheDoozer ,

You’re looking at it all wrong. It’s like having an 8-man highly coordinated platoon with a brilliant commander and amphibious capabilities.

Glockodile ain’t got shit.

CanadaPlus , (edited )

Yeah, but tentacles can’t see. They’re firing blind based on instructions only.

I suppose it’s still possible an octopus can convey an exact distant angle to a tentacle, even if it’s not an evolutionarily relevant task. Clearly, the only reasonable way to settle this is to steal an octopus from an aquarium, and force it to do dot torture drills on a paid subscriber stream.

nuke ,

More Glock = More Better

conditional_soup ,

Blockatiel

  • blocks all attacks
  • also blocks porn
  • like, all porn
  • help
sugar_in_your_tea ,

Blockatiel has hurt itself in its confusion.

GBU_28 ,

Drone warfare is king, birds are drones, glockatoo is best.

CanadaPlus , (edited )

I assume these pair with each other? If Glock Ness Monster doesn’t exist, does it win or lose?

Otherwise, Glockatoo, since Glocktopus probably has shitty aim and Glockadile will have trouble with weapon elevation.

Glocktopus would be the most fun to watch, though, hands/tenticles-down.

hydroptic OP ,

If Glock Ness Monster doesn’t exist, does it win or lose?

Or is there even a winner?

CanadaPlus ,

On this glorious day, we all lose.

If nonexistance is counted as anything but a loss, it’s the best choice. Glock Ness Monster makes the most modern nuclear subs seem obvious and unsurvivable by comparison.

hydroptic OP ,

And I wouldn’t discount the mystery, either

verity_kindle ,

We could start some brackets, NCAA-style, but by the time you open your desktop, Glockatoo has murked everyone else.

rbesfe ,

Be careful, the Glock Ness monster might turn on you and demand $3.50

verity_kindle ,

Glockatoo has the most versatility for comfortable every day carry.

Wogi ,

If I’m fighting against it, Glock ness monster. If it’s fighting for me, gloctopus.

MyTurtleSwimsUpsideDown ,

I take the pack of Kimber wolves.

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