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mean_bean279 ,

I think I gotta hand it to the Amish on this one. I’ve seen how quickly they can build a barn. Imagine how quickly they could fortify a front. The Mormons just don’t have that capability. Not to mention the Mormon limited selection of hot drinks to drink on the cold bitter front. It would make it far more difficult to fight that war.

Makeitstop ,

Now I want to see the Amish and the Romans trying to out-build each other on a battlefield.

Madison420 ,

Amish 100% because most sects allow for machinery in construction so long as it’s not on the property is necessary and proceeds benefit the community. You’ll see Amish construction workers doing wheelies in skid steers off property.

Plus I don’t really think many people know about or separate mennonites from Amish and that they’re allowed most forms of technology but dress similarly and live in similar dwellings in similar settings.

FireTower ,
@FireTower@lemmy.world avatar

Last I checked the LDS have actual industrial arms manufacturering capacity.

thesporkeffect ,

They also literally run the US government

pearsaltchocolatebar ,

No, that’s evangelicals.

thesporkeffect ,

Politicians, sure. Not what I was talking about though.

harrys_balzac ,

Lots of Mormons in the Secret Service, FBI, etc. Their jingoistic fervor is highly sought after.

skillissuer ,
@skillissuer@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

some recruiters call this “low-risk behavior”, apparently cult takeover was not one of these risks

dditty ,

Yeah their adherence to the Mormon faith means they live largely without indulging in vices so they are harder to compromise/extort (allegedly)

skillissuer ,
@skillissuer@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

yeah they might be harder to compromise with booze but they are already compromised by cult thinking, best deal in history lol

dditty , (edited )

FBI:

https://lemm.ee/pictrs/image/bc08f1c5-f5a2-4f76-940b-63b6fbfd0743.jpeg

skillissuer ,
@skillissuer@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

i heard that CIA recruits from mormons

nuke OP ,

That can’t be real because everyone knows

THERE IS NO CIA

psud ,

I think it even says that in the CIA fact book, which means it is in fact a fact

nuke OP ,

Wait how did you get access to our handbook?

pewgar_seemsimandroid ,

we learned how to print hello world in COBOL

skillissuer ,
@skillissuer@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

it’s the NSA that doesn’t exist

OsaErisXero ,

A not insignificant one at that.

satanmat ,

You must have your years supply of food and ammo just like the prophet told us…

nilloc ,

The Amish might be more self reliant for the long haul. Keep growing veggies and chickens and you can outlast the Mormons during an insurgency.

KamikazeRusher ,

And a fair amount of them own an AR-15

potatopotato ,

This is the real answer, there are soooo many Mormon gun companies and defense contractors it’s fucking wild.

Tar_alcaran ,

And we all know how well it went the last time a massive industrialized army took on a bunch of peasants on bikes.

carl_dungeon ,

I’ll take the Amish, they’re humanity’s insurance policy.

turtlepower , (edited )

Yes, because in-breeding and rape are a great insurance policy…

Edit: For the idiots downvoting— The Amish have a really, really big problem in their communities with these things, and try to sweep them under the rug, just like all religious fucks. Sorry you can’t handle truth and reality. And if you downvoted because you’re Amish…what the fuck are you doing online in the first place?

harrys_balzac ,

I think you’re confusing them with the FLDS and rural Mormons.

turtlepower ,

Can you read? We’re talking about Amish. Though the Mormons (regardless of offshoot or rogue denomination) have a history of rape and abuse, too. Religious fuckheads always do.

FiniteBanjo ,

I’m in the firm belief that Amish are crazy but harmless.

Mormons are not that. Mormons are a modern organization, and one that is ruthless and demanding of its followers, and with funding to spare.

bizarroland ,

Mormons are Scientologists next door neighbors. Cuckoo people with magic underwear and a special guy who got the TRUTH (trust me, bro) and wrote it all down while no one was looking.

They live in the same compound, their kids go to the same creche, the only difference is one's Kool aid is science flavored and the other's is religion flavored.

turtlepower ,

Science fiction flavored*

someguy3 ,

I don’t think Mormons have shunned tech, have they? So Mormons.

Also

Regions with significant populations United States 6,868,793[2] Mexico 1,516,406[3] Brazil 1,494,571[4] Philippines 867,271[5] Peru 637,180[6] Chile 607,583[7] Argentina 481,518[8] Guatemala 290,068[9]

I had no idea it was so prevalent outside of the US.

ASeriesOfPoorChoices ,

and what, only 600,000 allowed into heaven?

itslilith ,
@itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Mormons, it will be a short war but a long and bloody flight, and some Amish resistance cells will operate for decades after

YourPrivatHater ,

The Amish are quite peaceful aren’t they?

Also the Mormons are a sect with all the things, they are a threat to people in general.

nuke OP , (edited )

Friendly reminder to be noncredible. Don’t actually attack other people for their religious beliefs. If you don’t have a funny take, and you’re just here to spread hate, maybe shut the fuck up instead 👍

pewgar_seemsimandroid ,

green man

spujb ,

now this is podracing!

eco ,

The Mormons have $182 billion in investments (that excludes operating assets). Just their stocks/mutual funds/etc. exceed $50 billion.

They could buy 14 aircraft carriers or 1,776 F-35s.

nuke OP ,

BREAKING NEWS: The Mormon Mountain Coalition has airdropped over a dozen aircraft carriers into the middle of Pennsylvania farmlands. The Amish Agrarian Alliance vows retaliation

psud ,

They also have control over a state and probably its national guard sorry, too credible

Sanctus ,
@Sanctus@lemmy.world avatar

Homie could you imagine Amish Guerrilla Warfare? Those dudes are so down to earth you’d think it was straight up the earth that attacked you. They dont even need GPS to know where they are. Mormons are gonna need some huge advantage other than their thug stratagem to beat the Amish Will.

match ,
@match@pawb.social avatar

Yeah this map is basically USA vs Vietnam

nuke OP ,

Amish guerilla agents coming out of literally every tree, bush, patch of vegetation imaginable

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/5c29a58e-52d0-450a-8d53-89280d8d83cf.webp

mediOchre ,

The Amish are the Vietnamese of the USA?

Snapz ,

Ezekiel is in the trees, man!

verity_kindle ,

Whittling sounds…nothing else

harrys_balzac ,

Quite honestly, I think the Amish would find a lot of collaborators. As a former Mormon, I’d be happy to help the Amish out in some way.

EmoDuck ,

Images going to bed in an Mormon military base and waking up that, surprise, the Amish build a prison camp around you during the night

makuus ,

…surprise, the Amish build a prison camp around you during the night

Just a modest shed, really…

Sylvartas ,

They dont even need GPS to know where they are.

Inhales

The Amish knows where it is at all times. It knows this because it knows where it isn’t. By subtracting where it is from where it isn’t, or where it isn’t from where it is (whichever is greater)…

Rentlar ,

UTAHvid-19 vs. OH1o-N1

Sterile_Technique ,
@Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world avatar

Anyone got $7? This question is actually testable.

frezik ,

It’s one of the rare examples that’s almost the opposite of a population heat map.

negativenull ,
@negativenull@lemmy.world avatar

Mormons would unleash their MLM army against the Amish and try to bankrupt them.

silkroadtraveler ,

This is the most accurate and funniest take here! An army of wellness advocates will descend on the Amish and unleash a flood of irresistible essential oils

wieson ,

Oh, but the vanity!

Now, we don’t want to be vain, do we, Agnes?

ironhydroxide ,

The mor(m)ons would.

They use technology, and have an insanely huge bankroll.

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